Hmm...you can work more on the transition between scenes.
A rule of the thumb is fast-paced scenes--> less exposure, slow-paced/dramatic scenes--> more exposure.
For example, in page 2, you can just cut out the scene where the older brother grabbed the little boy's hand, and directly jump-cut to them running instead.
Also, in page 3, the transition would look smoother if you omit the bush scene, and instead replace it with a little more running scenes of the two brothers, then the elder noticing something in the distance, just then the close-up to his terrified face.
I think this will build up more of the ambiance.
And since I'm always welcome for feedbacks...