40 / 70
Jul 2021

The summary reads a little bit difficult for me, probably because it is one wall of text. I think breaking it up in two pieces can make it a little more clearer to read :+1:

Let's see...

A freedom fighter from 1919 Korea, Hae-eun, unexpectedly finds herself in the 21st century!
What's worse, she finds her country is still governed by a monarchy!

While she desperately tries to navigate her new world and find a way back home to her fiancé,
Hae-eun is faced with a dilemma: she must become an empress!
But will she make it back home, unscathed?

Just an example, but I broke it up in two parts and changed some minor things.

Hmmm both could use some work to be honest, but I'll focus on the second one.

You could make the summary a bit less crowded by breaking it apart in two parts. Content wise I think your summary contains everything I'd need as a reader: the main character and the plot that makes the story special, and stakes that come along with it.

Lia Lin Ai's life is abruptly taken away in an accident after a breakup, before a cupid offers her second chance at life. Accepting the offer, Lia Lin Ai's soul merges with the body of a girl with a similar name.

Is Lin Ai able to live this new life without access to her host's past memories? And how will she deal with old connections coming back into the picture?

Tried to write another version of the summary where I broke up the summary in two and changed it up a little.

Summary:

Olivia Flynn, 16 years old Swiss, moved to Japan due to her father's business. She was heartbroken from her misfortunes and came across the famous patisserie who tried to console her. What she didn't even know is, that patisserie guy is ACTUALLY her servant and as she met him, her life had turned 180 degree.

What's the story about:

This story is all about summoning the servants using gemstones and the servant fight with other servants and monsters to protect their master. The servant goes isekai from their fantasy world to the human world ( our world ) and the summoner can get the servant either from the internet at 3 a.m or come across them wandering. The people in human world ( our world ) form a pact between a human and servant and when that happens, the servant's vow to protect their master's life. If one of them dies, the other dies as well. Meaning, if the summoner dies, the servant dies and vice versa.

I love feedback.

Ahh I struggled so much on my summary :sob: I've changed it so many times yet I'm still not sure about it. Feedback on it will be very helpful!

Here's my story blurb, as I like to call it:

The vampire Ezekiel Blake has endured the last century in solitude, estranged from both the living and the undead. Disheartened and lonely, he partakes in art and theatre to restore his lost connection to humanity.

Thus, he arrives in Eidolon City, the home of the sorceress Angela Thorne. Sheltered by her overly protective uncle and haunted by a childhood tragedy, Angela has little control of her untrained magic. Ezekiel takes the young woman under his wing and teaches her how to control her powers. The two form a deep bond, and for just a moment, Ezekiel believes that his solitary life may have finally reached a turning point.

But that hope is shattered with the arrival of Ezekiel’s vampiric brethren.

Haven't gotten an actual review yet so, here goes.
Hope it's worth the read.

I've got 2 here. You can do both or just one.

Here's mine!

Here you go my friend.

Only 4 chapters and 3 pages to go to wrap it up. Give me your thoughts, baby!!!!

Oh great, I think my story summary had been ghosted. I was really expecting a critique and opinion about it. :frowning: :frowning:

Here we go! Short and sweet.

Here's mine.

Well sorry then for not writing reviews 24/7 :upside_down:

Reason being that I slowed down with reviews is that I'm on vacation for a week atm, and my internet connection isn't always stable. Hence why the critiques are not my priority at the moment.

I will get back to them, but you need to have a little patience. This is for free after all.

here's mine!

Alright, thank you for waiting. Let's see...

I think your summary content wise works fine, I'd mostly change up some things regarding the grammar and presentation of the summary. I would also use the present time in summaries, as using past tense might trick some readers into thinking that something in the story has already happened elsewhere and that they might have missed it.

When Olivia Flynn, a heartbroken 16 years old Swiss, moves to Japan, she comes across a famous patisserie that consoles her.

What Olivia doesn't know is that the patisserie guy consoling her is ACTUALLY her servant, and meeting him sets off a chain of events that turns Olivia's life upside down.

I changed the original summary up a little to make it easier to read