Redraw of my comic

[hersly860]

I made a redraw of the first chapter of my comic! A year has passed and I wanted to do it a little better. I await your criticism of my comic!

RAPZODIA DE EURIA: escape | Tapas

[Kiweevil]

Gotta applaud you, redrawing your comic takes determination and commitment

[denaliah]

I read over your first chapter/update. The first thing i noticed was its lacking in an establishing shot that tells me they are in the middle war. Plus Id say the crash scene needs to be more dramatic, just the sound effect written insmall regular letters in a tiny panel with the word crash isnt very impactful. You could show it's a big sudden moment via the characters expressions and better effects. I like the design of the dark mage character. The dialogue is decent and believable enouh to be natural.

Hope that helps! If you want, you can crit mine in my profile! Im also someone whose redone my comic intro.

[hersly860]

thanks!! actually they are not in the war, there is a war, and they do not want to be there. That's what it is about. They try to avoid it at all costs. Thanks for your comment!

[Hodge]

I can see the improvement! I like the consistency, but one of the things that's a bit distracting is the hatch lines. I can see you went for hatching over tone, which is cool, I don't see it enough, but in some places it's not really doing much or isn't consistent (such as following form vs light vs other). Another thing is the poses and expressions can be a bit stiff, I guess the moment is pretty serious, but its sort of hard to tell their personalities apart. Other than that I could nitpick the anatomy, proportions, hands, etc. if you want but generally I understand the actions of characters. Hope that helps~

Congrats on the redraw!

[hersly860]

Hello! That's right, for the serious moment it looks like this, their personalities are better after Chapter 2. Thanks for reading and your comment!