"Muting is self care"

[jmhenry]

I made a Twitter account really recently

No, go back! Save yourself!
If there was anything I could go back and redo, it probably would be to stay away from twitter until wayyy later. But I also wouldn't have met some of my art buddies if I did. Twitter is a little devil bird like that XD

[Oto_Kouda]

Oh, I've heard from friends ALL about the cesspool it is!

As a new user, it feels like Infinity War, but instead of superheroes, it has a weird mix of Tumblr refugees, Facebook Moms, "typical Discord users," a sprinkle of 4chan, and an unexpected amount of underground adult content

I just post promotions and shower thoughts. I shan't fall into Tartarus!

[FafasMcMelt]

That's a weird flex... but ok...

[joannekwan]

I was just posting what I post not only to express my opinion but on the chance that someone reading shared similar feelings. I want to let them know that their feelings are valid and that I've experienced it. Been there, done that. And if muting/unfollowing helps them cope then go for it!

It may not be the best way to deal with feelings of jealousy/envy, but it's not self-destructive nor is it a method harmful to the other person especially when you have no personal tie to them anyway. Certainly, there are worse ways of handling it like being hostile toward the other person, disparaging them to others, or falling into a self-destructive spiral. So I think muting/unfollowing is fairly harmless.

[DiegoPalacios]

It may not be the best way to deal with feelings of jealousy/envy, but it's not self-destructive nor is it a method harmful to the other person especially when you have no personal tie to them anyway. Certainly, there are worse ways of handling it like being hostile toward the other person, disparaging them to others, or falling into a self-destructive spiral. So I think muting/unfollowing is fairly harmless.

walking away is definitively healthier than succumbing to envy......

and focussing of being the best version of me instead of being "the very best like no one ever was"

Hope this helps to whoever is reading

[DiegoPalacios]

Motivation to do better is all well and good, but sometimes that 'better' is limited by a person's physical capabilities. They might not be able to produce work at a rate or quality that can rake in the subs.

that's why comparing oneself to others is a waste of time and energy....not everyone is on the same scale for different reasons. The only person one needs to compare themselves to, is their past self.....that's the more practical and emotionally healthy for self improvement.

[amortelito]

A simple comment: I left twitter and never came back. I don't miss anything about it. I also block news about celebrities and influencer I strongly deslike. Life is certainly more peaceful when you mind your own business. I still have to follow the news but that's more about self preservation and not being ignorant about the world.

[Ordinaryaverageguy]

I might be happier or more successful than you.
Take no chances.
Mute me.

[Kaydreamer]

I'm on the fence about this, though if the success of other people really is sending someone into a toxic spiral of envy and bitterness, then stepping back from the source is probably a good short-term measure.

Long-term though, that tendency is an issue which needs addressing through therapy. Because it'll occur again and again throughout life, and not just on social media - if it's a close friend or family member evoking those bitter feelings, it could be enormously hurtful on all sides. Finding ways to soothe that without severing contact is important.

Myself, I do feel bitter occasionally, but it's usually only inspired by those who are successful but ungrateful, or successful because they've deliberately stepped on the face of others in order to get there. (Plus, those who hoard obscene wealth to the detriment of society at large, though that's a whole 'nother conversation.)

[VibrantFox]

I'm all for muting when necessary, less so for sight of other peoples achievements more so for people expressing hateful or bigoted views (or constantly dunking on them) having to see it makes my brain melt.

I think some of the previous replies (like joanne expressed) kinda summed up my general opinions on not looking at what other folks are doing for the sake of mental of emotional well being since it's something i'll do now and again myself and once i've realigned i go on like usual. As for the "if it's so bad then a person should seek therapy" comments i think it's worth noting that not everyone has access to mental healthcare so yes it's very much a valid suggestion but not everyone can follow it.

but like muting is fine in the same vein that blocking is fine when necessary. mindsets that say it's weak or pointless or putting oneself in a vacuum chamber are kinda bs but honestly i say do what you want so long as your not hurting people or contributing to harm life's too short as it is.

[rajillustration]

Like for some people it feels like people unfollow people on Facebook cause they’re friends got married and they upset they don’t have a boyfriend yet? And that feels super fucjing toxic- but if it’s just “yeah the content dosnt interest me anymore so imma just leave” then yeah? Why wouldn’t you?

Yooooooo having lived through this exact (Well similar situation) I have to wholeheartedly disagree. The thing about facebook is that it will keep throwing content at you, especially if people are getting married. So, I had an ex back in college, and he was getting married very quickly, and you would not believe how many damn posts he made. You would not believe how many people wanted to talk hot goss with me about it although I wanted nothing to do with him because it caused such intense pain. Even if you block, even if you mute, you still see stuff about it because you are friends and you are people who have the same circuit--so I had to straight up delete my facebook account.

one of the best decisions I made in my college life was deleting that account. If you allow yourself to stay on facebook when you have a lot of grief and pain over someone who is like having the opposite of those feelings, facebook draws you in, it will make it worse because it is designed to make it so you never stop clicking, it churns it into feelings so bad, and so toxic, and they cannot stop. The way of getting out and the way to move on was to physically remove myself not only from him but also from the internet. It's really good for you to do.

Eventually you do have to meet these people IRL, not gonna lie--you still can't remove yourself completely. but then it's only a few moments of sadness and angst vs if you see them every damn day on social media.

Anyway this isn't really about art, and instead about like...I dunno jealousy when your ex gets married, but who knows, maybe someone else here needs to see that like...it's OK to unfollow and hella block your ex mute your friends, go right ahead and they probably won't even freakin notice or feel bad about it in any way so it's like...no harm done in doing that.

[Darth_Biomech]

Honestly, with that idea, it's just better to stop all socializing whatsoever. If people more successful or capable than you bring you grief and hatred, do you feel validated by finding people that are "beneath" you?
And you suggest to deliberately make it so that only "worser" people remained in your FOV?
It maybe removes toxicity and bad feels from your environment, but it will mutate you into a very toxic person with time, that one is guaranteed.

I'm afraid it maybe even already does, since this whole "people more successful than I fill me with resentment" angle reeks of entitlement, if we be blunt and honest here. I'm really surprised to see so many people agreeing with that mindset.
However you feel about that this does nothing but HIDING your problems, not solving them, and making them fester and grew worse with you being unaware of that.

I follow a guy who went from making amateur horror shorts in his basement in Sweden and using "Pony Smasher" name on Youtube to being a full-blown director filming Hollywood superhero blockbusters. How that can be anything but sending the message "if he managed, this means it's not impossible and I have a chance as well, however small it's not zero!" There are already many people who are better than me. Hundreds of millions of them, at the very least, including basically everybody on this very forum. And yes, sometimes often I feel like shit because of that. They all have independence, jobs, friends, family, kids, felt a significant other's touch, or are just living in a civilized country with a life expectancy above 65 years and citizens that are capable of smiling. To "self-care" in the way you suggest, I'd just go into a complete isolation, and I know how that will end - it involves very high places and the force of gravity. Locking up in your own little echo chamber is not a solution, it's not even healthy.

And furthermore, following popular artists is USEFUL. don't follow them to observe their success, follow them like a leech, like a vampire stalking from the shadows, greedily and readily absorbing every bit of wisdom tips and experience advice they drop accidentally or intentionally like the driest sponge on this planet!

[VibrantFox]

I have the time today so I'm going to assume one that you've either missed the point completely or are simply viewing things from another (perhaps limited) perspective so I'm gonna try my best to understand.

Starting with what can be summarized as your first point yes isolation and dissociation can be harmful and even be toxic but usually only when done in excess. What I see being elaborated and agreed upon here is what's generally agreed upon in that it's completely fine and healthy to take a break from things that are doing you more harm than good. If someone is in a headspace where it's difficult for them to be encouraged or inspired by the achievements of their peers then i think it's fair and good that they choose to take a break from seeing that so they can right themselves and see things again with a clear mind.

If anything I'd say it's an entitled mindset to say that people should force themselves to endure things that cause them pain be it physical, mental or emotional. No one should be forced to deal with any form of turmoil simply because one person says they can endure it and so everyone else should as well. Also i think it's natural that people maybe feel upset or demotivated when other folks are doing well but they're still struggling. Everyone has different battles they're dealing with and their own personal struggles so to say "it's entitled of you to resent this person purely because they're more successful" completely overlooks whatever hurdles they may have had to deal with. Obviously no one knows another persons struggles unless they've shared them but still feelings of jealousy are normal and natural the only issue is when they and the actions that come with them start to cause harm to the individual and those around them. The key here is excess.

Also no one is hiding from their problems, maybe they might be putting dealing with them on hold but for the most part some folks are not avoiding them entirely. If you go into a fight unprepared obviously you're going to get your ass kicked because you weren't ready, right? So in that sense it only makes sense to take a step back and train so that you can handle it later on. Same thing.

Skipping over the "echo chamber" nonsense I don't think anyone disagrees with the point you make in terms of learning from the pros but that's not always the goal sometimes you just wanna follow folks to enjoy their work but if that's a struggle for one reason or another there's no harm in dropping that. No one says a thing when someone drops a tv show or stops watching a movie series so what's the big difference when it comes to following folks on social media?

I think overall it's one of the reasons why I can't help but hate the way that social media has subconsciously rewired our brains especially when it comes to social interactions because things that before were completely normal are suddenly frowned upon and seen as some kind of crime against humanity or something (which i'm exaggerating here of course but i think you should get the point). Stepping away from things and people is normal and at the end of the day no one is entitled to another person's energy and if something is draining we're allowed to pull the plug, period.

and i'll apologize for the long rant-y response but it's kind of irritating seeing these kinds of takes because it's missing a lot of nuance and only seeing things from a very skewed (in my opinion) perspective but no hate just wanting for folks to see outside their little boxes

[yumeryuu]

What a strange point of view. What is success? It is your perspective. Because you are insecure in your own life doesn't mean you need to block out people. Blocking out those that worked hard and are showing the fruits of their labor is a completely different thing than muting toxic people.

If you mute those that are really doing amazing, you set the bar for yourself so so low. You never have to feel pressure or ever feel the need to kick yourself in the ass to improve.

Honestly, with that attitude, you can't succeed at rising above the rest because once criticism comes your way, you will shut down.

[VibrantFox]

If you mute those that are really doing amazing, you set the bar for yourself so so low. You never have to feel pressure or ever feel the need to kick yourself in the ass to improve.

not everyone wants to or is equipped enough to handle this kind of pressure. it's also worth considering that some successful folks may have better access to support circles and other things that some folks might not so even if an individual's personal perspective doesn't meet your standards or expectations does not make it wrong but simply different.

Honestly, with that attitude, you can't succeed at rising above the rest because once criticism comes your way, you will shut down.

in the very same vein as my last reply not everyone wants or has the ability to handle certain criticisms (consider folks with rejection sensitive dysphoria a little googling can give more details into how it works) but not everyone is equipped to handle certain things. Some folks may lack the support they see others receiving and it can be demotivating and again that's not wrong it's natural but even if that's not your mindset it's still fine because no two people will view or understand things the same.

regarding art or writing specifically some people merely do it as a hobby or for personal enjoyment so they may not be seeking the criticisms or critiques of others. In some cases maybe a person is looking to grow but because they're growth is slow or even stagnant it may be hard for them to find motivation in others success which is why we're saying that it's okay for folks to step away to gain a clear and better mindset before they go back to interacting with folks again.

i've forgotten who said it above but jealousy or bitterness are human emotions just like any other but it's a matter of how you process and handle them so something as innocuous as muting someone should not be the big deal a lot of folks are making it out to be.

[yumeryuu]

Then you cannot make the claim "muting is self care"

because what you are really saying is

muting is a way to not bring attention to things

or

muting is a way to ignore things I want to ignore (to explain - you can't ignore everything)

It is not self care at all. Putting a label of self care on it is a way to put a positive label on something that in context, is not inherently positive or healthy imo.

Does this mean if I, just a little bit, make you feel uncomfortable in my opinion about your work, I will get muted?

[PapaDom]

Instead of muting...DANCE YOUR SORROWS AWAY!

[VibrantFox]

i'll repeat again that taking breaks is natural and healthy and thus is self care. for example if you've been running for miles you'll have to take a break and rest, no? it's essentially the same thing where if stuff on social media becomes overwhelming you step away to rest until you can get back into it.

as for this:

Does this mean if I, just a little bit, make you feel uncomfortable in my opinion about your work, I will get muted?

maybe maybe not but it's within my own personal discretion to decide. my muting you or anyone else has zero impact on them. if someone mutes me i wont take offence because that's their choice, if anything i encourage folks that if things i'm retweeting becomes to much they can turn off retweets. if what i'm posting is something they don't want to see they can mute, block or unfollow if necessary even if it means breaking mutuals.

Creating a healthy environment sometimes means shutting certain things out and anyone who's done their homework knows that sometimes that includes people. Does that mean shut everyone and everything out? No. The point is simply choosing what you do or do not want to spend energy on which is within the rights of any individual.

The issue here I think is that people keep looking at extremes of "Oh well if you're muting people then you must be muting everyone" which is not the case. Some folks are totally cool with seeing others achievements and I personally enjoy celebrating with them but if I find that I'm in a more negative headspace then I'll take a break, step away and get myself right before interacting again because I would rather be genuine and interacting with folks in a positive mindset rather than constantly being bitter or angry but I can't do that until I've had the time to step away and properly reflect.

Heck I'm pretty sure that's what meditation is about "stepping back and reflecting"? So why when applied to social media is it such a social crime??? and again this is why i think social media has kind of screwed with our perception of how social interactions work because if i've not got the energy to hang with friends or family i'll let them know "hey i'm feeing kinda burnt out or worn down lemme take five and i'll get back to you" like it's very much normal but the internet has just made our brains weird or something

[Azifri]

Sounds healthier than drinking my sorrows away, I should try dancing, or writing more depressive scenes in my comic

[PapaDom]

That's the spirit. Let's drink on that!