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Jan 8

(i.e. two lines that are actually in the story and one that isn't. Then everybody can guess the fake, but under no circumstances tell if they guessed right, or it would defeat the point of the promotion, just let them go check out your story if they wanna know.)

“Sorry to make you work on Christmas Eve. I guess emo never rests."

“Well, would you believe it? They told me the darndest thing. There will be no more Bulgarian folk dancing.”

"Yeah, and if you vote right you'll rebirth as an Elephant, I guess - wait which one is the donkey?"

"Yeah uh-huh. I’m still watching you, Lucy Kim. You think you can pull the wool over me with your suspiciously cute and natural-looking ‘fro but I still don’t trust you."

"So the scene opens with a woman. All her hair ties are snapped. She’s running late for a date when suddenly, another lady pops up out of the blue fairy-godmother style and says “Those aren’t working for you? Try these.”

"Why does your living room look like the devil had a rave party in here?"

“I don't know why I'd do homework now of all times, but yeah, I do. It’s just one art assignment that’s due in…” I checked my watch. “Negative two hours.”

Janson blinked twice. "There are plenty of things wrong with me, actually, but elaborating any further would probably leave us standing here for hours. Now, are there any genuine questions you have?"

"Look, the whole kidnapping-someone's-dad thing was just a task on my personal agenda. My entire life isn't just limited to my assassination assignments, alright?"

  1. “Fine. You win.” Byxx grumbled. “A deal’s a deal. Just see that you keep it down with your… activities in the back room, all right? I don’t wanna have to listen to that every day.”

  2. “Listen, I don’t give a d*mn which of you is responsible. Just fix it. NOW.” Warren barked. “Or so help me, I’ll have you dragged through HR and small claims until there’s nothing but ashes left. Now MOVE!

  3. “You there. Dump this in the sink and throw it out.” Iris demanded. “Don’t give me that look. It’s ruined. There’s no point trying to wash it, so just toss it. We need to ventilate the kitchenette, and that burnt glass isn’t helping.”

"Yo mama so trashy the only man who'll take her out is the garbage man!"

"Holy bow-wow-front-town-background-turn-around-park-underground-I-had-a-frown-now-it's-upside-down-dirt-on-her-gown-so-put-it-in-the-tub-to-drown-but-it's-still-brown-gonna-leave-it-in-a-dirty-laundry-mound-I'm-searching-for-another-noun-let's-make-it-compound-foreground-I-see-a-hound-dog-inbound-heading-to-the-pound-and-I-know-how-that-could-sound-but-that-lil-pal-will-be-found-guilty-of-some-really-really-bad-charges-what-a-mystery-enshroud-I'm-going-out-of-bound"

"If what you're trying to do is invite me back to your place to have a 'look,' then I'm going to invite my fist to your face."

18 days later

"Farewell, we are not going to miss you, but YOU are going to miss Hell."

"Interesting things tend to happen at dockyard warehouses."

"it is a fundamental right for the living to die."

(In all honesty, the fake one is actually so good, I might actually use it in the future)

Every one of those lines is classic. :joy: Shower one got me laughing.

Is it the hormones line?

"Has anyone ever told you that you could totally pass for a Prince Harry impersonator? Not the kind that gets paid gigs and shizz, but the kind that trolls British Takeover meetups at liquidated bookstores.”

"The boys were high-key jealous of my swagger."

"Why don't you just give in already?"

Sounds fun, I'll give it a shot!

"The true power of the Earth!"

"There are no visitation hours at this time."

"I'll uh...have to get used to that...but...I'm just getting started!"

"Well well now! Mr. Big Shot Champion decided to grow a pair!"

"Great, this is one big mess..."

"ANYDAY NOW GENTLEMEN!"

25 days later

"I can't help it. Cats love to play with string." I don't think that's from your book :smiley: