Looking for feedback for my book

drbwp4 2025-02-14 17:59:26 UTC #1

Hello, I am looking for some honest feedback on my book. I plan on sending it to a proofreader soon, and want it to be as ready as possible for that. Thank you!

Kittykir1129 2025-02-15 23:38:57 UTC #2

I'm not sure what kind of feedback you're looking for... I read up to episode 11, so this is based on that.

Good:
*Quick action - you don't drag it out too much
*Most things are spelled right

Needs Work:
*Lacks focus - it takes too long to hint at what the story goal is and by Ep 11 we still don't know (this will cause your readers to lose interest cuz they don't know what they're investing in)
*You probably need some copy editing before proofreading. Proofreading is mostly, but not limited to, grammar, punctuation, and spelling and is usually the last step you take. Copy editing, to oversimplify it, is structuring to make it sound good and engaging.

drbwp4 2025-02-16 16:31:50 UTC #3

My proofreader that I found does all of that, but I will check with him just in case. Thank you for the feedback. I had the goal clear in my first draft, but didn't like how I wrote it so I cut it. I will find a way to add it back.

NewAgeComics 2025-02-16 20:49:05 UTC #4

Hello
I read the first chapter of your novel and I think it's pretty good. the only thing is.... Although maybe it's just me but I think you could have used a bit more pronouns. Like rather than say the witch boy all the time, you can use "He" where necessary.
Maybe this is just in this first chapter but it's good. Good start

drbwp4 2025-02-17 15:27:43 UTC #5

Yes, I’ve noticed that too. Haha, I used to have the opposite problem so I think I overcompensated. Thank you for the feedback. I’ll look through it again and try to fix it.

drbwp4 2025-02-17 20:05:59 UTC #6

If you keep reading, please let me know if you notice it in the later chapters, because I thought I had fixed it. Maybe it was that one chapter, but I really appreciate getting that pointed out.

NewAgeComics 2025-02-17 20:10:41 UTC #7

Sure. Maybe I'll read your recent chapters to see if you've dealt with that already

drbwp4 2025-02-17 21:07:15 UTC #8

Hello, so I was rereading your advice and thought of something. Episodes 1-4 are a prologue of sorts. Do you think it would help if I took those out?