So I'm about to release the first chapter of my story, the problem is im worried that it's not interesting enough to get people to carry on reading. The other problem is I can add the bit that makes it interesting for people to read but I don't really like long chapters, I think the chapters are a good place to give people a point where they can rest or read another chapter later.
The first chapter is below if you could tell me what you think that would be great
When I look back I try to figure out what happened that day, what went wrong, when did it all start? How could someone like ME be that stupid? A person who is cautious with everything I do. I mean you have to be when you do what I do. That day we should have never have gone to that island. None of us should have.
I remember when it all started, it started just like any other day at school. We were sitting at our desks as usual, I sat next to my best friend Ray, he was the party type, short blonde hair energetic person always cracking jokes and good with girls, unlike me, I had purple hair that made me stick out like a sore thumb, and I didn't really like to socialize with people, the less people the better. I would always choose where I was going based on how busy the place would be, or by how many people were there. When I think about it now it's strange how me and him became best friends, they do say opposites attract but I thought that was only for romance. Behind us sat the most beautiful person in the school Scarlett Springett, long pink straight hair, white pail skin and the perfect egg-shaped face. Okay maybe she wasn't that perfect but if you couldn't tell already I had a crush on her. The three of us had been friends ever since we met in high school, it just kinda happened.
We had just gotten our test results back from the other day.
"Jack, what did you get on your test?"
Ray was more interested in what I got on the test then what he did.
"Try taking a guess"
"A perfect score" scarlet said
"If you know what the questions are going to be who couldn't pass, right jack?"
"Ray even if you did have the questions I still don't think you would have got a good score"
"So then Jack, can you tell us how you did it?" Scarlett said.
Usually, I didn't like to brag but I thought this was my time to shine.
"I'll leave out the boring bits for you guys"
"You know how there the rumour going around that Mr Skidmarks has a foot fetish right. So I sent him an anonymous email saying I caught him on video sniffing one of the girl's socks. The file that he thought was a video file was my own program, when he clicked that link that was the end of it for him"
"I feel cheated man" Ray shouted.
"Well you have to Remember Ray he is the Infamous XXluffyking"
I hated that name, back when I was younger I loved watching anime, so when it came to making names I couldn't think of anything, the only thing that came to mind was my favourite anime character, but taken, everything was taken, so I added to XX to the name because that was the cool thing to do back then, and now everyone online knows this name so I have to stick with it.
"Please don't call me that, it's embarrassing, I thought putting xx in front of your name looked cool"
"You otaku nerd, you should help your friends like me get good grades"
Ray was pointing to himself.
I've tried helping ray in the past get good grades, but after trying for a while I realized it was a lost cause, so I tried changing the subject as soon as possible.
"Hey, Ray didn't you want to come over mine today?"
"Oh yeah I forgot, I wanted to show you something cool I found on the web, Scarlett did you want to come with us"
"I'm okay guys, ill let you two boys nerd it out yourselves, I don't know how you two can get so geeky over those computers"
"Says the person who is on their phone 24 hours of the day," Ray said.
"Ray is right, what's in your hand is basically a computer"
Ray whispered into my ear
"You know girls love it when you correct them"
I knew he was being sarcastic but he was right what I had done was stupid, so I left as soon as possible with ray and headed home.