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May 2021

We all know that the romance genre is by far the most popular, but how do you explain its appeal to someone that don't care about romance? the aroace in question is myself lol I'm really curious, thanks in advance.

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    May '21
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    May '21
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There are 63 replies with an estimated read time of 16 minutes.

I don’t know about aro but i’m an ace and i like good romances. Maybe if the romance itself is woven into another genre like thriller or the genre the aro person like they’ll more likely to try it?

To be honest, I don't really know, because from what I read, we're all different :smile:

I enjoy a good story, but people are really obsessed with shipping, it's kinda weird to me, because I feel nothing at all in relation to romance, not in real life, not in fiction, it's an enigma that I was too afraid to ask till now haha

I don’t really know either lmao, i also usually only like romance when the romance isn’t the main genre, but the story just happens to have romance in it. Ah shipping, i can see why you can’t relate to shipping at all lmao, but it’s true that shipping is really popular and usually the only thing readers care about :sweat_02:

I know right? everyone only care about shipping, and their husbandos / waifus, we're here like ??? lmao

Maybe because most readers are still teenagers, maybe when they become older they will care less about shipping and more about the story. Idk.

Honestly, if you don't like it, you just don't like it. You don't need to understand the appeal, just like I don't need to understand why someone would be into big, dramatic action scenes. Those kinds of scenes just aren't something I'm into! I'm way more into stories that are about characters, and romance stories showcase characters very nicely.

I love romance, I love erotica, I love what it shows about characters, I love how it showcases communication, commitment, people working together, working through things, tenderness, etc, etc.

I could go deeper into it, but reading your replies, it doesn't seem like any explanation is gonna change your mind, so I would say just don't use your energy trying to understand, instead, go focus on supporting the types of stories you do like instead! Cuz there are PLENTY of author's here on Tapas who really want readers for their non-romance comics.

The romance genre has historically been thought of as "lesser", and I'm seeing just a little, itty bit of that in this thread already, and like, there's no reason to do that. People like it, you don't! I would say just kind of... ignore it and move on? :open_mouth:

I'm neither aro nor ace but I don't personally see why people think romantic relationships are so much more interesting to read about than friendships.
Also a good deal of romance stories fall flat or are even repulsive to me, so I may not be the best person to give help. But, the romance stories I like could have been working as friendship stories, too.
So I would say, take a romance story like if it was a friendship story with a few differences. If it's not appealing to you, could be because you are aro, but could also be that it's just not a story that has a lot of appeal beside the romance aspects, and that could also be boring or offputting to non-aro people who simply don't find the romance relatable.

I suppose you may have more luck with stories that have some substance other than the romance (not to ignore it, but because the context may make it more accessible for you to understand), as well as stories with the couple having a strong friendship component, with a lot of interactions that are not romantic-specific.

You don't get what I mean then, it's not that I look down on romance, or that I don't like it, it's more: I literally see no appeal in it, and I want to understand different perspectives about it, you said yours already, and I appreciate it, thanks for that.

Repulsive? o.O like toxic relationships? or something else?

That would be the worst, but I have a lot of other milder repulsions. I hate any kind of gender roles (tbh I'm nonbinary so this may explain that :grin:), I'm easily unconfortable with age or height difference, I'm extremely put off by unbalanced power dynamics even if not downright toxic etc etc.
Plus I'm getting old, so detailed stories about high school relationships are at best unrelatable, at worst slightly unconfortable to read :sweat_smile:

I'm demisexual and I write some pretty darn good romance! I've also read "Let's Talk About Love" by Claire Kann - a book with an asexual character falling in love - and, honestly, it was so adorable. I got squee feels from reading it.

I think a big problem with this is how society has intertwined "sex" and "love" in unhealthy ways. Just because you have sex with someone doesn't mean you love them and just because you love someone doesn't mean you need to have sex with them.

And while I really like to write romance - many stories of which has sex scenes - there's always a build up with emotions and a connection before it gets to the NSFW stuff. Which isn't always true for romantic love interests that are instantly sexually attracted to one another.

