I hope you don't mind me kind of reviewing it
Your main character (the one with the white hair) is a girl from what I see, but your other characters talk to her as if she is a man.
You:
אתה - for a male
את - for a female
So some things I would fix: (I really hope you don't mind)
You are broken will be
את שבורה
Fear not
You wrote אל פחד
Which is a little bit stiff
אל תפחדי
Will be a lot better (though it translates to don't you (female form) fear
Take me sword, child of my blood. Through sin and chaos I shall grant you the emotions you desire.
You used אאשר to shall grant, which translates to more of 'i approve', again the issue of the female/male tongue
So here is a the 'fixed' version (and I slightly changed it to a higher language since you wanted the Bible effect)
קחי את חרבי, ילד מדמנו.
דרך חטא ותוהו ובוהו, אני אביא לך את הרגשות שחפצת בהם.
I only fixed few things so that I won't come as a harsh person, but sorry if I was too harsh