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Jan 2016

Okay here's how the game works.
A person posts their newest comic page or a page they want critiqued. The object of the game is to identify the best panel on the page, and what's the panel that needs some work. Explain why or both. Then post your own page, with a short intro and a link. Then the next person reviews yours!

I'll start us off.

Here's a page from @Riana's Suihira2! Thanks for volunteering as tribute Riana!
3

Best Panel:
The last one. I love how the whole bottom image borders everything else. It sets the mood and tone of the page, and shows us how the character is going onto a huge journey. The composition is wonderful leading the eye into the wild blue yonder, and the color space gives us the feeling of a cool desert night. The stars are great, and those birds that fly in the distance lead the eye forward to the horizon, making the viewer wonder just what lies beyond it.

Needs Work:
2nd Panel on the left side. While this is drawn beautifully and you can see the determination on the characters face, this is a shot that's been used and reused quite a lot. It's cliche, but it's cliche for a reason - it works! While it looks great, I wish there was maybe a different angle, or a different way of showing that determination without going to the 'shurgs bag on shoulder with determined face mid-shot'.

Here's the most recent page from the comic my team and I work on called Kamikaze.

And now, it's your turn! blush

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    Jan '16
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    Jan '16
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Oooh this is an interesting and a bit difficult game o:<
It took me a while to figure out what to say about this page of Kamikaze. I hope it's all right I didn't read the pages surrounding it? I feel like I should have but I'm procrastinating studying for my exam tomorrow atm.

Best panel - second to last! The hand's in focus and being directed to do a no-no which is expressed by her reaction in the background. To be honest, I like the whole flow that leads up to it from when he requests the door be opened while he himself isn't visible. And then the mouths.

Least Best panel - second one mostly because I actually have something to say about it! (I'm honestly not feeling like I'm up for the task of critique yet but I want this game to live lmao) With the first panel showing a bird's eye view, it seems fitting to show Mr. Prisoner's cell from above too. The border separating the panels would then separate the rooms (tho the perspective would likely be slightly different). Lack of seeing his "sigh" reaction (lack of vocab on my part, apologies) is made up by his attitude displayed in the following three panels. I initially wanted to comment on that sequence instead but y'know I like seeing characters' expressions change.

Mine is Suck it!!2. I'm honestly not sure which one I'd want opinions on but here goes.

Ahh what a smart idea!
Best Panel: I definitely thought the 5th panel because the facial expression was just so on point. You really feel the energy and frustration, also the exaggeration is just at the point of still being believable/attractive. The characters are also positioned at a believable distance from each other while still having appealing composition. (The 2nd panel is rlly good for the same reasons.)
Needs Work: The very last panel, mostly because the school chair comes across huge and really messes with the perspective and general logistics of the scene. In the other panels it's clear the backrest of the chair is maybe an inch or two taller than the desk yet in this panel it's completely visible with extra poley thingies for show. It makes the character/desk in front of it seem really small. On the flip side it seems like the person behind it is smaller than what would be good perspective wise.
Personally I think everything would work better (perspective/composition) if you lower the backrest of the chair and the character while simultaneously making them a bit bigger so their taking up the space left by the chair.
God it was hard to figure out a page but hopefully this one was agood choice. From my comic Glamour!1

What a wonderful critique @zetina! Thank you so much! I'm actually glad that you didn't read the context of the surrounding pages, because it means the page has to speak more for the viewer to understand it! You did beautifully! I'm really glad you mentioned that second panel. I agree with you. It probably would read better from overhead, because at least then you could see where the 'thump' would be coming from. I think if we do revisions on this page I might at the very least put a little impact behind Orson's head. That way you can see what's causing that 'thump'.

Thanks a bunch! The last panel really did bother me so it's great to get specific pointers on what to change =v=/
(also was gr8 to hear about the character distance and expressions dayum)

@Kamikaze I'm glad I was able to do a satisfactory job ;v; Now that you mention it, I really wasn't sure what the "thump" was about but figured I either was missing context or it was standing in for a "slump" sfx like when sighing and slumping the shoulders, haha <'D