Now, I'm not aromantic, but I imagine deep connections would be appealing for an aro romance. Clear communication, tender moments, someone who is there for you, and someone you just want to spend the rest of your life with?

Love manifests in tons of different ways.

Gender roles, Age / Height Difference, Unbalanced Power Dynamic, and stories aimed at younger people... I can totally see why you would feel disgusted by that lol, thank you very much for your input @vothnthorvaldson it opened my eyes :slight_smile:

I guess for some aros, but certainly not for me, I don't really care about tender moments, or someone being there for me, and it's not like I didn't have this stuff, I just didn't feel anything, like friends, romance, and even s3x does nothing to me... I feel kinda broken, and that's why I'm so curious about others obsession with romance haha, sorry for the somewhat personal text.

Lmao, it's kinda neither, and both, I don't really understand your repulsion, because I don't feel anything, but I kinda see your point, it's weird... :smile:

What an interesting question!

Hmmm, I think its due to degrees of empathy?

So my daily life is like :slight_smile: nice, ok , good, chill. When I read manga//webtoons/watch tv/film/theatre i'm able to experience so many emotions that I wouldn't on a regular day, binging a series got me like
:laughing::disappointed_relieved::cry::rage::sob::scream::weary::fearful::heart_eyes::joy::slight_smile::disappointed::smirk::sweat::triumph::sweat_smile::tired_face::flushed: etc and that experience, that excitement, that entertainment is what gets me addicted to a fictional story

Geniunely feeling physiological reactions to the pixels on my screen, ink on the pages, like butterflies in the stomach, tears in my eyes, goosebumps etc that is what I seek out for fiction

Now different emotions have different 'thresholds' to unlock them in me. For webtoon format, fear is by far the hardest/highest. I can hardly find a webtoon scary, that's super rare, whilst the easiest to unlock is, you guessed it, excitement from romance~

That doki doki feeling :tired_face: the serotonin/dope just flows easily from a scene with my faves flirting


but the serotonin from jump scares is harder to get in this specific medium. I attribute it to different levels of suspension of disbelief and easier for me to empathise with an awkward confession than being chased by serial killers lol

So ultimately I'm seeking more stories to give me that happy hormone, I end up reading a whole lot of romance

That being said, only a sixth of my all time favourite manga, one twelfth of all time favourite movies, one quarter of fave anime, and one eight of my fave tv shows are romance despite being majority of my consumption, so romance obvs doesn't make a story better to me, just increases my likelihood of reading it

What an interesting answer, so basically you feel like the character right? from what I understand from your answer, it's like you're there, and you feel what the character is feeling, like a confession, either that or it just triggers a memory in you, like you said that you can't relate to a serial killer chasing you lol, this thing that you feel is so weird, but so interesting, thank you very much for that insight, I feel like you have the ultimate answer :smile:

Exploring the forging of a powerful emotional/physical bond between (usually) two people. I think regardless of it being platonic or not, any story that demonstrates a magnetism between characters will have a lot of appeal, but people find the romantic aspect exciting. Certain traditional gestures like a kiss thats well built up to is like a release of energy to the reader. You can feel kind of a burst? Or thats what I feel when the romance is good.

In this case I think it's (sometimes) about the potential connection people sense? But personally my favorite ships are weird ones. Like, things that shouldn't go together but do (like a weird food combination). People just like exploring relationships, and find a degree of greater satisfaction when the exploration has a romantic bent. I do think there's too much emphasis on romance, but I'm also a HUGE sucker for it, so I always find myself wanting more rather than less. XD

How fun, I'll give it a shot!
I guess the romance genre is very personal, like looking into the home of the author. Unlike elaborate worlds, romance is drawn from the author's personal life/ fantasies/ and perspective of what it means to be loved.

Learning the love language of the people around you is helpful to strengthen bonds (giving gifts, spending time, giving compliments, etc.) Romance stories show different methods of expressing those love languages.

I wouldn't say that's why I like romance, but I think it's an argument for the romance genre!