Review the Comic above You!

[AwezumArt]

Oni x Fox
Praise:

• Story - interesting concept, rivalry is always fun and makes for nice dynamics for personality clashes and action. Lots of room for story growth and I like what I have read.
• Expressions - Your characters makes some great expressions

Critiques:

• line varies - all the lines in your comic are the same width, it would be good to see some variations in the width (like, for example, making the outline lines thicker). It looks like you work on it a bit in later chapters
• anatomy - while mostly you do pretty good in this, it seems as though you rush some of the images and the anatomy falls to the back burner. Don't forget reference for challenging poses, hands, etc. If you are not using "under-drawing" to lay out your characters basic shapes, I would suggest doing a study in that. For traditionally inked drawings you can do the under-drawings with blue pencil (just in case you didn't already know this) they wont show up in a scan. but either way work on the anatomy (its a never ending struggle for everyone!)
• consider your reader. Sometime it seems like you put a bit too much text to read easily on mobile. I had to switch over to my pc to read some of it. Sometimes it is better to stretch longer lines of words into more panels. It's not about how much you can fit in the page, but how your reader reads it.

Overall I think you have a great comic with lots of potential! Keep up the good work

Added suggestion: since the comic is black and white, it would be interesting if you added color on the masks! in some of the panels it is hard to differentiate the masks (especially from a distance) throwing on a splash of color on the masks would help easily let the audience identify the character without adding too much work on your part.

My comic is Penniless Princess. Only a few chapters in....

[Inspector_Spinda]

From what I've seen so far. You comic seems very much like Enchanted with the general plot of a medieval times character ending up in modern times. The beginning is very much like a play. It is a bit melodramatic, but in a fun way. As soon as she gets into the modern world, the kidnappy vibes are strong Many questions arise, and I quickly found myself wanting answers. This can be good or bad, depending on how well you can provide answers in later chapters. But this I have to ask now. How are the descendants of African Americans, Caucasian? Or is there something I'm misunderstanding?

Overall, I think this comic has a lot of potential to be something really cool. The art is nice for the most part though the quality and style can be a bit inconstant. I personally don't think the chibi expressions really fit with the rest of the comic, but to each their own. By the way, I really like the bonus page. It is like a painting.

My comic: https://tapastic.com/series/Souldew

[Aspie_Gamer]

Hello Inspector_Spinda, I'll be the one to review your comic. I like the sketchy hand drawn look to it. Don't see many of those comics around here in the age of Manga Studio and Photoshop. Not sure where exactly the story is headed, but I'll keep an eye out for future updates. Is the guy who died at the end of the first chapter the guy who's now residing as a spirit or whatever he's supposed to be? That would be my one criticism.

EDIT: Life of an Aspie, my comic, is a shoujo influenced slice of life comic with the main protagonist having as you may have guessed already, Asperger's Syndrome. Something I have in real life.

[Inspector_Spinda]

This will be a bit harsh. Sorry:

Your art is decent, but your profile views need a bit of work. Look up references or tutorials on Youtube. I can see you put effort in the texture and look of everything, so your art will naturally get better in time. Your character designs are good, and all look unique. Your drawings of them are also fairly consistent. On a side note, female armor doesn't have boob socks. It is not a literal "breast plate" (lol. puns).

Also this might be my personal bias, but the comic is a bit exposition heavy. Personally, I enjoy something with a little more atmosphere and less talk, but that's just me. I don't know much about Asperger's Syndrome, but from what I googled it is when something can't communicate effectively right? Then, I think even more that the comic would benefit from some quiet and anti-social moments (unless I'm misunderstanding it). On a positive note, I DO like the character interactions that are being to develop and the school drama. There's a bit of tense happening which is always good

https://tapastic.com/series/Souldew
or
https://tapastic.com/series/Moglin-Tales

[ptrcksnntt]

So, Inspector_Spinda, I respect a lot of what you're going for here. There's an interesting sort of slow-burn to the storyline at the beginning, I like the sort of vague cosmology you're setting up, and the imagery with the knife and the bead gonna stick with me.

However, the key critique I have is that your artwork can use a little more time and polish. Remember, even if your goal is a distorted or cartoony style, drawing from life can improve how and what you choose to distort so that the figure doesn't look "broken." There were also moments where the visual storytelling could have had a little more clarity; it took me awhile to realize the girl whose father had died was the same one the first guy was nervously flirting with in the first few pages. The driver falling asleep also could have been pushed a bit further; for a second I thought we were seeing some wacky-friend character that was about to be introduced, when I'm pretty sure the vibe you were going for was more creeping-disaster. In the next few pages you work on I'd recommend really focusing on clarity; the idea is that if you can show the page to someone without the words on it and they get the gist of it, you're doing good.

