Sure, the (incomplete) list is as follows.
From The Girl From Tomorrow:
1. In Paragraph 2, the sentence "He spoke the truth..." has punctuation errors. If the comma were a semicolon or dash, you wouldn't have a comma splice. The existing semicolon doesn't work because the last clause is dependent; it can't stand by itself.
2. Also in Paragraph 2, you have a sentence that begins "Yet she spoke to him too..." Confident should turn into confidently because it needs to be an adverb.
3. The sentence I referred to in point 2 is a run-on sentence.
3. In the first sentence of Paragraph 4, you have a typo. Herr, I believe, has two r's.
5. Also in Paragraph 4, a correct sentence would read "It was more like a bark than genuine laughter..."
6. Paragraph 7 is a run-on sentence.
7. In Paragraph 10, the colon needs to be a semicolon.
From The Fly in the Windowsill:
1. The very first sentence is "There laid a dead fly in the windowsill...," and 'laid' should be 'lay.' Lay is the past-tense version of 'lie' while 'laid' is the past-tense version of 'lay.' You use 'lay' when something is acting upon the object, and lie when the subject is doing the action. In this case, the fly is the one doing the action (lying on the windowsill).
Hope that was helpful. I didn't mean to be too harsh, so please don't think I meant to be offensive.
