Overambition with Little Experience

[smokesalty]

Reflecting back on my own development as a writer and artist and looking at other people, I've noticed a lot of people's first idea for a project is a BIG one. Or at least the idea they really wanna do is overly ambitious.

Like a few years ago, if you would've asked me, I would've told you that I have this big long story that was gonna be my first comic and it was gonna be incredible. Like we're talking epic fantasy, a million different characters and locations, so many arcs and seasons

And it sounds so stupid to me now, but I genuinely believed that. And yet, at that time I was stumped when I would have to even write a basic outline but I just told myself "I will write and draw it when I'm ready." And to be fair, that is what I'm doing now, but I'm putting in the work and learning through my current comic rather than waiting around. That big project has been scaled down and I've started properly outlining it for the future, and I can actually write well now because of working on my current project so yipee!

But like, I've seen so many people with the same thing- big, grand ideas and seasons and no idea how to execute it. And I completely understand it because you can look at works that inspire you and go "I want to do something that amazing!" I was originally stuck in the mindset that that big story was the only thing I was ever gonna make, with no writing or comic experience beforehand. I was rushing to the end result instead of sitting and working with writing and art that I could work with and improve.

This is what I tend to think of when reflecting back on this

I was delusional about my (non-existent) work! I had big ideas, but ideas don't make a good story, the execution does. And after working on my writing, and completing my script, it gave me a clear show of my strengths and made me want to make more work. No "big thing," it's literally just me entertaining myself. And people can form their own opinion on my work because it isn't just "brain idea," and has execution.

I've hit a point where I'm confident with my work and know it's good. Absolutely has flaws and things to improve on, but I feel I have concrete proof I can point to and go "these are my skills." Still delusional about my own work a little, I am my own number one fan. But I have the experience to know how to go about executing a big epic project in the future, and it's not some vague "I will one day!" only to be crushed by how difficult these projects are.

It's not that I think ambition is bad at all! Like I had a hell of a time with the ocs I had for that supposed magnum opus project, and I still have them and plan to write about them in the future. I think it does cause problems later on when jumping in headfirst can cause disappointment later if you're not prepared. I know I sure as hell would have been stressing with that project as a first one.

I just do find it a bit funny when I see this pattern repeat with other people, I just think "Ah, an unavoidable event."

[darthmongoose]

I think on some level, you have to have a little bit of that when you start out to even start the journey making webcomics that try to have a plot and polished art.

Most people in the world do not go, "All right. I am going to single-handedly make a piece of media in which I am the writer, director, storyboard artist, character designer, lead artist, designer and PR manager and I expect an audience of at least hundreds of people." Because most people probably wouldn't believe they are both a good enough designer to capture people's attention and create a strong brand and a good enough artist to both make visually appealing art and clearly tell a story through images on something where you have to churn out probably minimum 4 illustrations a week, and a good enough writer to write funny jokes, memorable characters and intense drama wrapped up in a compelling narrative paced for serial release. When I put it like this, we're all deluded egomaniacs!

...And we have to be, or there wouldn't be webcomics. A great webcomic creator is somebody who when faced with a brick wall either finds a clever way to circumvent it, "I can't really draw... I know, I'll make a whole comic using photos from old magazines!" or decides to singlehandedly learn how to forge a hammer and smash it down through painstaking dint of effort, "People are saying my colours are garish... well, I'd better go read every book and tutorial on colour theory I can find!" because "Get somebody else to do it" either isn't viable, or the person just isn't willing to share their personal creative vision and expression.

Inevitably, we all suck when we start out, because even if you're pro level at one of the skills (and chances are you weren't pro level at any of them when you started because you were probably a teenager), it's not likely you were a high enough level at all of them to realise the epic story you wanted to tell, inspired by amazing stories made by experienced creators. After going in full of confidence like "Psh! Yeah, I could make a webcomic, it's just a bunch of drawings and some words and then people read it!" it's easy to get overwhelmed both while making one and by the feedback from others, by how much you discover you don't know. "Wait, what, there are certain fonts I need? Where do I get those? Oh my god... the drawing takes so long, is everyone else using some sort of faster way of drawing? Crap, somebody totally called me out on how it seems like I'm making this story up as I go along! How do I plan a story!? AAAGH!" ...At which point a sane person would probably say, "Okay, this is a ridiculous medium, I'm going to focus on one skill and try to get into the industry where I can pitch my idea and have a team." But a webcomic creator goes, "Okay.... Get me all the tutorials you have. I'll show them! I'LL SHOW THEM ALL! AHAHAHA!" and goes off to learn how to letter a comic, draw efficiently and plot a narrative to something approaching professional standard.

If we were sensible and had realistic goals, I don't think we'd make webcomics... but isn't it great that we try anyway, and that some people even manage to succeed eventually?