With that in mind, I like the sort of ambitious stories-connected-via-the-reaper thing you have going for now and I'm excited to see where this goes next! You make a lot of unorthodox choices that I think can go really far with some continued practice and polish. Keep it up!

My own comic on the chopping block is Lax Legends, feel free to let me have it. I'm here to improve.

[stickupkids2011]

So, i'm here to reveiw the comic above me, Lax Legends.

ARTWORK

PROS: The artwork is very unique and detailed. the shading gives weight to the characters and the various angles are very refreshing. the panels are orderly and easy to follow.

CONS: Sometimes your artwork can feel cluttered and the characters anatomy can feel unnatural. It's nothing big, because your art style is so unique, but pay more attention to it.

PLOT: The story is about a Verdele Royal Knight named Penelope who has to finish a final step in her training in order to be considered a full Knight of the Crown. Her final quest (which she chose as part of her final exam) is to find the body of the most fearsome monster in all the land, the dreaded Tyrannus. Penelope must travel to the Redland, the last known location of the Tyrannus, to retrieve it's head. But when she finally finds the Tyrannus he is alive, and contrary to the tales of him being a vicious monster, is actually a gentleman.

The story is filled with colorful characters such as Am'beryl the friendly Elf, who makes a valiant effort to show Penelope around the Redland.

PROS: The story is very strong with a great supporting cast and wonderful dialogue. Each character has a unique personality and a very interesting subplot takes place right before our eyes.

CONS: The only con that I see is that it should have taken a little longer to meet Tyrannus to heighten the suspense. Other than that I really enjoy the story.

CONCLUSION
Lav Legends has good artwork, a witty story, and memorable characters. By making some panels less cluttered you should reach a new level of readership. Your comic was good enough for me to subscribe to it.

RATING
8 (out of a possible 10).

My Urban Graphic Novel is The Stick Up Kids. I welcome a review. http://tapastic.com/series/The-Stick-Up-Kids

[youngaustin]

I am going to review you because I feel like the person who did, is not being a big help.

Ahem.

I first off, like that you have created your comic from top to bottom with headlines and titles and covers. It looks like a magazine I would find being sold at a store. Very interesting and very eye catching. Your art is very detailed and rather impressive. Drawing realistic people is very hard which is why most stick to cartoons. Cartoons can get very detailed by lets face it, drawing a realistic person is very hard.

Although I cannot relate to the story or genre, I know many will be able to and I like that there is a comic focused on those individuals who may not get comics in their styles. Your comic is very unique and will certainly catch the eye of an audience who may not think they even like comics, while in reality there just hasn't been one that is focused on the stuff they are interested in.

Your comic does not seem half assed. I can tell you have put fourth a lot of work and effort to speak to a certain kind of audience. I really hope you get your chance to be featured and noticed by people who will really appreciate your work.

Good job!
Fight Me!

[ypirouz]

Reserved--- going to review Fight Me! (Will focus on plot so far, since I just did a review of art.)

[PotooGryphon]

Moderator Note: Please be mindful that the original post asks that you post only reviews in this thread, no comments please. Pardon me interrupting the flow a bit to post this reminder. Please private message your reviewer if you wish to further talk or thank them.

To keep things running smoothly, please only post to review, no comments otherwise. Thanks a lot!

[ypirouz]

Okay, here's my review for FightMe:

Scratch my earlier remark. The first thing that draws me into this comic IS its artwork, so it bears emphasizing! Fight Me makes use of texture in character design, subtle neutral tones, soft outlines and occasional highlights to create a hazy mood------perfect for introducing the fight sequence we're about to see. (The 80s classic "Beat It" by Michael Jackson comes to mind.)

And it's nice--- for the comic's setting, where fighting is the norm and gangs rule the city, I'm quite drawn to the atypical portrayal of what a fighter usually is in stories like these. Even the main protagonist and lead fighter herself, Augustine, says that she doesn't look like a typical fighter, nor does she want to be one anymore. What pulls me in is her somber calmness despite some tough situations---even waking up in an unknown bed after fighting for two hours, she's calm. It really adds to the intrigue of her character.

I think, judging by the coffee shop title, that this will be an interesting foray into fighting with a low-key mood, versus over the top brawls. It's a refreshing twist in my opinion.

As for constructive feedback, I think the artist would do well to keep sharpening their figures' perspectives as they go along, paying attention to characters' heights, and really pushing some of those back panels back with just a few gradients. Regarding the handwriting, I'd like to see some of the dialogue balloons horizontal vs. vertical, as I think this would be a more effective use of space.

Plot-wise, I think the story does a good job of throwing the reader right into the main conflict. I would have liked to see how the main fight went down, personally, even in just one or two panels, but the story is still in its early stages--- the mystery can go anywhere.

Well done.

