"Muting is self care"

jmhenry 2021-07-14 23:15:04 UTC #32

I'll be honest, this I actually get and have recently gone through on twitter. several posts in a single thread each time they got guest art, meanwhile 5 promised on my end and all five ghosted by the deadline. It was kinda demoralizing, but I never really unfollowed or muted them, just scrolled on and continued with the day. It was probably done to get more people on board with it anyway, can't really harsh on a strat if it's working for them

joannekwan 2021-07-14 23:19:50 UTC #33

Motivation to do better is all well and good, but sometimes that 'better' is limited by a person's physical capabilities. They might not be able to produce work at a rate or quality that can rake in the subs.

So is it so bad for them to put blinders on to ignore all the great work they cannot achieve and just focus on themselves and what they can achieve with their limitations?

jmhenry 2021-07-14 23:33:06 UTC #34

Dunno. I've been speaking in generals the entire time. Naturally, it gets harder to say when you have to account for every individual person's situation. You just don't know. My point in general is that there's healthier ways to handle feelings like that than muting or unfollowing friends. Any more specific, and we're just splitting hairs

indagold 2021-07-14 23:34:50 UTC #35

I'm the opposite, I follow artists who are better than me and more successful than me cause I love their work...

but unfollow anyone who posts politics in my feeds even if their art is good lol if my feed is just art and cute animals, i'm happy.

DiegoPalacios 2021-07-14 23:40:06 UTC #36

I only follow whatever interests me, be it more or less successful than me....

There is always the chance of learning something from the more succesful ones......

SleepingPoppy 2021-07-14 23:42:24 UTC #37

But in general people already know that and do that. It's only really in case of specifics that people mute. I feel like specifics are the point. XD

jmhenry 2021-07-14 23:44:37 UTC #38

It should've been in the original post then. Again, if we're all just making assumptions, my assumption isn't any less wrong than yours, lol

SleepingPoppy 2021-07-14 23:53:28 UTC #39

I'm just sharing my different perspective ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Oto_Kouda 2021-07-14 23:56:57 UTC #40

I agree. I'm really lucky because I stopped using social media at 12. As in... at all.

The trippiest part about not using it was that my music taste diverged, and I had no idea what shows and songs and etc. were popular. People would ask me "Hey, what's your insert-media-here?? and I'd always have to respond with an awkward "Oh, I don't have XYZ."

I ended up missing out on years and years of drama between other people because of it, and not gonna lie, I did sometimes feel weird because I...honestly couldn't relate to people who were stressed out by social media.

I made a Twitter account really recently for the sake of promotion and such, and PHEW have I been in a time capsule! I think I would've gone a little nuts being on something like that over the past decade!

jmhenry 2021-07-15 00:06:10 UTC #41

No, go back! Save yourself!
If there was anything I could go back and redo, it probably would be to stay away from twitter until wayyy later. But I also wouldn't have met some of my art buddies if I did. Twitter is a little devil bird like that XD

Oto_Kouda 2021-07-15 00:48:59 UTC #42

Oh, I've heard from friends ALL about the cesspool it is!

As a new user, it feels like Infinity War, but instead of superheroes, it has a weird mix of Tumblr refugees, Facebook Moms, "typical Discord users," a sprinkle of 4chan, and an unexpected amount of underground adult content

I just post promotions and shower thoughts. I shan't fall into Tartarus!

FafasMcMelt 2021-07-15 01:03:46 UTC #43

That's a weird flex... but ok...

joannekwan 2021-07-15 01:17:44 UTC #44

I was just posting what I post not only to express my opinion but on the chance that someone reading shared similar feelings. I want to let them know that their feelings are valid and that I've experienced it. Been there, done that. And if muting/unfollowing helps them cope then go for it!

It may not be the best way to deal with feelings of jealousy/envy, but it's not self-destructive nor is it a method harmful to the other person especially when you have no personal tie to them anyway. Certainly, there are worse ways of handling it like being hostile toward the other person, disparaging them to others, or falling into a self-destructive spiral. So I think muting/unfollowing is fairly harmless.

