We all have moments were we wished we'd handled things differently. (Myself included!)
Agreed. But while I don't think Neko was rude, persay, I think they were making an in-joke, and I can see (without excusing) why that would make the OP feel defensive, and contribute the the overall direction of the thread.
And it's very likely OP would have acted this way regardless, hence why I said "mixed feelings" and not "we're being jerks". We're not being jerks, its just not the best example of us handling this kind of thing. XD
It really is better if you ask for a collab with a little bit of info about yourself, what you want, and what you've done. Artists want to gage their interest before they PM you for more information. I genuinely suggest you check out some of the collab info boards, as they can be really helpful in attracting people to a collab. And I must also suggest keeping a cooler head- even if you feel someone was rude to you first, sometimes the best response is "kill them with kindness"! Mostly the people here are very nice, and really love to help new creators.