Critique
Read the first two chapters and a bit of the last chapter to get a sense of the story and your prose! There's a great basis for an exes to lovers narrative here and I think the added mystery as to why Salem left adds a level of intrigue other than "how are these characters going to get together" so I think the premise is strong!
Short and direct prose is great, but it also has specific purpose. Right now, everything is short cut off sentences. Very direct. Super impactful. But it's used so often. Very often. Like 80% of the writing.
Jokes aside, careful not to overuse the tool because it can take away from the impact of the technique and it can also leave for a lot of room for interpretation in a reader's mind that can be changed by you in later chapters that make them go "wait but I didn't imagine it like that".
Just because it's something I read fairly recently, Rachel Reid's "Heated Rivalry" is a good example of shorter style prose that doesn't overdo it. Nothing is long and drawn out or flowery, it's very cut and dry telling you what's happening but it also allows moments and characters to breathe. When the prose is really short, it feels like we're constantly taking small gasps of air and it can be a little exhausting to read.
I will also say that I enjoy the dialogue! It feels very chummy, like kids their age would. Kudos, keep that up!
On a note totally unrelated to the writing itself but...I hope that's not an AI cover? Given how the community in general is, they are less likely to WANT to read something with AI's prints on it, even if it's just the cover. Also, the cover is missing the title which I do think is something that Tapas usually requires in order for them to consider featuring your story.
Sorry this got super long, but all in all I think you have a great basis to work off of and the stuff you've written is good! I just think being more considerate of story moments and how the style of writing can affect how a moment is laid out is important.
Totally optional to read/critique my comic, but if you do I have a couple notes:
I've gone back and redid a few of the earlier chapters so things will look super polished and then really ugly depending on how far you read lol
I have gotten critiques in the past, however they're usually related to the first few chapters so I am well aware of those faults! Not saying don't read them, but I would appreciate any critique that isn't related to the pacing of the first few episodes or how there are too many characters introduced at once. And I acknowledge and appreciate those critiques! They just won't be helpful to hear them for the 20th time if that makes sense? Nothing personal, just not helpful for an episode I wrote 4-5 years ago at this point lol
The comic is fairly episodic. If you want to read Episodes 1-4 just to get the gist of the characters and then jump to different missions, feel free to do so! You just may miss any fun callbacks or character moments is all lol
ok without further ado, here's the link: https://tapas.io/series/7ssc/info
