I'm putting everything I make here

[JoshRaed]

The perfect friend part one

Warnings before you read this.

A child character briefly does something that resembles self-harm and technically is, but not really.It's brief and a small thing, but deliberately unsettling. A child is basically slut-shamed. A minor case of homophobia happen, and there is subtext kind of implying a serious hate crime. Also this story implies from almost the very start that serious child abuse is happening.

So... be wary of that. If you don't want to read a story like this, than avoid this.

What I want to know is, is this a good horror story? Does it sell you on the character of Carter, and make you want to see more of him? Would you read part two of this story based on this? Also does it sell the relationship between these two characters properly? Does the dialogue fit together? Are the horror movie references too overbearing?

[JoshRaed]

I drew this sketch today.

[JoshRaed]

I wrote this outline fragment:

?. The border between the two areas is an abandoned city. They find that it's where her mother used to live. Red tries to talk about it with him but he dodges the subject.

?. Electra studies the dome and starts to see a way to make a machine that will get them through.

?. Melancholia shows up and Nobody is finally strong enough to confront her now, and stops her.

?. They drive towards a place where they can get a necessary ingredient for it and end up in a cemetary where her mother is buried. Heiroe runs away and red forces him to try and confront this.

?. Heiroe has to see it, and they get into an argument.

This is just so other people can see my progress. I don't want feedback on this specifically.

[JoshRaed]

[Nugtown]

I'm so sorry I NEVER want to hear the words "child" and "slut" used in the same sentence. But carry on.

[IndigoShirtProd]

So, are you like... looking for a critique on this drawing?

[JoshRaed]

I kind of don't like that phrase "slut-shaming" because it uses the language of someone who would take part in this behavior, and also implies that it's target definitely is one when a lot of the time it can happen based on any number of things, like how in my story it's being applied to a 12 year old based purely on bigotry.

But there isn't really a well-known term for it that's better in this regard, so that's what I went with.

[JoshRaed]

Not really. I was told to make a progress thread so I made one.