[kalmia]

I won’t lie, I definitely did this and had a similar issue, which I also find a bit funny when seeing other newer comic creators doing the same (I say as if i’m not a new creator lol but i don’t really consider myself one).

My “magnum opus” is actually my current comic, but I don’t consider it that anymore like I would have when I first got the idea. I started writing it 6 years ago (I was nearly 14) and drawing it 4 years ago, And, let me tell you, the amount of Episode 1’s I have just lingering on my computer due to the fact that I’ve redrawn it over and over the last several years is insane LOL. I find most artists tend to do this with their big idea as well. They’ll draw it- they progress as an artist or writer- and then realize they don’t like the first few episodes or chapters anymore and scrap them/reboot their story. I’m very much guilty of this with my comic as well like I mentioned.

Now, I’m nearly 20 and my growth as an artist and writer has changed incredibly. I’ve become at peace with my abilities and am quite satisfied where the story is at, even though I still notice it’s flaws. I’ve written over 5 entire rewrites (not counting editing and drafts) of my comics full script because I’ve progressed and my interests in tropes and characters have changed again and again over the years. I think i’m lucky in the sense that I’ve been able to stick with my story this long and I don’t ever plan on not finishing it because it’s something dear to me. Many artists cannot say the same. I see artist drop their comics when they don’t get big or because they are unhappy with it all the time. I personally think that it’s fine to start with your “magnum opus”, but don’t expect it to be the best thing you push out. That’s when you start becoming disappointed and feeling unsure about yourself and your work (a little disappointment is fine, helps you grow lol)

I think it comes down to experience, exposure, and maturity as a writer and artist. When you come up with ideas at a young age, as you work on them, you’re also growing incredibly rapidly in your skills, and thus things that you thought were clever and profound no longer seem as such. Not to say that skills need to be stagnant in order to be comfortable with your writing and art, but more like being able to recognize this is as good as you can do right now and being confident about it. Being your biggest fan and just having fun and enjoying what you create is another factor in pulling through with your stories, in my opinion. And, I feel like those are things that come mainly through time and experience!

[Lensing]

Overambition is better than overthinking.
Be ambitious and gain experience

[smokesalty]

Absolutely agree. I think you need bit of overambition to go for it and actually create something. Even if said work doesn't end up great, you will have something to learn from!

[Legendofgenii]

I was so ambitious when I was a teen. Then I went to uni, which was a bit of a reality check - especially after graduating.

I think I must have been in that Valley of Despair stage for a while, before I figured some things out.

Since realising why I draw, what success is (to me), and that the joy is in the journey, I have a feeling I might be on that enlightenment path (although I do slip back down occasionally - which is normal I think).

[Aeneas1]

I won't lie to you. I am myself quite, quite ambitious. You may have heard me discussing my other projects upon this forum, and that ought to give you a conception of how ambitious I really am. I also have been working on, for example, the longest uninterrupted monologue in the history of webcomics. Unfortunately, it has been hard standing out. I used to publish on Wattpad, where I was unsure whether or not people were actually paying any attention to my stories. My attempts to promote them elsewhere attracted a lot of negative attention. Every time I have been offered a chance to be critiqued, I have been ignored. Every chance I have received to be interviewed prior to All Ages of Geek went downhill and was scrapped. And yet I still continue. My point is, of course, that there is nothing wrong with ambition. In fact, in said monologue, I write:
Ambition is virtue.

Postscript. Nixvir’s ending has already been planned, and it is one you won’t have seen coming.

[rljon]

I'm a screenwriter first and foremost and the common saying is your first screenplay is going to be pretty bad. It's just how it is being new to a medium, likely super excited about your idea, naive a bit, not even knowing what you don't know yet, etc.

[river121693]

Same. I came into comic thinking I had a great story and great art. Then I rebooted, and rewrote, and rewrote. Thinking back, my first draft was baddd lol. I feel good about what I have now, but who knows how I'll feel down the line.

The thing is, everything I've learned only happened bc I just dived in thinking I was hot shit. As long as you stay critical, the more mistake you make, the quicker you'll learn.

I have a few artist friends who are amazing at art, but they overthink too much and ended up never creating a completed work at all.

[DokiDokiTsuna]

I had big ideas, but ideas don't make a good story, the execution does.

Oooouuoooouughhhh...

On the one hand, I think overambition can be a lot of fun. ^^ For me personally, it's the biggest factor that's driven me to learn and grow as a multimedia artist.
For instance: once upon a time, animation was my main overambition, and I honestly thought organizing slides of recolored fan art in PowerPoint might be a viable way to create 'my own anime'. ^^; Eventually I realized that it wasn't...but I didn't forget what I learned from the attempt. And years of learning from all my overambitious, ridiculous ideas led me to where I am today.

I think, if I tried to go back in time to tell my 11-year-old-self to stop doing all that pointless cringy stuff, I'd just be doing myself a disservice. Sometimes you just have to let yourself get really into something that's probably doomed to fail, if only for the sake of learning from the experience. And to be honest, figuring out how to get as close as possible to what you want with limited skills/resources is VERY valuable and worth practicing when you're an artist. I've found it never really goes away. ^^;

Now on the other hand...I have experienced what it's like to have to just say no to that big 'magnum opus' dream project. To realize that maybe the reason you have to force yourself to remember it exists every year is because it's actually NOT the best thing you've ever written...that maybe it's actually a glorified lore showcase with too many characters and various conflicts amateurishly cobbled together from all the anime you used to like...for example...

A while back, I sat down at a car dealership and re-outlined ^this story from start to finish. With my more mature skills as a writer, I was able to fit in most of the story beats I wanted, plan out where all the lore would get explained, and draw satisfying parallels between the main characters.
I finally reformatted it into a good story, probably the best version of it that I ever wrote down...and then immediately afterwards, I completely lost interest. Haven't touched it in months.

And I think the reason is that I realized...I had finally reached that long-overdue Valley of Despair. For so long I had been limited by ability: the scope of the story was just too big for me to handle. But now that I've surpassed that limit, and gradually trimmed down the story into something feasible, it's finally become clear to me that it's just...not that good to begin with.

And despite the fact that I can make it 'serviceable', I can't make myself want to write/draw it when I know in my heart that I'd just be going through the motions. I can see all the bandaids, all the specific scenes and conversations I put in to force some plot point to work correctly, or take less time, or become easier to explain. A couple of those is fine; but a whole story full of them isn't really a story anymore. It's just an imperative; pure ambition with no real passion behind it. A true 'magnum opus' should have more reason to exist than just "I am able to".

TL;DR, this story existed as a distant ambition for so long, eventually it got to the point where that's literally all it was. And it's only now that I've gained the experience to realize that that's not enough. At least for me...just wanting something to exist isn't enough; I have to NEED it to exist. And if a story idea isn't at that point yet, it needs to go back on the shelf until it gets there.

[KennethLopezJr921]

Wow...I feel personally called out with this one lol. Mostly because I was, and I guess still am, that young artist who decided to make their first project their BIG ONE. Crescent Blue was my first and only comic I've ever created and I've been working on it for the better part of 7 years. 3 of those years were spent developing the story, characters, and setting in my head, writing scripts and buffing up my artistic skills to where I can actually draw a comic page without it falling apart, and the past 4 years drawing its overly long nearly 200 page long first chapter.....which Im still working on but not for a long, Thank God. And I will admit I am still delusional about my series' success and have not gotten where I need to dial back my ideas, but Im sure I'll get there some day.

Honestly, part of me feels like I should've failed. I had this overambitious idea that I, as a 13 then 14 year old when I came up with the idea, couldn't meet due to my lacking art skills and the fact that the only stories I had written prior was a detective novel which I gave up writing 1/4th in, and the only comic stuff I had drawn were stick figure doodles of dragon ball z or power rangers, and I hadn't done any of that for a while by that time. But somehow, my desire to see my imagination come to life (and definitely my autism idk) pushed me to where I am now. Despite the many hurdles and challenges I found when it came to writing an opening chapter I wanted, and drawing said first chapter, I was able to delude myself into not being detoured because the final result would be worth it. And, so far, was it all worth it? In my opinion, yes. Im a special type of crazy who went from only being able to draw from reference and eyes in notebooks, to drawing at near Disney quality within 7 years of his life from 2016 to 2023, and that may not work for other young artists. So if you're a young and aspiring artist who was in the same place I was back then, I'd say give it a try and dont be afraid to fail sometimes. Also your milage may vary.

[TheLemmaLlama]

Hm ... I feel like I've never really hit the Valley of Despair. Maybe I'm still busy climbing Mount Stupid, or maybe my Valley of Despair moment overlapped with the time in my life where I was beginning to learn another field and climbing a different Mount Stupid, so I felt pretty good about myself overall

I think I'm always going to be overambitious though. I wanted to make a long comic or game, now I want to make an anime, plus also make something 'groundbreaking' that includes ideas that people may have talked about in obscure blog posts and such, but do not have nearly enough visibility as I long for it to have because those ideas have never been represented in entertainment.

The only way to find out the real limits of your ability is to be overambitious and 'unrealistic'. If I strongly feel like I'll succeed at an ambitious goal, I'd rather fail and learn why I was wrong than just take people's word for it and not even try. (The converse is also true; if I strongly feel like I'll fail at a goal (esp. one that I don't care about), I'm not going to waste my time trying just because someone insists I'll succeed unless they can explain why they think I'm likely to succeed. I think we have an unfortunate tendency to privilege other people's estimates of out abilities above our own estimates of our own abilities ...)