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Klaustasya
Dec '20

Of course, loneliness is, most of the times, just a temporary emotion; it can last a day or a week or even months in the worst cases but at some point life goes on and things change for the better (for everyone).

Why am i opening this topic though?
The reason is quite simple actually: i feel much more lonely now that i broke up with my boyfriend and sadly discovered that even if i have a couple of friends, i'm not so close to them: conversations last for too little time and i don't even want to bother people (who's not used to have a deep contact with me) too much just to force a deeper friendship.
It may sounds like i'm complaining or not really wanting to solve the problem, but i know what i miss and what i need now, the only problem is that this thing is not achievable in a short time to cure a temporary loneliness.

So, back to the simplest question, even if everyone has its own way to deal with their problems a new point of view is always refreshing and mind-opening sometimes: Have you ever feel lonely? How do you cope with this feeling? What helps you into thinking positively?

I'm trying to avoid being self-sucked into my usual activities (example: drawing) too much, cause otherwise i would just close myself in without actually feeling good maybe.

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milejdyvan
Dec '20

This will probably be a bizarre response but I took a personality test and found out that I am an INFP - T. If you're not familiar with 16 personalities, that probably doesn't mean much, but the thing is, I never really felt loneliness to an extreme level. Like I would miss some of my friends but honestly meeting them once a half year was more than enough for me :sweat_smile: I always thought I was weird for this until I found out that my personality type is VERY infamous for this trait. I even saw videos mocking this trait for us 🤣🤣 plus, I also go to work and socialize with people that way so it's not like I am super lonely, but yeah, even just the people I care about, all I need is to see them every once in a while and I'll be okay. But I definitely think I get that feeling of loneliness from others.

Arterrex
Dec '20

It is easier to be alone for some people than others. I personally find it easier to be alone than probably most people. I think the easiest way to cope with loneliness is to stay busy and keep your mind occupied. They say idle hands are the devil's workshop. In that sense, if you are busy doing things, anything really, you can preoccupy your mind with things other than focusing on one's loneliness. This can lead to burnout though so it is important to have a variety of activities. I find actively doing things (drawing, writing, games) that engage your brain are especially useful.

You say you don't want to be immersed in your usual activities too much, but ultimately outside of actually going to socialize with other people, just doing what makes you happy by yourself is the best way to deal with loneliness. At least imo it is about finding contentment in your current situation unless you are adamant about changing it.

DiegoPalacios
Dec '20

Due to the logistic limitations covid has imposed, i recommend alternate socialization methods....

For example, i play some online games with my family or just share silly stuff on watsapp....Interactions don't need to be long, but they need to be positive.

Have fun, sometimes bonding in the little stuff can lead to the comfort for deeper topics and the emotional support you may seek.

cherrystark
Dec '20

I don't think there is one clear cut answer to dealing with loneliness. I never had tons of friends growing up. I just had my siblings and a few friends that I grew up within my church. Since my immediate neighbors were all elderly people, I generally played with my siblings. Over time, I learned to be fairly independent. I still deal with loneliness from time to time. Part of me wants more connections. I know tons of people who have romantic partners to shoulder the trials of life during a pandemic together. Other people have roommates they share everything with. I'm on my own.

I think the biggest key to dealing with loneliness is learning to like and be okay with yourself. Because of my anxiety, I still have trouble going places by myself. However, I still go places by myself. If there is a cool shop I want to explore, I go check it out. If there is a cool movie that strikes my fancy, I watch it. I don't limit my freedom because I don't have a posse of people to travel with. This mentality also made living on my own much easier.

If you still, struggle with loneliness. Reach out and talk to someone. Send a text. Call your mum. Make connections.

Inspector_Spinda
Dec '20

I’m trying to find a job. Recently I felt strong loneliness before bed because I wasn’t tired and although I’ve been drawing a lot I really haven’t been take busy lately. So I’m not feeling the most fulfilled or contributive. I think if I killed time working for at least part of the day I’ll be able to feel better about myself

Legendofgenii
Dec '20
1

Maybe joining a club of some kind could work? That way you are socialising, but someone else is organising it. Then you just have to show up once a week etc. (Once everything is back to normal I mean :grimacing:)

If you like drawing, maybe a life drawing class (or any class)? You can learn new things and make friends (if you want to - casual friendships are ok too).

