Hi!
I read through the first couple of chapters of Eternal Veil.
Just a bit of feedback.
It feels as if you are telling us what’s going on and not showing us. Don’t be afraid to give more detail and describe how the characters are feeling and expand on the background.
For example, the last few sentences of chapter 1.
“As his vision blurred….. and decided to take him to treat him.”
Help us to really envision what is going on from Lea’s point of view.
I’ll continue reading!