Relationship Opinions and Age

[dawgofdawgness]

As long as it's consensual, I won't judge (ok I will judge a little bit in some cases but whatever)

[azureXtwilight]

I think some of it is how you preface it. 18 is the age of legal consent and marriage in many US states, but modern sensibilities do tend to think that while it's okay for kids that age, or even a bit younger, to experiment sexually with each other, they shouldn't marry and start families until older. We also tend to take a dimmer view of men who are in their thirties and forties who prefer girls who are just barely "legal" rather than more emotionally mature women at least a bit closer to their own age. Lots of reasons for that, but of course, they don't always apply in archaic cultures.

BUT at various times in the old days, people, especially girls, and especially royals of both sexes, often married younger (and there was often a marked age difference between participants in noble and royal marriages). Of course, if your story is a fantasy, it doesn't have to be a copy of the middle ages in all respects, or even most. Many modern fantasy writers have worlds with more gender equality, for instance, than most places in "real" history. But it's your world and your story.

[joannekwan]

For me a 10 year differential is the max I can tolerate without going HMmmm at it more. And it's definitely more tolerable if the two people met at their mature ages, none of this I knew you as kid (under 12)/baby crap, gives me the creeps.

For people under 21, maybe just a 2 year differential? I would definitely scrunch my face at a 17 year old dating a 14 year old. The 17 year old is at the cusp of legal adulthood but the 14 year is still a kid to me. Give them a few years to grow and mature to see what they want out of a relationship when they aren't just caught up in the puppy love phase.

Now if one of the people is like a near-immortal being who is 10,000 years old, then it comes to what age they actually present as to factor into my limits.

But what really grinds my gears is when in a comic the couple are in their mid 20's but look like fuckin' kids. I don't wanna see kids fuck—yuck.

[SpavVy]

If both parties are legal adults then its okay but I personally wouldn't date someone 9 or 10+ plus years older than me and I'm not into dating people who are more than 2 years younger than I am.

Back in both middle school and high school I knew two girls that were fourteen and dating guys that were in their freaking early to mid 20's YUCK! I'm 24 now and I just cannot ever picture myself with a teenager.

[Rhombik]

I'm with most people. It's up to them unless one of them is under 16.

My bf is nearly ten years older than me. To be honest, it can be a nuisance sometimes. I wouldn't actively look for an age gap.

[Heliox14]

As long as one of them is not an underage loli, then we're fine.

I don't have one at the moment, but for me, I'd prefer someone a wee bit younger than I am. Or older. Like, say, a gap of 1-3 years or so.
So, that way, I'd have someone to guide me. Or someone I can guide.

[ghostmaya]

Im 26 and my boyfriend is 24

[Emma]

Same as everyone else here. Adults doing stuff with other adults is fine, an adult and a barely legal person is questionable, and an adult and a kid is just GROSS.

I kinda have the thing where my comic is about kids aged 14-15 (the youngest is 13 and she's not going to be in a relationship), but I think I make it pretty clear that they're kids. I'm 17 myself, so I can't say I know that much about love - heck, my only "real" relationship was an emotionally abusive one with a much older guy back when I was 16 - but yeah, what they see as love is mutual crushes on each other and stuff. I don't like to think about the reality of some breaking up in the future because I got too attached to my ships lol.

[lunaartemisasama]

As long as it's legal.... For me is ok as long as you are over 21.

For me if you are under 21 and the other is really older sometimes (not always but..) it can happen that the older person want to take advantage of the naivety of the younger one, or the younger one is looking more for a paternal/ maternal figure, or they just feel like it's cool to date an older person because they have money ... If things work and they love each other probably the older one would let the younger one to know more about life and the world before they go further...

But it also depends of how mature the person is... and their stage in life.
For example I feel that a 20 something and a 30 something that are studying in college would feel more close than a 20 something that has a mba and it's already the manager of an internatioal brand lol and a 30 something that it's still figuring out what to do with their life (maybe I am wrong...).

[digitalvalium1]

A difference of 10 years is pretty much the maximum. Any more than that and generational cultural differences make an abrupt end more likely, and give the general impression of a parent/child relationship. Any relationship that requires a control-dependence dynamic is automatically out. As a general rule, if two people can't meet as equals and become true partners, it isn't a romantic relationship, it's a rape scene. This also goes for differences in assets and resources.

If one person can, by virtue of their skill, position, status, or resources, take advantage of the other, they will.

[zetina]

idc what people do as long as they're not abusing/manipulating another person using a power imbalance (the adult + teen type of imbalance being the topic of this thread). i'm really used to seeing teenagers being shown about as mature/stupid as the adults in some manga so i'm a bit desensitized tbh. though i've also seen ones where the author and thus the adult character in the pair take the other character's youth and inexperience seriously. "Love So Life" features a hs girl falling for her employer but the main driving point of the story is really her being the nanny of a pair of twins he's the uncle of. in the end, the man says she should take 10 years to grow up first and if she still feels the same, he's down for a relationship. so yeah, i'm of the opinion that you can make individual cases work. on that note, don't read all of "Usagi Drop"/stick to the anime of it only. ene

and another comic that has been promoted recently about a teacher whose wife died and was then reincarnated as his student was like nononono for the same reason.

but he's not lusting after her hs version. he's not seeking a relationship.

[Mari]

Before the characters are both 25,age difference of max 3 years. After that I don't give a shit. I get pedo vibes with 20+ year age difference ye, but if they were both adults and consent who am I to say they can't be together. But below 25 years old like no. Just date your own age. I've been on multiple dates with men and women younger than me by like 4-6 years in my twenties, and everytime I've been like holy crap they are just kids get out of here. Ugh.

Anything with a power dynamic on top of that (student-teacher, doctor-patient etc) is such an extreme nope it makes me sick.

[nikaalexandra]

i agree with the half your age + seven rule....to a point
for example, in my real actual life, a 21 year old college guy who is closer in age to me has started pursuing my 16 year old sister which i find WILDLY inappropriate and i have to keep reminding her to think about "why isn't he dating girls his own age and has to pursue highschoolers?"

i agree with the above, when it comes to minors, age is super important and the dating difference should be 2/3 years max, meanwhile, once you hit your 20s you can start to stretch that range all the way up to dating people in their late 20s etc

[nadis]

two consenting adults is 100% okay. when we dive into the rhelm of children i get unsettled and appropriately judgemental

[geovannicharles001]

Is it me or like everyone is cheating now a days. Almost every relationship I see now a days has someone cheating on the low. Like sheesh, what is dating anymore.

[ChanYE]

i think alot of you are missing the point of telling a story when it comes to age.
when your telling a story, what do you want to show your reader?
A close age range (1-3 years for children/teens and 5-10 years for adults) can mean that the author isnt putting an emphasis on the age and that part of the characters relationship is quite frankly 'in check'.
A far range like 30yrs and 80yrs, 18yrs and 40yrs or stretching to illegal numbers something like 13yrs and 30yrs means that the author is trying to show you something is up in this relationship.

it just depends what the author wants you to notice. it doesnt matter what age it is, long as the author is showing you what they want to tell you.

[Jenny-Toons]

I don't think it was about what we interpret from the stories or the authors, but rather what a lot of us sorta have limits on? I mean, that's just what I got from this topic and that's how I sorta commented for here.

Story wise, yeah -- an author is most likely telling us something about the relationship, whether good or bad. But I think most people here are just saying what they think about age gaps and relationships in a general sense (whether that's in stories or otherwise).

[IdiotWithPencil]

it just depends what the author wants you to notice

or they think it's normal since their country says it's normal (japan 16 you can marry, Taiwan paedophile is legal"I think", etc). sometimes culture clash happens =/

[gh0stcr33p]

not with minors.....

[arushiangelica]

That's already a crime.