I will review the first 5 (Mostly more) chapters of your novel/comic! [CLOSED]

[Nossumy]

Thank you so much for your great review and advice
I'll redo first few episodes after a while probably.
Because when I look at episode 7 and see how Chippo doesn't look as good as in newer episodes I'm surprised how happy I was with it back then. xD

[Lirina]

Thanks very much for taking your time and your honest feedback!

I agree on the title. When I came up with it, it was supposed to be a simple, light-hearted romance story. As the plot developed, the story got darker and more serious so the current title isn't really fitting anymore... I guess I'll also work on the cover font

Personally, I think the plot is the strong point of my story but it takes quite a bit to pick up. Perhaps I will add more foreshadowing--I'll have a think!

[samiluu]

Thank u, it's been very useful and a very good review too​ made me happy! Will work more on it! (And ask someone if they help me with the grammar errors, since English is not my native language)

[WoollyPAR]

I know you already read this and liked it lol, but I'd like a more specific review on it if you're willing to give one. And here's my novel as well in case you want something different from me

Cat Club | Tapas

Spacial Awareness | Tapas

[Nossumy]

I was trying to find a font that would fit or make my own misty font but it doesn't look good. (If you have any recommendations for a better font I'm willing to try them out ^^ ) I will also read your story and make a mini review on it at some point soon.
So I did this instead:

[chestnutriceeee]

This is pretty good! I'll try looking into some fonts and get back to you if I find anything good! Keep up the great work!

[LinQ]

A bit overdue but I checked out your novel. Here are my thoughts.

The cover/banner: It looks really cool! The whole gears of a time piece theme is really fitting and I like the font and texture on the title. Did you make it yourself in photoshop or some similar software?

How hooking the prologue is: Really well done prologue. I'll put the rest under spoilers just in case someone else wants to check it out.

Summary

I like how the prologue was also Ivan's first time testing out trial run. It made it really organic in terms of exposition and stuff. Honestly after reading the prologue I felt like he was a bit off his rocker which I'm assuming is on purpose? I don't know I guess I'll have to read further to find out

Impressions on the first few chapters and whether they make me want to keep reading: Strong start. When Ivan "broke the 4th wall" I was a bit thrown off but I think that's part of your style that I need to get used to. I definitely intend to read further.

I feel like I can take the next few categories at once since I haven't read super far (first 5 chapters) and I'll just end up repeating points.

General story, style, tone, and setting: The plot seems pretty interesting and highly driven by Ivan as a character. The style is new to me I haven't read anything like it. It feels highly conversational which I had to adapt to a bit. The tenses were a bit weird in places but nothing too problematic.
The setting is very interesting and mostly cloudy right now since, as I mentioned, I haven't read that far. Minor gripe, Ivan's thoughts are sometimes in italics and sometimes just part of the paragraph. Not a huge problem or anything but I couldn't help but notice

An Example

Anyway not really an issue at all just a matter of consistency. Doesn't take away from the story in any way.

Overall it's really unique. Even though a few sentences here and there struck me as a bit strange, that was mostly me adapting to your way of storytelling which is quite gripping. I subscribed and will definitely go back to read more. Nice work!

[chestnutriceeee]

Thank you very much for checking out my work and for the helpful review. I really appreciate it. Ivan is certainly a crazy character to the point that he should be getting immediate mental help.

I guess my grammar is still not too good. I'll try to fix the tenses and whatever strange sentences I find. Thank you very much for pointing it out.

As for the italics... I originally wrote the whole story without any dialogue tags, and it's a product of that. I keep going over the story for errors but miss a few. Thanks a lot for pointing it out, I have fixed it.

[skullonya]

I just started to read yours, the concept seems great, and the way you introduced the ability and how easy it was to follow the scene was amazing. So you got yourself a new reader.

I just started and will update regularly; episode 2 is scheduled soon. The feedback I got from friends was the usual - looks nice, so I'd like to know from the readers perspective. Thank you for the offer.

What's beyond the horizon | Tapas

[chestnutriceeee]

Sorry for such a long gap. My laptop broke down, and I got it fixed just a while back. Writing a review on my phone would've been difficult. ;;>.<

-The cover/banner: It's a good cover, sweet and simple. I think the color around the mask is slightly different from the rest of the background? You might wanna change that, it can throw some people off.

-How hooking the prologue is: It's an interesting start. Maybe it's because of my own style, but I found it oddly slow-paced. The descriptions of her gadgets reduced the thrilling tension of the hectic surroundings.

-Impressions on the first few chapters and whether they make me want to keep reading: Yes. I find it very interesting. The story has my whole intrigue and post prologue, the pacing is pretty nice too.

I will cover the remaining here since I can't find much to say. The story is great and you have written it very well. The only things that stood out were a few awkward sentences and scene transition. It was difficult to understand when the scene has changed.

Other than those, I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the great work,

[burgundy]

If you're still doing reviews I see you have a lot already.

Try Your Luck | Tapas

[chestnutriceeee]

Oh, I've been subbed to you for a while! I'll go over things really quickly because there's not much for me to say about your art or anything.

The cover is amazing, very catchy. I'll count your first 6 chapters as a prologue and say that they are done well. The plot quickly moves into a fight which is hooking.

The fight then goes on all the way to page 15, which can be too long for some people to go without getting any context and world-building but should be fine.

The story is generally very interesting. Gives off the vibe of a lighthearted tale of friends and adventures. Your art style is amazing. The poses are dynamic, the characters are expressive, and the backgrounds are very well done. A few panels felt flat, but that's probably just me.

One thing that struck me as odd was that the bartender mostly had his mouth open in the same manner throughout many pages. That last bit doesn't really matter but was a funny thing to notice since I was re-reading it.

The dialogues are smooth and natural. The only issue that one could have is the slightly slow pacing but since you are releasing a page every week it shouldn't be a problem in my opinion.

To end things. Your comic is a very fun read that everyone can enjoy! Keep up the great work!

[Stargazer31]

Thanks in advance!

Realmwalker | Tapas

[RSung]

Here's my comic, just updated recently.

Regular life of Eliza | Tapas

[Koneko-chan-hai]

Hi! Is it alright for you to check out my webcomic Hetero Sakura? My comic is still at its second chapter, but some feedback, especially in the beginning, never hurts. It is a sci-fi story set in a post-apocalyptic nuclear winter. Thank you!

Hetero Sakura | Tapas

[chestnutriceeee]

I've been subscribed to this one for a while now and enjoy reading it! Let me start then.

-The cover/banner: The cover is good, in my opinion. It looks good. I'll use this space to talk about the very confusing description.

The description starts with talking about how to find a dragon. Then, it talks about how it is impossible to find a dragon for the common populace, and how the narrator never faced this issue because they already know one. Then comes this.

Step Two; Now that you've located your baby dragon

This can be pretty confusing. People decide whether they want to read the story from the cover and the description. Yours is pretty intriguing, but I think it needs to be crisper and more to the point. The description is fun but doesn't tell me anything about the story.

-How hooking the prologue is: It's pretty hooking. Though it feels like it is being dragged out at points, it is enjoyable overall. Same with the chapters ahead. They are pretty interesting.

-General story and/or artwork: There's not much I know about the story yet so I'll skip this.

-Style, tone, and setting: Now, I know that this is a first-person story with Julian driving most of the narrative with him speaking things out, there was just way too much telling. It feels like Julian is reading out most of the events and has is not exactly experiencing them. It's an interesting style, but it personally feels off to me, makes it feel a bit rough.

I'll skip the storytelling bit since I covered it above. Overall, I find it a very fun read and would recommend it to others as well. Keep up the great work!

[BOMB]

Pitch The Adventures of Danger Rabbit | Tapas

[renaissancebadger]

Ahh, your review is wonderful! Thank you so much!! I've been considering changing the description so that it's a little more clear about what the story is about, instead of just an excerpt from one of the chapters, so this is probably the push I need to do that. The points in the first chapter are absolutely dragged out, and he is sorta listing the events that have already happened. I'll admit to letting the prologue go a little too long on this one. The first two episodes are basically him catching you up on his life, then it gets into the nitty gritty of current events.

That being said, the first two episodes probably need to be reworked ^-^;

Thank you again, I really love a reviewer who wants to help people better their work instead of just being unnecessarily mean <3

[chestnutriceeee]

I'm glad you found the review helpful. I was worried about coming across as mean which I seem to have avoided, haha! That aside, I really do enjoy reading your work, and most of the stuff I said was just my opinion.

I'll push you on the description bit. But as far as reworking your first chapters go, there are surely a lot of people who enjoy the way you have written them and they also speak volumes about Julian as a character. Please keep this bit in mind before you decide to change the first chapters since they are pretty good as they are right now as well.

[chestnutriceeee]

I have 0 experience with poems, so I don't think I am anywhere qualified enough to give you a critique on this. I did enjoy reading them though. Keep up the great work!