Mentor Character Appreciation (Or Depreciation?!) Show off your mentor OCS!

[ArtGremlin]

Imagine you're new in town and everyone in town afraid of this baby-faced guy though

You may be psychic because that’s exactly how the story starts! It introduces Felix through this new guy coming to town and challenging him to a game of poker, not understanding the power he holds over everyone there. I can actually send you a link to the first chapter if you’re interested in reading it. I have 11 chapters of it up on this particular website (we’ll see if I ever end up putting it on Tapas. Maybe when I’ve actually figured out the ending my problem is that I just want to keep going but I need to stop agh) https://unvale.io/world/3b787879-8fe3-4bcb-a070-526aadc7188e?writing=3c2bdc76-daed-4de0-bda9-03ca8bd5cf55 warning, some chapters may not be entirely up to date on grammatical/error fixes unfortunately

[beebutterbee]

@vapidink Ebay is so good for finds like that! I feel like I never really have to pay full price for something if I just get it second hand. And I probably need to pick up the manga to see all these little comments, I’ve only ever watched the anime but Armstrong is great!! I actually love wacky character designs too xD I feel like he’s in his own category he’s just that special.

And omg! The student appears aww Aster looks so tiny, and he seems pretty studious but I see one of his mentors in the corner looking pretty grumpy xD is he actually slacking off reading for fun instead of learning what he should be?

@ArtGremlin Oh no my psychic powers have been revealed But omg yeah I’ll give it a read after work!! You could also post it on ao3 if you don’t feel like it’s ready enough for tapas? I would love to follow it if it was posted here though! >:3 Also maybe it’s just a longer story if the ending doesn’t seem near?

[ArtGremlin]

I’ve looked at ao3 before but I didn’t really understand the site tbh it also seemed like it was more meant for fan stories rather than original works.
The problem with the ending is that I’m trying to figure out how to give it a satisfying resolution, but avoid endlessly writing about the characters’ entire lives

[vapidink]

I used to but the manga when it was still being serialized so I have most of the volumes and the little notes give me life. I'm collecting the Spy X Family manga right now and same with the notes on that one. There's also early concept art of the characters that's pretty cool to see. My fav wacky designs are from Jo Jo's though, lol.

He's reading things he's not supposed to because it's dangerous/secret but his teacher fails at hiding that sorta stuff.

[beebutterbee]

@ArtGremlin Just read the first chapter!! I liked it, it was sort of like reading a screenplay the way it was written out. I love how Felix is actually 25, going on 26, I thought he was like 20-21 he truly is babyfaced. I wonder what's going to happen to that dude Bruno tho... bad luck approaches, oh no? I guess I'll find out in the later chapters, I'll give them a read later this week ^_^

And I'm unfamiliar with unvale website! First time seeing it actually I had no idea it existed! I was thinking of putting my own fiction on ao3, they have a spot for original works, but most of my friends are on there so that's how I know about it xD

Hmm... maybe its time to plot some outlines if you're looking for the perfect ending? Brainstorming what the entire story looks like before writing the entire thing really helps, just think of it as the Lite version of your story It can be just quick bullet points per chapter, but seeing it condensed really helps you see the overall picture.

@vapidink I bet I can find the individual copies at my library! That way I won't miss out on the little comments lol. AND Omg Jo Jo has the best wacky designs, truly. Their designs are a big inspiration for me actually!

And Aster!!! Stop reading the secrets of necromancy you're gonna get into more trouble than just a scolding from Adamos xD

[ArtGremlin]

Thanks <3

it was sort of like reading a screenplay the way it was written out.

Yeah, that makes sense, because I did originally write it out even more like a screenplay before, then went back and edited it all to be more like a book. I suppose some of screenplayishness still remains. I’m not sure if I like that or not, or how I would fix it. Maybe it has something to do with how I wrote it in present tense 3rd person perspective?

[beebutterbee]

I think I like the screenplay style though, it gives it more edge than something more traditional? I also used to write in a similar style, especially when I was using it as a script for my own comics! It’s a fun style to write in and I think it’s especially good for really dialogue heavy stories

And I think the perspective and tense are just fine! If you want the book to read more like a traditional novel, you could try to give sensory clues to the environment? Like what does the casino smell like? Is it stuffy from cigars, or is strangely sterile and smells of Pinesol? XD details like that really help flesh out the world too. It can also be visual, like do the lights flicker when Felix enters the room? Stuff like that >:3

But overall it was an enjoyable story, it really had a deranged vibe almost but I was totally here for it xD I’m gonna have fun reading a chapter a day this week (or I guess a long week since I have 9 chapters to catch up on lol)

[ArtGremlin]

Thanks! I’ve actually finished up to chapter 17 just haven’t posted them there yet.

If you want the book to read more like a traditional novel, you could try to give sensory clues to the environment

Maybe I’ll do that someday I’d probably get around to that if I ever had the notion to attempt publishing it (which definitely won’t be for a long while if ever) but it’s definitely something to consider.

It’s a fun style to write in and I think it’s especially good for really dialogue heavy stories

It is indeed a very dialogue heavy story, since the plot is mostly carried out by the two mcs talking. But I do feel like I could be better at describing the scenery that’s something to work on I suppose.

[sophialyn]

That’s a very kind theory, but she is definitely immature by choice
In fact she weaponizes being a child, but in a way, a childlike outlook on the world can make a wonderful mentor

[beebutterbee]

@ArtGremlin Yeah just things to think in the future, but just have fun with it now! Go off on a crazy tangent, there’s no one grading you, you know? XD if you ever want to publish you’ll have a whole story ready for you to edit. I think the best thing though is just getting the words on paper! Or… screen? I guess lol

@sophialyncoleman Oh no I was really trying to give her some credit Well maybe her unique perspective can help, sometimes kids say the most profound things by just pointing out observations that adults tend to ignore!