Review Hub - Authors & Comic Artists, age 25+ (No Fan-Fiction)

[wh_vigo]

Hi All,

This support thread is for authors and comic artists age 25+ who are seeking quality, constructive criticism from their peers.

• What are you working on now? Drop a link!
• What literary/visual devices or techniques are you trying to improve?
• Why are you working on this book/comic? What makes you excited (or nervous) about it?
• If you are able, please take a moment to review at least 1 other person's work. Let's do this together!

Be specific about what kind of feedback you're looking for so reviewers have a clearer picture of your goals (e.g. "What do you think about my use of colour?" "How can I improve my use of foreshadowing?" etc.). I'll definitely be reading some!

[brilliiant]

Hey there! I'd love some feedback - right now I'm in the process of retooling my first chapter (I'm planning on lopping off the first nine pages or so, to start with a speech that happens in the first half), and I'd love to hear what I could do to make it run a little more smoothly/encourage reader engagement.

I actually drew it in its entirety about a year ago, and only uploaded it when it was finished so potential readers would have a lot to get invested in. But I also worry that I sort of shot myself in the foot doing that because I wasn't able to get a clear metric on what readers are looking for/how to tailor my story for serialized viewing.

Anyway, if people wanted to take a look that'd be awesome.

Artifakt | Tapas

[indagold]

I'm basically done for now so i'm pretty neutral cause i'm past every milestone lol i'm just interested in some honest feedback on basically anything cause there's nothing to improve on now for the future of the comic... I guess feedback would just help if I ever start a new series.

All Broken Gods | Tapas

[PaulDevers]

Yo, I'd love some feedback! And I have an honest to god question:

Is it boring?

Like, is my pacing too slow? Dialogue pacing too slow? Framing of artwork too generic? I know I've got black and white right now (workin' on changing that in the future), but if that's part of the problem, I'm willing to listen!

All Good Things | Tapas

[puddle]

I do an autobio mainly, but I've also set up the foundation for my two story comics!

My workflow is changing (as well as my applications for creating comics) so I expect future episodes of LWAM and Street Magic to look different. As a result, I'm gonna try to make LWAM shift art every couple in-story "years" to have the comic "age" with my protag. She's turning 13 in the next episode, so luckily it'll be a good time to make the switch..! Would love any suggestions for simplifying my previous episodes' grayscale to be more readable? I've had a real problem with keeping the values easily distinguishable without the use of color

LIVING WITH A MONSTER | Tapas

On the other end of things, Street Magic is in full color and is painted. I have no idea what I was thinking when I started it in 2016... I'm working on ch3 right now and all I can think to do to speed up workflow is maybe go with a limited palette for sections.. But I always end up using too many colors and slowing down!! Suggestions welcome, encouraged even

Street Magic (Witches in Training) | Tapas

[wh_vigo]

I really enjoyed this! I left my feedback on your page but will summarize it briefly here:

• The dialogue was realistic and believable
• Characters are witty and interesting. You start to get a feel of their personalities from early on.
• Appreciated the diversity and the range of skin colours and ethnicities (without stereotypes too, huzzah!)
• Relatable for corporate world folks; especially ages 20-35+ (imho)
• Had a few troubles here and there following the speech bubbles
• You leave a good amount of mystery and intrigue for the next episode
• You don't beat the reader over the head with too many details or dialogue. The execution here was succinct and helped your story flow.

I think in time, you'll learn more about your reader base (and they'll find you eventually, too). I would suggest thinking about who your target demographic is, then looking into some research about what's popular or what's interesting with them. You might find some tid-bits during this process that you can use to make your work more unique or stand out from the competition. Just keep doing you and having fun.

Looking forward to your next installment!

[wh_vigo]

Hi there! I wasn't sure where to start so I read your most recent chapter. I really liked the background and your character design (reminds me of videogames I played as a kid). I also appreciated how much time and thought you put into constructing your world and its lore.

My main feedback would be that it's very text heavy and maybe explains things a little bit too much. Some improvements can also be made to grammar and punctuation. You might want to edit some text down in your future work to leave some mystery for the reader to think about. This means your readers will still be engaged with your work even after they're finished reading it and a degree of mystery means they'll have more to talk about with other readers (and will be even hungrier for more of your work!).

[wh_vigo]

I read the first 8-10 installments. I liked the character design and the minimalist approach. Also enjoyed how the characters' body language and faces are so expressive; your attention to detail here is great. I like that you have the audience get to know the characters' personalities through their dialogue and expressions.

I want to understand your characters and their motivations better. In other words, "making the stakes clear" (making clear to the reader from early on what the characters are doing and what's at risk for them - you don't have to give too much away however, just a few sentences). For instance, I'm not sure yet where Jade and her partner are going or why it's important. Setting the stakes early on will help you hook the reader (e.g. "I need to find out what happened to X!"). If a slow pace isn't your intention, maybe add a small challenge or two along the way (e.g. flat tire, lost wallet/no money, etc.).

This was a really fun read and there were a few times I stopped to closely admire your handiwork. Looking forward to the next one!

[juniorguilherme340]

Hi, some feedbackk would be awesome. My comic is more about character progression. Friendship and similar themes, while retaining fighting scenes and such. If you interested an honest feedback would be amazing! xD

Acroalis | Tapas

[AilyneGouveia]

Hello, first of all, thank you for this thread

Now about my work. Last year i started to do a "Webcomic called Memento Mori - Sins".
Since i really try hard to improve my art style, my paneling and so on.

I think what really got me excited about starting it, was the period seting of the story that is so interresting to study. I really enjoy doing my reserches and try to made thing as accurate as possible.

But what really got me nervous all the time, and especially lately, is the flow of the story.
Yeah, if i could have a objectif review about the flow of the story i would be really happy.

Memento Mori - Sins | Tapas

[davidtalon]

Thank you so much for taking the time to provide feedback. While I am serializing this series of novels on Medium and Royal Road (it's up to episode 37), I really like the positive attitude Tapas has taken, and decided to see if this might be a good fit.

Specifically, is this type of story something many readers here might enjoy? I already realize I need to cut down the length of the episodes, since some of them easily exceed the 15K character limit. The episode also starts out using a 19th century literary device of a lecture (people loved listening to lectures back in the day) to set the stage and provide dramatic tension.

On a more nuts and bolts topic, what's a good rate of posting episodes? On Medium/RR, they're posted Mon-Wed-Fri, but I'm considering going Mon-Fri here until the three platforms match up. Last, I would love to get your impression of the first episode, realizing it won't be everyone's cup of tea... and might not be anyone's except mine. It's dark (though never grimdark), but with positive endings at the conclusion of each book (5 book series with 3 finished).

I will owe you a debt of gratitude, so please let me know if I can return the favor in some way.
Cheers!
DT

The Guardian of Hell (Terramagica Book I) :: The beginning of the end of the...

[indagold]

i'm confused, which chapter did you read? Is it the epilogue or chapter 7?

[wh_vigo]

I read: "Understanding Silverwater" May 5, 2020

[wh_vigo]

If anyone is able, please pitch in and review at least one other person's work! Multiple streams of feedback are very valuable - and we all know how hard it is to get feedback already.

This isn't mandatory, but would be helpful to your fellow writers and artists. I'll continue reviewing what I can on this thread tomorrow.

Throwing my hat in below for review (but not my mask). I'm writing a horror anthology. Each short story is unique and explores a different horror sub-genre. Ignore the working title - it has nothing to do with that (terrible) franchise. Thanks in advance!

50 Shades Deeper | Tapas

Title: 50 Shades Deeper
Genre: Horror, Horror-Comedy, Thriller, Psycho-Thriller
Contains: Violence, Coarse Language, Mature Themes
Status: In Progress (updated monthly)
Description: Forlorn lovers, undead exes, cursed divorces, and abominations from the abyss. These terrors and more twist together in this haunting anthology of heartbreak, love, death, and triumph. 50 Shades Deeper explores how closely love and fear intermingle on the fringes of terror and desire. In each unique story, characters must contend against their inner-most fears and supernatural forces for love--and life.

[DarkChibiShadow]

Just from a quick glance, I think your pages could benefit from having just ONE more tone within the scheme.

So, black, white, and then one shade of gray. This usually just helps character's pop out a bit from the backgrounds and helps with contrast, and is something relatively easy/simple to implement, and even go back and change if it's something you end up liking. Might be worth experimenting with on a page or two?

You seem to really have expressions down pat as well as fun, creative bubble shapes, and you're not afraid to draw backgrounds which is so valuable. So def lean into those as your strengths! Good luck!

[indagold]

That's not part of the comic, that's bonus content I added for readers who finished the story. I specifically have chapters marked since I uploaded single pages per week rather than bulk pages once a month or so. The rest of the comic is in a regular comic format.

[wh_vigo]

In that case, please post a link or state the title of the specific chapter for review.

On my end I've been clicking on the first item that appears at the top of the page.

[indagold]

@wintervigo https://tapas.io/episode/580751 heres the first chapter

[brilliiant]

Thanks very much for taking a look at it! I appreciate your thorough comment on the comic as well - that was really cool of you. And yeah, my speech bubbles relative to the paneling was pretty horrendous at first, you're not the first to notice it. I'll probably have that fixed before the pandemic is over.

[PaulDevers]

Thank you so much! I actually plan on starting to color the whole series pretty much as soon as Chapter 3, so as soon as my queue/backlog on Chapter 2 ends, it should hopefully be color. Maybe in my spare time I should go back and color the earlier pages as well.
Thanks again for the feedback!