How to deal with cyberstalking?

[MeltingCORE]

Hey guys. I'm sorry to be making such a serious topic. I'm just going to be blunt: I chose to cut off a relationship about five months ago and the person has been cyberstalking me since then. I've done everything I can. I've stayed silent. I've gotten angry and screamed, cussed, been as nasty as possibly I can to make them to leave me alone. I've blocked them thoroughly everywhere I possibly can which includes using a program called LeechBlock (this makes their page turn white if any links are clicked). And I've done all this without publicly mentioning their name because I don't believe in that unless the person is breaking the law.

Please help me.

I've told this person to leave me alone and they still are attempting to passive-aggressively get my attention through other avenues. I genuinely believe they think I'm their property and I can't just cut off the relationship because I'm an object. I just want to be left alone and they will not stop. My family and friends are terrified for me because they technically know which state I live in. I don't think they'll try and come to me. But I need help at this point. I am worried about this turning into a CreepShowArt situation where they stalk me and try to hurt me for years. I literally just want to be left alone. I want nothing to do with them. Nothing. If they would just stop and leave me alone, I would be fine. They certainly have the right to exist (I'm not unfair) but not the right to follow me around. What exactly are the laws on cyberstalking and harassment? What about internationally? If you've told someone to leave you alone and they bypass blocks? If they continue to follow every move you make and post nasty messages on places you use? When you revoke the relationship and tell them to move on multiple times?

[MeltingCORE]

I'm messaging the moderators privately now just in case the person tries come at me here too. I'm so sorry, guys. This doesn't need to be public.

This has to stop. Your local MeltingCORE will be back to her regularly scheduled programming soon!

@joannekwan I'm messaging you now in case I need help here!

[Bokyongyo]

lone and they still are attempting to get passive-aggressively my attention through other avenues. I genuinely believe they think I'm their property and I can't just cut off the relationship because I'm an object. I just want to be left alone

Wow, alright first I don't know where you live but I would as soon as possible see if you can file a restraining order on this person. As you go through this situation remind yourself this, "No they won't stop". Anybody who reacts to a ending of a relationship by going straight to cyberstalking/stalking their ex isn't right in the head so keeping that in mind will help how you move going forward. If they went this far, the chance of them stopping out of nowhere is out of the question. And even if they did stop, the fact they did it in the first place is no excuse and still should be reported.

If this person is currently on the forums I would contact the mods privately for sure to get their account and whatever further accounts they have completely removed from the platform.

Check how your local government penalizes cyberstalking/stalking and go from there. In no way shape or form should somebody live like this especially due to something as insignificant as a relationship not working out and cutting ties.

Be safe and get help now

Here's a resource for stalking and how to approach going about it.
https://victimsofcrime.org/stalking-resource-center/

[MeltingCORE]

I'm pretty upset right now. Not going to lie. Luckily, they're not an ex. I've been with my significant other for 15+ years. Which makes it worse. They were an online friend that I made the personal choice to let go. I was foolish enough to let them know my state and city through PMs earlier this year. I don't want to get them removed... I really sound lame right now. My brain is all frazzled. I don't want to get them removed unless they keep coming after me. I want to be left alone so badly. That's why I ended the relationship in the first place and yes, they went straight into rage/stalking/etc. And have been doing it for months. I've alerted my friends and family that they appear to be up to no good again. Even just seeing their name makes me feel physically sick and anxious. It's ridiculous. No one has the right to make me feel this way.

Thank you for the info! I'll give it a leaf-through when I have a break next.

[telari]

Totally agree with @Reveal here, see if you can file a restraining order. I'm not from the US, but from what I know of the law there, this might potentially qualify? Especially if that person knows where you live. Stay safe!

[MeltingCORE]

I don't want to go to much into detail because again personal, but the situation might be a bit tricky with addresses. I've told my work and they're helping connect me to people who may be able to help. I'm about to head over. I'm not going to do anything yet and I'm honestly not sure what exactly can be done. If anything. But I'm going to visit them and talk just in case. I won't let this turn into the aforementioned YouTuber situation when I've demanded to be left alone multiple times. If you guys are unaware of that particular situation, the YouTuber was stalking another YouTuber (who also is named Emily) who slighted her for years on end. She spread lies, mentally and socially tormented her, plagiarized videos, obtained underage nudes, and got Emily fired from her job. All over being slighted that Emily admittedly said some mean things about her singing and dated her ex. That's why they say to collect evidence.

Enough is enough. If I'm left alone, I'll be able to finally move forward for good. I already exploded once in a very negative way. I need to be left alone for good.

Edit: Seems like it might take awhile here but yeah. Still not sure what can be done - waiting.

[sorible]

Holy shit. I don't have any good advice to give but I hope everything will turn out okay! I've had a similar situation with someone I knew irl and it was really hard to deal with.

[Crusoe]

What others have said: try to get legal help if you can with police interference if possible where you live. Try to gather screenshots every time they approach you so you can start to built up a catalogue to strengthen your case but definitely only do so if safe for you

[MeltingCORE]

Luckily, I began to collect evidence last year when I started feeling uneasy! Like something really wasn't right. I don't intend on sharing them with forum users so please don't ask. I have no reason to do a "call-out" at the moment. I hope to be left alone from now on. I don't hate this person. I'm definitely disappointed and felt extreme rage at one point. But not only am I scared for myself: I'm scared for them. I hope someone who cares for them can step in and help pry them away from obsessing over me. There's no need to try and get reactions from me. There's no need for that when I have no intention of interacting ever again. There's nothing I want or need except for them to chill out, enjoy the life they have, and move on.

Again personal but they may be able to track their location if needed. This would be a laborious, time-consuming process due to the circumstances. But I would only need to take that route if they engage in extreme harassment, doxxing, hacking, and other criminal acts.

For now, I will not be taking that route. I'll continue what I've been doing and avoid them at all costs. And screenshot any further attempts at harassment on the places I can't block them. In terms of the places I can't block them (where attempts at getting my attention have been made), I will only log on when I know they can't possibly be online. That should help continue to separate them from me.

Thank you for the support everyone and thank you to those who DMed me with advice on how to proceed if this gets any worse.

[thecrystalrook]

If you're in the US, you can get an order-of-no-contact to start. If they breach it, you can escalate.

[MeltingCORE]

Unfortunately, it's a bit trickier and I'm keeping the info private but it involves two different countries. I have screenshot after screenshot after screenshot of the type of harassment I received. (ie I blocked them on my personal Tumblr and they were incessantantly "replying" on other places I couldn't block them on. Meaning they were bypassing the blocks I had set in place on Tumblr and reading info they shouldn't be able to access in the first place. And they were uno reversing all the problems I had with them onto me. This led to me mentally breaking down and raging in a nasty way. And I screenshot me freaking out too because I want to be honest.)

Hence what the station ended up saying. It's possible to take action but would take quite some time. I've alerted the staff of every site we share to make sure I'm left alone. Because again, I only have had one request this entire time: Please, leave me alone.

[DiegoPalacios]

This led to me mentally breaking down and raging in a nasty way. And I screenshot me freaking out too because I want to be honest.)

That may only give the stalker a sense of importance.......if the goal behind the stalking is to make you suffer, they are getting the satisfaction. Don't reply to them, they can't be reasoned with.

Gather evidence and build a case.....and i know you don't want to publicly call them out, but it may be a neccesary if things escalate.

Sorry you are going through that and please take care. Your safety is priority, and at this point, their feelings are worthless....if they are willing to harm you so much, you don't owe them anything.

[Crusoe]

It seems like a horrible thing to go through, but you're definitely taking the right steps to protect yourself. Stay safe!

[MeltingCORE]

That's true. They always ate my misery and rage like cookies for some reason. They know personal details of my life including my mental health and the home situation I escaped this year which I think they enjoyed. Anytime I'm happy or successful at something they come barreling in to strike at me. I do understand their behavior is an attempt to get a reaction from me. And they want to annihilate my presence on social media by driving me off through repeated antagonizing. That's what the station said as well. But I will never let that happen. Ever. I enjoy my work too much and so do many others. I've already had people sad I left one website. So, they'll now be forced to move on no matter what.

I'll make sure I continue taking the precautions to protect myself @Dibujalex @MeLovesTacos ...I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

[MeltingCORE]

@joannekwan If we could close this thread I would appreciate it! I've received all the legal advice I need for now. Thank you.

[joannekwan]