Let's talk about love

[NatashaBrown1]

If you've been my Tapas profile (Natasha Morland), you'd known that I am a big fan of Jane Austen. I love how in every book Miss Jane could just depict romance simply and directly I mean, isn't love supposed to be sincere and truthful? I know in real life things can get ugly and complicated. But, still, I believe love shouldn't be complicated. I believe true love is not from a kiss, but from a truthful sincere heart A relationship that is built upon carnal desire is never going to sustain any longer than a relationship built with a union of two genuine passionate hearts. Perhaps I may be too young or too childish to say these words, but this is what I believe. What do you guys think?

[dawgofdawgness]

I'm horrible at trying to understand what genuine romance and love is like, so I watch a bunch of Ted talks about relationships to gain insight in the most robotic way possible

[Kura]

IRL I'm pretty much the worst at stuff like this.

I have no idea how I hold a relationship, as pretty much everything I do is the wrong thing. I guess that means I'm good looking or something cause I really can't think of any other reason they put up with my dumb ass doing everything wrong.

Reading... I don't get it... I just... really don't get how some relationships depicted in writing or TV possibly work. While the few characters I think would work for relationships never actually get into relationship because... reasons I guess.

Writing... RIP me, I have to pretend I know what I'm talking about. Though there have no complaints from the reads so far so I guess I'm doing it right?

[beta1042]

Nah it's waaaaaay more simple than that

It's like when you get so comfortable with someone that things you'd normally consider offensive that would be a major turn off just don't matter anymore cause you love them.

Example:
You're peacefully lying in bed together and they roll over and fart in your general direction and all you do is snort in laughter at the situation.

[Jenny-Toons]

I mean...when I write about love, I usually just go with what I know and what I've seen.

Growing up, I've see all types of love -- family love, platonic love between friends, romance, crushes. I've experienced all of them except falling in love with someone romantically (I've had crushes, but they weren't on that level). I still feel that the love I have experienced has given me a lot of wiggling room to write for it.

Currently, I'm creating my comic "Our Universe", and I see a lot of the love I've experienced within that. My two protagonists love each other deeply, but there's more to it than just romance. The ladies love each other as friends as well. They're equals but they're also their own persons. I feel I kinda pull some of their aspects from the love I've seen between my aunt and uncle. Just being in each other's presence, enjoying each other's company, laughing and smiling and crying with each other. Being vulnerable and knowing you're in good hands with each other. Things like that.

But lo key, it's also like Beta says -- true love, romantic or otherwise, comes with the silly things, like laughing at someone's corny jokes or groaning amused when they let one loose. I kinda prefer true love to be silly than serious and poetic all the time. Like, it's nice, but I also just wanna see two people chill in stupid x-mas pjs and watch cheesy horror B-movies together.

[NatashaBrown1]

@dawgofdawgness ofdawgness Awwwww I think you'll know it when you've found the one

[NatashaBrown1]

@Kura Never give up You may learn from the process. But I get what you're saying. Yeah, sometimes love is difficult to understand let alone to say finding it.

[NatashaBrown1]

@beta1042 Yeahhhhhhh It's like the list of your "Prince Charming Criteria" isn't that important anymore. Because it's not the things on the list you love but the person.

[silverraven0]

I ain't think I could ever love anyone, but in a simple way, love, no matter how it forms, is still love for me (I don't mean to say the "love" by force etc is love. It is not love, only obsession).

I would say that love on first sight is bulls*it, because you only see the outer part of your love interest, but if you get to know them more deeply and accept them and they accept you however you are on the inside, that is what I call true love.

[unknown_user]

It's like when you get so comfortable with someone that things you'd normally consider offensive that would be a major turn off just don't matter anymore cause you love them.

Example:You're peacefully lying in bed together and they roll over and fart in your general direction and all you do is snort in laughter at the situation.

It seems like I've never had true love

A relationship that is built upon carnal desire is never going to sustain any longer than a relationship built with a union of two genuine passionate hearts.

Relationships are... very multifaceted.
To be honest, my relationships with the current boyfriend have began with a... pretty ugly situations, and me being an asshole in a bunch of ways. I initially had no plans on him besides having yet another random sex with yet another good looking guy for distracting myself and forgetting about my inner void for a moment (sorry for being poetic). I had no idea that we will be together for years, he will make for me more good things than anyone, and it will change me and make me less hostile to people in general.
Why have it turned to be this way? I'm not sure. Probably because we have close interests, worldview and convictions (but his are more positive) and understand each other in enough degree to have productive communication and continue to support each other in hard times. And yes, also of course because he is calm and tolerable person.

[SleepingPoppy]

Me:

[joannekwan]

Example:You're peacefully lying in bed together and they roll over and fart in your general direction and all you do is snort in laughter at the situation.

Or even better, you wave it in their face so they know how bad it is too.
SHARING = LOVE

[beta1042]

well yeah, that's just common courtesy

[ISNEKO]

About the closest I get is saying, "what is love?" over voice chat and hoping someone says the next line.

[SleepingPoppy]

(I'm sorry )

[mariusthered]

bla! love! a vile virus much like a common cold.
the worse thing about love is nobody really knows the real thing.
those who get real love often don't know what they have until they loose it.
people longing for love are often so desperate for it they are sucked in by people who will use them only to cast them aside when they have all they wanted.
and those who are hurt by love are changed in a way that trust can never be given to that vile emotion again.
as for relationships, I think the biggest problem with this world is everybody works too fast. they dive into things wanting instant gratification, lust in the guise of love. and then just move on to the next one when the relationship falls apart.
romantic love is about as trust worthy as a toddler with a switch blade.
but there are more stable versions of love. a love between a dog and his master can always be trusted, treat the dog right and it will never leave and always be there by your side. 99% of the time a love between mother and child is genuine love, a mother will always be there for you no matter how old you are.
this is why I call love a virus, it is as changeable as a common cold and you never know when your going to catch it!

[yozhikisblue]

You know- I think it's interesting to hear Jane Austen mentioned in that context because I always felt her depictions of love had this politely restrained quality that I assume came with the time period and social class she was writing about (not to mention general censorship in publishing). To be honest, as great of a writer as she is, and as shrewd as her work may be about laying bare the flaws of her social milieu, I couldn't help but feel the romances in her books actually didn't feel very genuine (feel free to disagree with me though- there's certainly a lot of different kinds of relationships out there...)

Plus there's my personal experience to consider...and based on that, "true love" seems to be built on two things: being able to be totally honest and upfront with each other- and (this closely follows) being the same kind of crazy so you not only accept that honesty, but totally get it too, no matter how strange x')

[kimketli]

same. :DDD (and plus one sentence, because it will be too short for Tapas :D)

[SleepingPoppy]

[mariusthered]

id rather have a cold shower and a box of choccys thanks