It’s not in person, but I started a thread here (for sketching) that is very social and supportive. If you’d like the link just let me know. :+1:

NickRowler
Dec '20

I don't really have a lot of close friends and have dealt with many years of isolation and loneliness. I feel it has turned me into a bit of a self-hating recluse.

I feel things that help that a lot of people usually don't suggest is...

  • Podcasts. It helps make you feel like you are listening on a conversation a group of friends are having.

  • Twitch. Some streamers will have "Just Chattting" streams and will sometimes just talk casually with their followers.

  • A Hobby. I don't mean drawing, I mean something that you can focus on to help distract yourself. Like if you are into birds, you can spend your free time reading up on birds or Google bird stuff. And maybe go to a bird sanctuary. You might even meet other people who are into it or at least find fun memes that make you feel happy.

cortezlord96
Dec '20

@Klaustasya I want you to know that despite what you think or feel, you are NOT alone!

A bit about me. I'm married, no kids, surrounded by people I can talk to, BUT (here is the kicker) I have diastatic depression meaning while I don't suffer from big bought of deep depression, I will never be happy. I live with a constant cloud of contentness or meh about everything. I know this lonely feeling cause it's my every day reality, but what I can tell you to help is connect with others on things you enjoy. Art? Connect with other writers, do some collaborations that force you to be active. Surround yourself that push you to be better. Create a circle of improving each other, maybe even have weekly voice/video meetings.

Try new things like meetup.com to try things that have peeked your interest. I have done it for years and ALWAYS found 99% of people are very welcoming even for completely clueless people. :smiley:

If you need to talk we are here, but feel free to reach out via IG "DarkDekuLord", cause I'm bad at following up on forums, but if anyone just needs to vent or whatever please don't feel like you have noone. I might not be able to solve your problem, but I can at least be there.

AmazementComicsThe Best Fruit Smoothies
Dec '20

Well sure. Everyone feels lonely from time to time. I feel it all the time. But I've learned to get by just fine. This maybe an unpopular opinion (oh who am I kidding? A lot of things I say are unpopular) but being lonely can help you discover more about yourself. What you really like and what you don't.

Don't ever force friendships that won't pan out. In the past, I've heard of people who told they just socialize for the sake of having companionship, but one of the best qualities you can obtain in life is learning to be by yourself. People who you can confide in may come later for some. It's only the select few in your corner who'll matter.

Also, many people on here said it best. Don't draw if it's going to bog you down with feelings of isolation. For me, it helps to play video games, do puzzles, listen to podcasts or exercise. Or, if possible you could even travel the world at your own leisure to take in a perspective of life. There ARE things that can keep you preoccupied and are very open-minded.

Take care of yourself, and try to live life positively, You only get one. Peace :v:.

VibrantFoxRegular
Dec '20

I've immersed myself in fiction to cope. I already have trouble just reaching out to interact with folks so most often than not I'm reading comics, working on my own art or hard focused playing video games.

I'm still at home so family is around but even then it's hard to connect or relate given all the age gaps. I'm used to isolation and sometimes don't mind it but when it comes to feeling lonely I'll just retreat to my imagination and express through art or games.

I've had people who speak fervently about how escapism isn't good for you but it's literally the only thing I've got. I'm capable of accepting and acknowledging reality, I'm aware of what's going on in the world around me but sometimes my brain needs a break from all the bad and especially my own negative emotions.

Honestly I don't think there's one hard solution to dealing with or coping with loneliness especially when there also strained or distant relationships involved, everyone handles things differently. I guess I just hope that for us lonely folk things get better

sarahmcsquish
Dec '20

I've dealt with some serious loneliness this year. I lost my dad in January, and the pandemic hit so soon after that I haven't seen friends since March. I had an online friend for a long while, but we cut ties recently due to her homophobia.

The biggest thing that's helped me not go batshit? My dog. My delightful, endlessly excited, 50lbs of fur, dog. Even if I feel like not getting out of bed, she's hungry or wants to cuddle. I have to keep going forward because she deserves all I can give her. And I see the same lonely feeling on her. We used to go out every weekend to sports bars and the regulars would play with her. She's been all cooped up too, but she stays happy and ready for snacks.