I do quite love the story - it's very nice.
Here are some recommendations to improve the writings.
No need to state time because evening is already stating the time.
Instead of evening time, just say evening.
No need to say the yellow, use yellow
.
Recommend to amend : However, my eyes were fixed on the setting sun. It was evening, with the occasional cold breeze in the air, just like the one that flew pass me for a second; the buildings covered by faint lights of yellow while the sky slowly changed its colour about half an hour ago.
The paragraph feels like there was too much description.
I entered the room, it was a simple room, bigger than the previous room, which could fit a bed and a wardrobe. (Trying to hide my annoyance/if he find it funny ) on top of the bed, occupying the space; lying on it was two person, a man and a woman. Both were wearing traditional clothes, the man wore a pair of kurta pajama while the woman covered herself with a dark green saree with a matching black head covering.
They looked compatible with each other, one relatively taller and slimmer while the other fatter but relatively shorter. (Like a whale and a giraffe etc) Both were smiling happily as they looked over at me, my father's brother and his wife. Technically my uncle and aunt.
should be nephew instead of son "So, nephew,..." - since the Aunt is calling out to the MC.
Aarti is tired from the journey - no need to mention all the journey
"Mom.."..."I always eat my veggies."
Try not to repeat the same words in the same paragraph
She then turned to her tea.... She then turned to the other cup
