Round 7
LIM
I have to say that having one's own website augments the reading experience tenfold. I'm sad to see that it has largely gone out of style for the majority of comics out there. It's a whole separate dimension of immersion on its own. For me, there was a very distinct difference in quality and effect--in regards to the reading experience--between your Tapas site and your own custom site. Your site is far superior, but I imagine you already knew this.
Goals:
Your goals sound rather experimental as opposed to aspirational--most of those who have submitted their work for review usually say that improvement or something akin to recognition. I imagine you have the same, but I do find it interesting that your spoken goal was to explore a specific format and genre of comic. That's why I'll be talking about that more, here. It's hard to evaluate that in any quantifiable way other than to confirm that the experiment is indeed having an effect. I for one both enjoyed the format on its own merits and, to my own surprise, ended up deeply appreciating the thematic effect it had on the reading experience.
There is something about the deliberate stretch of white that not only (obviously) gives an isolated and "lost" feeling, but, more interestingly, but perhaps also not surprisingly, has a dramatic effect on the timing of every single page. After I finished a first run through, I went back and confirmed my suspicion--the comic was definitively worse and less effective. I don't know if this has a name, but in my head, I called it an Echo Effect. Whenever I read the dialogue or looked at one of the smaller scenes, the space between that and the next instance gave the irrational impression that the words, or the sounds of the scene, were echoing for a significant stretch of time. That granted the comic a shocking amount of power, even to, as you call them, the DUMBEST jokes you've ever told.
So yes. Yes, your experiment is working marvelously. I think the formatting is providing an X Factor that dramatically augments the reading experience, and I think that while your comic ultimately leans rather heavily on that effect, it is a worthy support.
Art:
There isn't much to say on the Art, but there's a specific reason for that. For one, the style is not conducive to finding too many issues beyond fundamentals, which are clearly not a problem at all. The only things I might ever have to say are that the tears of the Balloon Monger in Chapter 18 don't look much like tears, stuff like that. Rather meaningless if you're not a perfectionist.
It works, that's the main point to mention. You went for cute, dark, and silly, and I can confirm with confidence that you've achieved cute and silly. The two heroes are not only delightfully adorable and endearing, but they have a tremendous amount of visual chemistry. The black and white juxtaposition is obvious, yes, but the pairing of a dove (?) with an otherworldly Shape is, to pull my English degree nonsense out for a second, at once shocking and reassuring. A pure and emblematic image of the natural world, of the beauty of the natural world, the purity, is partnered with the unknowable, shifting, murky, yet endearing avatar of the unknown, supernatural world. I'll be more insufferable in the Writing portion.
If I have a complaint, it is that the design choices you've made--with the extremely notable exception of the Mask--seem surprisingly "safe." The baby Horror looks as a baby Horror should look. The "weird" outsider civilians such as the Monger and the Bankers look appropriate. Even the Elder Horrors look about right. This may not be a problem, but your insistence on tone compels me to firmly say that not once throughout the experience did I feel anything other than cute and silly. The search for the "dark" component is fruitless, and that is largely due to the "right," "appropriate," and "safe" design of every single element. There is no undercurrent of menace or unknown here. It's all known.
Now, this may not be a problem at all; that's for you to measure and balance. All I can say is that the visuals have a Hallmark Card or PBS After-School-Special feel to them.
Writing:
That judgement is somewhat undermined by the very vague traces of plot and the intriguing choice of voice.
I'll start with the voice. When I say that, I'm talking almost exclusively about the dove. My favorite page, by a HUGE margin, is your very first page. I can't say enough about it. There's so much pedantic BS I could spout about how good it is. It's the perfect existential summation. On a more relevant note, it perfectly encapsulates your desired tonal and visual complement--it is adorable and it is dark, and the perfect balance achieved between the two makes it hilarious and goofy. If I could say anything about the rest of the comic, I'd say that this page should be in your mind every time you make another.
This isn't to suggest that Lil' Horror is a drag. On the contrary, I have nothing to complain about in this department--you do as you set out to do--in a general sense. Each page is always cute, mostly goofy, and seldom dark. I mentioned the Mask before, and you no doubt already know this, but that page sticks out quite a bit. We're going to dip back into Art a bit here, but it will help illustrate (pun intended) my meaning: compare Mask to Call. In Mask, we have a goofy moment witnessed by a genuinely unnerving--but in no way offputting--entity. In Call, we have Lil' Horror interacting with a very appropriately designed Elder Horror. The plots of both pages are effective, but the design DIRECTLY changes the presentation, and therefore the plot. The fuzzy feeling I had seeing the Mask bear witness to the cutesy protags was totally absent from the Call. The Call's plot was eclipsed, if it had any beyond "introduce that there are Elder Horrors."
This may or may not have something to do with the Lil' Horror's general nonchalance. When he looks at the camera with a frustrated look, I was once again taken out of things. For comparison, if the Elder Horror looked less familiar, if the atmosphere was just a bit more menacing, and if the Lil Horror was more in awe--or, maybe even better, disappointed/sheepish--then I think the thrust of the page would have been successful.
I think this is my concern in general. It's more a concern for the future than of the present. I'm not saying that the cuteness and the darkness are significantly getting in each other's way, but I can see how they could. I didn't feel that way until I saw the Call page. This is relevant insofar as you've expressed interest in getting incrementally more plot dependent.
Summation:
You are achieving your goals, and your "experiment" is working. Your format gives you real power. Your art is adorable, but it's safe. The real impact you want will be handicapped by safer, more "familiar" designs. It works for main characters, because it functions as a good anchor for the eye, but for the strange, mysterious world around them, you need a bit more strangeness and mystery. Otherwise, your clever dialogue and your genuinely intriguing breadcrumb plot will get declawed. I subscribed, so I have faith you'll make it work in the end.