DiegoPalacios 2021-07-15 01:50:37 UTC #45

walking away is definitively healthier than succumbing to envy......

and focussing of being the best version of me instead of being "the very best like no one ever was"

Hope this helps to whoever is reading

DiegoPalacios 2021-07-15 01:57:35 UTC #46

that's why comparing oneself to others is a waste of time and energy....not everyone is on the same scale for different reasons. The only person one needs to compare themselves to, is their past self.....that's the more practical and emotionally healthy for self improvement.

amortelito 2021-07-15 03:22:57 UTC #47

A simple comment: I left twitter and never came back. I don't miss anything about it. I also block news about celebrities and influencer I strongly deslike. Life is certainly more peaceful when you mind your own business. I still have to follow the news but that's more about self preservation and not being ignorant about the world.

Ordinaryaverageguy 2021-07-15 03:26:59 UTC #48

I might be happier or more successful than you.
Take no chances.
Mute me.

Kaydreamer 2021-07-15 03:41:42 UTC #49

I'm on the fence about this, though if the success of other people really is sending someone into a toxic spiral of envy and bitterness, then stepping back from the source is probably a good short-term measure.

Long-term though, that tendency is an issue which needs addressing through therapy. Because it'll occur again and again throughout life, and not just on social media - if it's a close friend or family member evoking those bitter feelings, it could be enormously hurtful on all sides. Finding ways to soothe that without severing contact is important.

Myself, I do feel bitter occasionally, but it's usually only inspired by those who are successful but ungrateful, or successful because they've deliberately stepped on the face of others in order to get there. (Plus, those who hoard obscene wealth to the detriment of society at large, though that's a whole 'nother conversation.)

VibrantFox 2021-07-15 04:16:32 UTC #50

I'm all for muting when necessary, less so for sight of other peoples achievements more so for people expressing hateful or bigoted views (or constantly dunking on them) having to see it makes my brain melt.

I think some of the previous replies (like joanne expressed) kinda summed up my general opinions on not looking at what other folks are doing for the sake of mental of emotional well being since it's something i'll do now and again myself and once i've realigned i go on like usual. As for the "if it's so bad then a person should seek therapy" comments i think it's worth noting that not everyone has access to mental healthcare so yes it's very much a valid suggestion but not everyone can follow it.

but like muting is fine in the same vein that blocking is fine when necessary. mindsets that say it's weak or pointless or putting oneself in a vacuum chamber are kinda bs but honestly i say do what you want so long as your not hurting people or contributing to harm life's too short as it is.

rajillustration 2021-07-15 04:33:00 UTC #51

Yooooooo having lived through this exact (Well similar situation) I have to wholeheartedly disagree. The thing about facebook is that it will keep throwing content at you, especially if people are getting married. So, I had an ex back in college, and he was getting married very quickly, and you would not believe how many damn posts he made. You would not believe how many people wanted to talk hot goss with me about it although I wanted nothing to do with him because it caused such intense pain. Even if you block, even if you mute, you still see stuff about it because you are friends and you are people who have the same circuit--so I had to straight up delete my facebook account.

one of the best decisions I made in my college life was deleting that account. If you allow yourself to stay on facebook when you have a lot of grief and pain over someone who is like having the opposite of those feelings, facebook draws you in, it will make it worse because it is designed to make it so you never stop clicking, it churns it into feelings so bad, and so toxic, and they cannot stop. The way of getting out and the way to move on was to physically remove myself not only from him but also from the internet. It's really good for you to do.

Eventually you do have to meet these people IRL, not gonna lie--you still can't remove yourself completely. but then it's only a few moments of sadness and angst vs if you see them every damn day on social media.

Anyway this isn't really about art, and instead about like...I dunno jealousy when your ex gets married, but who knows, maybe someone else here needs to see that like...it's OK to unfollow and hella block your ex mute your friends, go right ahead and they probably won't even freakin notice or feel bad about it in any way so it's like...no harm done in doing that.