Hi, thanks for reviewing!
I'm glad you like my art! I do want to make a webcomic one day, but I don't have much time and I am the world's slowest artist.
I see there really is an issue with revealing Neve's martial training Unfortunately it is important information, which I'm using to justify why her family isn't even more panicked about Neve being sent to war. I'll see if there's a way I can introduce this information in a later chapter, or rework it somehow...
I also didn't even realize the issue with the POV shift. I don't think there's enough content to warrant a new chapter, but I'll definitely add a spacer to indicate the shift. Thanks for pointing that out!
Here's my review. I read all of 'How the Bells Toll.'
What an incredible world you've built! You've included so many little details that immediately immersed me in your story. Great use of diction and description. The last two sentences of Day 1.1 were SO GOOD! I don't have much to say plot-wise other than that you've crafted a very captivating story.
Your paragraphs do run a little long, though. As I mentioned in my previous review, try to find natural breaks in a paragraph as to not overwhelm the reader. Action sequences especially benefit from shorter paragraphs, as they indicate a faster pace.
For example, if I were to rewrite passage from 1.3, I would write it like this:
The result is immediate. With a simple ghost of a thought that is more emotional desire than rational process, the red and black lace dress materializes. The corset and armour follow suit.
A bouquet of roses sprouts from the back of her dress...
A red veil cascades down her back to cover her hair...
However, that's a fairly minor and technical critique. Overall, a beautiful story. Can't wait to read more!