HGohwell
Aug '23

Something I've stumbled across a quite a few times when giving feedback on Tapas novels, especailly newer novels, is people clearly struggling with descriptions. So, I figured I'd give a few tips here on how to handle it, because helping each other improve our craft is what the forums are for.

So, what's the problem? Generally, this falls into two categories: no descriptions or list of descriptions. Neither is great. Your third option is purple prose, but that's far less common, but equally annoying if not handled well.

Why is it a problem? Because description is actually an important part of your novel. It should tell me something. Every part of your story should pull some sort of double duty on character, plot or world. Describing a place or a character should also do that. What a city looks like tells you about their history or culture, what a character looks like tells you about that character and how these things are described tells you about the person describing it. If two characters look at the same shade of green, and one desribes it as tacky and the other calls it tropical, that tells you thinks about them. If you don't describe anything, you characters are blank faces standing in a white void. If you just list things I might as well be reading a wikipedia article rather than a story and my eyes will glaze over. When was the last time you looked at a grocery list and found it fascinating? Characters and places make your story interesting, after all.

What do you do then? This is always a tricky matter. A lot of it will depend on your own style. But having a style doesn't mean your style is no description, that's a weak excuse, and most of the time it's an excuse made by people who don't want to admit how weak their writing is. Your descirption should match the rest of your witing style. It's incredibly jarring to go from a elegant writing style to a list. Here are some things to consider in your descriptions:

  • Pick a trait to start with. When describing something, pick something to notice first. If you're writing 1st person or 3rd person close, get inside your character's head and think what would they notice first? Or what is the most noticable trait of what you're desribing. Is a character hit with a pungent smell of a city? Or do they notice the fresh air because they've never been out of the city? Is the shop crowded with uneven shelves and unorganised products, or perfectly neat and sterile? Is a tree twisted in an odd way like it's in pain? Is a character noticably tall? Is the character judging their revealing dress as slutty or are they jealous they can't wear dresses like that? Especailly for minor characters or places you're just passing through, this can add a lot of character very quickly, without needing to overwhelm the reader.
  • Pace yourself. Sometimes, a good description paragraph can be good, but they have to be used sparingly and interestingly. They're most effectve when describing something big, grand and unusual, like a cathedral or a castle or palace. Something awe inspiring and huge that you need to give reverence to. Not characters and clothes and rarely day to day surroundings. More effective, is dropping a scattered lines here and there through your story. Start with a noticable trait, as above, then slowly build. Introduce your character as, let's say, blond, then a few sentences later you can tell me she brushes down her blue dress that falls just below her knees and doesn't match her shoes. This slowly and naturally builds up the character description without breaking the flow of your writing.
  • Be interesting, not purple. The issue of purple prose is where lots of people go when trying to avoid listing and nothing. Overly flowery, dramatic descriptions can work, if the writing and tone matches. Most of the time though, it just becomes obnoxious. That doesn't mean you can't be interesting. It's very easy to go over the top when just a few setences at most will do. Sometimes simple is best. In trying to overdo your descriptions to be interesting, you can often make them overwrought and difficult to read. And the worst thing to be is difficult to read.
  • Most importantly, for all writing, read it out loud! I give this advice so often, but sit your cat down and read your story to them. You would be amazed how much you can improve your work just by reading it out loud. Or, if that's too much, get text-to-speach, because yes, they are clunky and awkward, but in many ways that's better because it reads it exactly how it is, now how you or another human thinks it should be read. Hearing your work is totally different to reading it and can improve your wok so much.

Hopefully some of this helps someone. It's a common problem I see in a lot of novels here asking for feedback, so hopefully this helps some people out and don't feel too bad if you fall into this because lots of people do. It's like everything in writing and takes time to improve. We all start somewhere.

As always, not all advice is universal, these are just my opinions, don't take them personally and don't apply to every work. And as always, feel free to share any tips you have or tell me if you disagree.

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cherrystark
Aug '23

Excellent advice!

I would like to add - describe what's important.

I saw a post awhile ago about describing clothing. Ever since I joined the online world, clothing descriptions had given me the ick because the writer would often stop the story to give readers a detailed description of what the MC and all her friends were wearing. And they would act like saying "it's X designer" was more than enough detail to let me visualize it.

The OP's advice was to describe the clothing when it's important. They go on to say essentially that it's okay to assume that everywhere is wearing some type of shirt, pants, underwear, and appropriate footwear in any given scene. If they're naked, show the appropriate reaction to finding out someone is naked. The only time you really should be describing their clothing is when it doesn't work for the scene - like having a woman trying to go hiking wearing a floor-length ballgown while hiking, or it the clothes have an emotional impact, like someone who is all wet and is experiencing hypothermia.

How a Character Describes a Location/Event/Person Tells Readers More about the Character than What They are Describing

This one might seem strange, but hear me out. With the rise of authors using First Person POV for their stories, the MC is often left responsible for describing things to readers. Describing how pristine the deck of a new spaceship is, is a great way to convey how excited and potentially naive the MC is. But if decide to focus on describing the array of colorful toys, fairy lights, and the ultra-comfy chair in the cockpit, tells me more about the pilot and their personality than saying "he's funny loving and a jokester"

It's Okay to Be "Lazy" with Descriptions

A lot of writers tend to be afraid of descriptions because they don't to venture into the "purple prose" territory. It's okay to say if he's wearing a blue shirt or she's wearing sleek armor. If you want to go into more detail about a character, let other characters do it. They can quickly mention that "Jade's hair needs a good brushing" or "Lizzie always wears that old gray hoodie". They can even wax poetic about a character's description and it's not purple prose. It's just a character in love, haha.