28: What trait are you most insecure about?
Jinho: (sighs exasperatedly) Probably my height?
Alicia: You're not that short.
Jinho: (rolling his eyes) Nobody is short to you over the age of 9.
Kattar: But being short is cute though.
Jinho: It's only cute when you're not the one who needs help getting anything off literally every top shelf in the house.
Andrew: I keep telling you I can make you a stool.
Jinho: I don't want a stool!
Alicia: Well, I'm probably most insecure about my scars. I have some scars on my legs from the accident, and on one of my shoulders that goes to the middle of my back. I can barely even see the majority of most of my scars but I still hate knowing they're there, and it's...not fun for me. In the non-physical realm, I know I'm bad at having conversations with people and that always makes me more awkward and worse. I wish I could be good at giving advice and comfort or at least TALKING to strangers like 'normal' people, but I just can't no matter how hard I try. And sometimes trying just seems to make everything worse. (Kattar looks at her sympathetically, but doesn't say anything.)
Andrew: I'm not sure I have any physical insecurities. I'm a bit insecure about my education sometimes. I've never been to college, and I think a lot of people just assume I'm a backwards uneducated carpenter, and it can make it hard to work with new customers. I've experienced quite a lot of people who want to talk down to me or argue that they know better than me what my work is worth, and I genuinely don't even know how to argue that. But Jinho...
Jinho: (defensively) Those people can go to-
Andrew: (Redding as he covers Jinho's mouth) Jinho! Jinho is very defensive of me, and my work, and I'm grateful I have him here to help me. I wouldn't be doing half as well as I am now if it wasn't for him.
Kattar: Basically everything that relates to my paralysis. Pick a single symptom, or a change in my lifestyle, and you'll hit the nail on the head every single time.
Excerpt that proves Andrew's point here
“We do a bit of everything; repairs, remodeling. But furniture is our specialty.”
“And by ‘ours’ he means ‘his’,” Jinho adds with unamused honesty, “I don’t do anything but paperwork.”
At those words, Andrew stops, looking at Jinho as he lazily skims the dessert menu, and I think I see a dozen shadows running across his expression - like a lowlights reel at light speed-
I wish I knew…
“But I am eternally grateful that you do” Andrew smiles, putting his hand on Jinho’s hair with a much gentler motion, “I had a much harder time before you came along,”
And I wonder if anyone saw it but me.
And Kattar
“How is your back doing?”
“It’s fine.”
I could have thrown my phone.
That new but familiar surge flooded my throat like a high tide eating at my feelings and sympathy and washing them away in stormy oblivion. I wished I could scream at him through the cell.
Fine! Fine! He’s fine. We’re always fine. Never great. Never even good-!
“Why do we talk?” I almost spit, pounding my frustration into the innocent glass, “You never really tell me anything. You just say ‘Fine.’ ‘ok.’ ‘not bad.’ Day in and day out-”
I imagined I could see his face turning that sickly maroon shade of fury as the texts came in one after another – exploding white bubbles of raving letters-
“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY???”
No reply.
“Miserable?! Lonely?! Agonized?! Depressed?! But I shouldn’t use big words, right? It doesn’t suit me to be introspective. Sick of this house. Sick of sitting still in this chair and waiting for strangers to help me bathe - help me change my stupid clothes. Sick of living. Sick of laying awake in pain swearing at the ceiling, cursing my unlucky stars - all the stars - and the universe. Are you happy? Happy now?”