2 / 4
Sep 21

First off I am jealous of you're descriptions. They are where you shine because I get so much characters just from how you describe the world. I think your biggest opportunity for growth is in your character development. Francis in the first few chapters seems a little flat and I'd love to see his depth more along with the comedy. I'm assuming the "Ordinary Knight" title you give him is suppose to be comedic and the best way to show that is in how he isn't ordinary. I recommend you put it in the first few chapters because that is your hook and I'm sure as the story progresses he'll become less ordinary. Us readers just need a peek at what's to come to stay invested :wink: