I'll say this. You have two repeating hooks in your premise (The colossal artifact beyond wildest imagination ripping them from the Mars, followed by to more stuff beyond wildest imaginations. It comes off as redundant.)
How about this: After they stumble upon a mysterious artifact, and then follow that with the "they find themselves..."
Here is mine for reference (the final hook is bolded):
What do you become after you reincarnate? Do you become a hero… or a villain… or even a monster? Unfortunately, salaryman Ishikawa Kazuki wasn’t so lucky.
Sent to an isekai fantasy world, Kazuki has become a mere pebble, unable to speak or move or interact with the world in any meaningful way. All he can do is observe and reflect on the world around him. But he soon discovers that things are not as they seem...
Here is a link to my story if you are interested: