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Oct 2017

I just want to check with you guys to see if you think my story in the beginning of my comic Bounter's Edge1has focus.

So the main character wants to be what is call bounter. That title means that you are a well known world wide explorer. With out being a bounter you aren't allowed to leave too far from home, due to the dangers. Being a bounter means you have the skills necessary to keep safe in the world.

It was looking like he'd never become one, but one day someone dropped their bounter's badge, each badge has a symbol that represents your group of bounter's. MC gets in trouble while having the badge and the whole group of people he doesn't know gets blamed. Through begs and pleads he is given a chance to be let off the hook if he's willing to escort a person with amnesia home, where hopefully their memory can return.

He now has to travel with a band of bounter's. He is now able to explore some of the world, but after this voyage he will have to work hard to become a bounter or risk never meeting the friends he makes along the way, and beautiful lands he sees ever again.

(this is for a comic)

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    Oct '17
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    Oct '17
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Hi Chronitis!. To make sure your plot is 100% solid, you need to answer these questions:

1-¿Why the main character wants to become a bounter?, ¿to explore the world?,¿curiosity?, ¿wants to escape his country?, ¿greed?, ¿wants to be like a famous bounter he admires?, ¿to impress a girl?,¿adrenaline junkie?, ¿other reason?,

2-So, your main character ends up with a bounter badge from another person and screws up so badly the organization he accidentally represents gets blamed. ¿Why would they ask him to escort the person with amnesia instead of a more qualified person?, ¿why would they forgive him?

3-¿Why would bounters let an inexperienced person to travel with them? , ¿is he talented?, ¿he has a skill/ability the team needs?, ¿he knows about a valuable bounty?. Friendship in this case, may not be a strong reason (especially if it`s dangerous for the protagonist to go with them).

4-¿What you have to do to become a bounter?, ¿go to a bounter school?, ¿be mentored by another bounter?, ¿do a special bounter test?

5-If the requisite is a test or going to bounter school, ¿why the main character is not doing these things?,¿did he failed and there`s not second chance?, ¿he is too poor to afford it?, ¿is against the law in the town/city/country he lives?, ¿he is too afraid?

I hope this helps.

Personally, I think it's a good story started.
If I had any advice, it'd be to focus on the characters and their reaction to the "Beautiful World" and not on world-building,
but it looks like you're already on this path. :stuck_out_tongue:

I would say cut the start where he finds it and get to the point of the adventure maybe a quick sniped or panel of him finding the badge, but that's it start with the interesting to get attention other than that,which is just my opinion, solid start man :thumbsup:

When you say "world wide explorer", do you mean on land or sea? I guess my first impression was that it was on sea, in which I thought "Why not just call them sailors?"...But I guess reread you didn't really address how they travel. I guess it is also helpful to know by what they travel with, caravan? Horses? Trucks? Boats? Airships? On foot?

What is the time period? Or does it take place in a fantasy world?