Link me your series and I will critique it

[purrlpankras]

If you have time, you could review Two Faced

[dsptss78]

I will definitely take your advice and use it to improve my webcomic. This is my very first webcomic and I am really thankful you took the time to look into my comic and critique it. Your advice is very solid and insightful and I learned a lot from it.

[Stargazer31]

Realmwalker: Saga of Frost | Tapas

[cosmicnano11]

Story
You have set up a very intriguing premise, good storytelling almost like chess, you have to set up the pieces first and then the real fun is in how you move those pieces to advance the plot. I'm going to touch more on this plot progression in the character section. But something that keeps the readers invested is a clear objective or end goal. Obviously you don't need to reveal that in a rushed fashion but in a timely manner because us readers are almost like shareholders, we invest in the story depending on the value that we see we are going to get out of it. For example, My Hero Academia got so many people invested because it is made clear that Deku's end goal is becoming the greatest hero and mastering the one for all quirk. We invest because the payoff will be worth it. So in a more simple way of speaking, your objective should be to get the readers invested by wetting our appetite and letting us see what the light at the end of the tunnel might be in some shape or form.
Art
The line work is somewhat scratchy and detracts a bit from the quality. I don't know why I'm full of analogies today haha, but this is almost like the construction of a building, the base or the foundation needs to be strong and well planned. The same way, to create higher quality art, we need to make a good foundation first. So strong and clear sketching will help, nice and clean lines will then boost the rest of the piece. I'd say take time to practice your line art by just drawing your characters in black and white. Try and create dynamic drawings through this method and your main series will benefit seeing as your quality and speed will most likely increase.
Characters
I believe one of the comments touched upon this, but although the character personalities are well defined, what we need to see (as I'm sure you know) is motivation. Any action we humans take has a motivation. We clean our room because we like having everything organized or because we want to impress someone or even as a part of mental therapy. Going back to the chess pieces I mentioned at the beginning, anybody can play a game of chess but that doesn't mean they are going to play it well or move the pieces in the best way. Sometimes taking the time to set up the motivation before hand might not be the most pleasing thing to the writer but to the readers it gives them a clearer image of the character. Of course this isn't an exact formula so you don't always need to reveal motivation before hand so you experiment as you go on.
Conclusion
The story has potential and I hope to see some interesting developments with the plot and the characters. I give this comic a 7/10! I hope to see you around in the future.

[lauragarcia511]

Thanks for the feedback!

[Nin]

Hi!
Nice topic!
Here is my novel:

Diaries of a Fighter | Tapas

[PapaDom]

Thank you for the review and especially for the tips.

it almost reminds me of one punch man.

Funnily enough, one punch man helped me improve half of my writing.

I found the hair unique but at the same time I felt that it got a bit in the way of the story being grounded. If this is what you are aiming for then that's good or may just be me being nit picky.

I got mixed reactions from the hair between "I like the hairstyle" to "But why thou?" So don't worry about being nit picky.

I don't know if English isn't your first language

Yeah, English is actually my second language, but I try to improve it over time. And thanks for the offer to spell check. It's good to know that I have somebody to help me if I ever need help.
Thanks again and keep up the good work my friend.

[cosmicnano11]

Story
Pretty standard concept with the genie girl being freed from her service. I do find that the introduction could've been expanded upon a bit more to help us settle into this world. In terms of the storytelling throughout the chapters I find it a quite confusing at times. It almost feels like panels are missing from the chapters to complete the story. In terms of what could help you in this aspect is to think about the fact that you in your head already know whats happening but the reader has no idea what you are thinking, so they need clear information to get to the correct conclusion. This may mean adding panels which prepare for subsequent actions taken. For example, if a character answers their phone, add a panel before showing the phone ringing in their pocket. As readers we also want to immerse ourselves in what we are reading, whether this be a form of escapism or just entertainment we put aside time and even energy to do so. So I think it's vital that you help the reader to understand a bit about the world, for example the first chapters show us the main guy working in an office, which seems normal. But then a skeleton appears and a genie as well with no real cohesion. So I suggest that whether it be in this series you are working on, or on the next series you make, take time to communicate to the reader what type of world this is.
Art
If you look at the feedback I gave in other people's Art review in this thread you will find points that I think apply to your series as well. Things like your anatomy and line art need work, take time to practice and experiment and you will get exponentially better. Obviously you change your artstyle at comedic moments which can be funny so that's okay.
Characters
I would've liked to see some after effects the genies personality after being a genie for so long. For example she could have the tendency to put others interests ahead of her own in an excessive way. You don't need to go over the top with it but these sorts of things build a personality. In terms of the dialogue take a little more care with it to avoid mistakes. Although the readers know these works produced are fiction, we still want to almost believe that characters could logically exist in the right circumstances. So taking care with the dialogue helps create believable characters.
Conclusion
The series has a nice concept and has plenty of room for growth. Be careful not to fall into the trap of overusing certain jokes. Or if you want to bypass this trap you can use the same jokes but give new spins on it that are surprising. I give this series a 5/10!

[cosmicnano11]

Super sorry for the delay
Story
I really like the intro with the goddesses, it creates a nice sense of mystery which leaves the reader wanting more (at least in my case). I've only read up until chapter 3 so I'm using the first 2 chapters as base for review. I look forward to seeing how you'll tie the main three characters into the bigger plot. I can't find anything to complain about which would be considered major in terms of the story-telling so well done on the aspect. Without knowing what you plan in the future of the series, I'd really like to see some subverting of expectations or tropes (when it obviously fits the story and not just to subvert). As readers we want something familiar yet refreshing which is why a lot of the times series that take inspiration from other
popular series tend to become popular easier.
Art
The artstyle was very endearing, one thing I'd like to just mention is to be careful not to go overboard with lights and shadows. Sometimes going overboard can give a very plastic feel to the characters. A bonus of keeping this in mind is that you'll save more time in a way. Another aspect I feel is that the characters expressions could be taken up a notch, this will help to convey the story better. For example in the fight in chapter 2 where an ice golem goes behind El, you can see El looking at it but she doesn't look bothered, it was a very neutral expression. These little things help communicate the situation better.
Characters
The characters are very likeable and play well off of eachother. I enjoyed the banter between them! Something I hope to see in the future would be some backstory to each of them which helps see why they are who they are and a deeper reason or motive as to why they are going ahead with this plan. The old man from the dojo I feel could be given some more nuance as a character maybe a phrase he likes to repeat or something.
Conclusion
I really enjoyed what I read so far and look forward to seeing where the story is heading after they collect the three artifacts. If you refine the little details, it culd really become an amazing series. I give your comic a 8.5/10! Great work.

[IndigoShirtProd]

Thanks for the review I really appreciate the feedback!

Sometimes going overboard can give a very plastic feel to the characters.

Yea I agree. I really like doing lighting effects so sometimes I have too much fun. I'm slowly editing previous pages and being more wary of that for the future.

Another aspect I feel is that the characters expressions could be taken up a notch, this will help to convey the story better. For example in the fight in chapter 2 where an ice golem goes behind El, you can see El looking at it but she doesn't look bothered, it was a very neutral expression. These little things help communicate the situation better

Another point of agreement! I do need to practice my expressions. It's just for me, sometimes I want to stay on model, but in the end that hurts the story. Oh and Elliot's a guy

The old man from the dojo I feel could be given some more nuance as a character maybe a phrase he likes to repeat or something

Oh he's going to get some nuance

Again thank you, and I appreciate the high score and I hope you continue reading the future!

[alliciedragal]

I just published the first chapters of my novel, and I am looking forward for some feedback.
Here is the link!

The Creator's Descendants | Tapas

[simplykit]

would you kindly ...

Blood Soul Buffet | Tapas

appreciate it much

[cosmicnano11]

Story
The story is very simple for now which is a good start. In the summary, it mentions something about the arrest of ChoA's father. I think it would be nice to hear some hints at it in the early chapters, whether it be someone else mentioning it or the main girls inner monologue.
Art
The art is excellent, in general it's much better than anything I could pull off. One thing I noticed just to take a little care with is that panel borders have sometimes been erased a bit or the panel contents are coming out of the panel. It's just something to keep in mind. I'd really like to see you experiment with the expressions the characters make (as long as they fit the character). Expressions are a great way of story telling and character building that often is underused. I noticed you used it quite a bit in certain scenes which was very effective. Where it is suitable go a bit more wild with the expressions.
Characters
The main girl has a good base character established. I think you should focus a bit on letting the reader see the layers to her character. Right now she seems a bit one dimensional which is normal for characters that are starting out. Something like, what does she like to do, academic interests, music interests, past traumas. We are attracted to multi-layered characters (in most cases) because we find it interesting to try and understand their psyche.
Conclusion
So far you have done well in establishing the the characters. Make sure to keep the reader in mind as you write the story, in other words, keep in mind what information the reader has up until now and use that information to pull them along. Your series has a lot of potential, I'm looking forward to more and give it a 8.5/10

[uglygirlnextdoor]

I am actually curious.
Be warned it is written as an epic poem,
so here is the link, let's hear what you think about it:

When Death meets Chaos | Tapas

[sphynx_99]

Oh, I really like this! If you have the time, can you do my novel as well? The finale will be there soon, so don't feel obligated to read all of the chapters!

A Cinderella story - untold files - | Tapas

Thank you so much!

[Neverseen]

https://tapas.io/series/The-Mortals-Plight. Ignis Somnia is fire sleep in Latin no?

[cosmicnano11]

The somnia part means dreams, so it's "The fire of dreams". Thanks for the concern though

[Neverseen]

No concern just curious.

[GGOkumura]

Awesome! Here's mine

Code: Youkai | Tapas

[WoollyPAR]

Any critiques would be epic, thank you!

Cat Club | Tapas