My comic is Torus Link, and would appreciate a review. Also, heads up to whoever potentially wants to review this--- my story is fantasy epic, meets semi-auto-bio school life with elemental abilities.
Special request: will like to see especially any thoughts on the format of the story.

[Soberdog]

Okay so I read the Prologue and the first Chapter of Torus Link. And I can say that its really good thus far. It has a great concept, by telling two stories at once. The only criticism on the concept, if any, mostly a nitpick, is Id propose doing the concept Vertical rather than Horizontal, If you put the same about of frames on each side, you could make if feel to the reader as if its happening in real time, the reader would be able to jump from page side to side and also be able to read one column and then read the other if they'd like to. The art is awesome, its messy yet organized which is my favorite type of art style, mostly because i posses the same type. The color pallet is great also, its doesn't stick to just 'Dark' or 'Vibrant' colors, it uses both giving it a real world aspect. The frames are set up beautifully and flow just fine. At first I was a little intimidated by the Prologue but after reading the first chapter, id say it was worth it to really appreciate the book. IF I had to give a final score I'd go with 8/10 just for right now as I havent read past the first chapter and the Story hasn't hooked me as much as id like. ITS NOT BAD in any sense of the word but Im more of a Shonen fan so I like a lot of action haha.

My Comic is Laodicean
If you'd be so nice to, please read it, it doesnt have much to offer at the moment, but its the comic ive been working on the most!

[TrustyShamrock]

hi! i just read Laodicean by @Soberdog and heres my review!
story/writing:
theres not a lot to it yet so its kiiinda hard to say a lot about the story. but it seems like its gunna have a lot to do with videogames and nerdyness which is always a fun thing to read.
the plot says the main guy is a gamer and gunna show the world how skilled he is. so thatll be cool to watch him show off his stuff
the talking between characters is also pretty good. it doesnt sound forced to get the plot going. also its funny at parts and each character has their own personality right away
art:
i really like yur character designs and style. the way ya draw faces is nice to look at. they have really good expressions too. especially ryan. he has lots of personality so A+ for him. and i dig his suspenders.
i think from the side their faces look kinda weird sometimes tho. mostly just around that eyebrow/nose area. the characters also look kinda stiff sometimes. in a lot of panels their back and neck are just a straight line. if you curve that more itd look lots better! but other panels have really good poses so dont worry tooo much about it.
i also like how much you move around with the camera. its always a good way to make talking scenes seem more exciting C:
the main thing im not super into in the art tho is how ya have half drawn backrounds and then half photo backrounds. like most of it is undetailed linework and then a photo brick wall or carpet. it seems outta place compared to the rest of the picture....
hope that helped!!
heres my comic Robo Hole. id be super psyched if someone gave it a read!

[Aspie_Gamer]

Hello @TrustyShamrock I'll be reviewing your comic Robo Hole.

Having just read the first chapter of RH, here are my thoughts. I liked the sarcastic girl and the ditzy robo-boy's interactions. I love how they played off one another comedy wise. The art is pretty good too and I like how you did the panels for each page. Very easy to read. The only critique I could come up with is that I did notice the occasional typo here and there and the sarcastic girl's parents handwritten note was a bit hard to read. Other than that, I enjoyed what I read of Robo Hole so far.

Here's my comic Life of an Aspie, a shoujo influenced slice of life comic about a girl with Asperger's.

[BurgerPat]

Yo @Aspie_Gamer, I read the first 3 chapters of Aspie. Having raised a little bro with Asperger's I can say you are knowledgeable with the condition and capture Susan's love for video games and manga very well. I think there's a distinct lacking in the social awkwardness that also comes with syndrome. Her dislike of being touched, missing social cues and overreaction are all on point. However, the other biggest part of Asperger's is how uncomfy people with the syndrome are with new experiences. Namely, trying something new or interacting with new people.

All of Chapter 3 is her interacting with new people, and while she makes mistakes, she has no problem talking with these people. I know not everyone is like this, my bro wasn't always. But for the sake of the story, I think Susan's character would benefit from some inability to communicate, so she has something to improve on.

The fantasy sequences show the most about Susan and how she's different than others. I would like to know more about her new roommate and what kind of story you plan to weave with these character! Keep drawing, you're doing great!

One mistake I noticed mostly in the prologue was that some panels had dialogue written as if I was meant to read it Left to Right, even though you said I was to do the opposite.

Another thing I was going to bring up was character design. Many characters have similar designs and with only grayscale to work with, it was hard for me to differentiate. That is until you brought in Daisuke. Design more characters like this: odd, different, angular, round. As long as they fit in your world, go nuts.

Here's my comic Pat Eats A Burger. It's a weird one. Just a heads up, I've never taking a drawing class in my entire life.

[nessiefynn]

@BurgerPat So, I just read Pat Eats a Burger's first arc and here are my thoughts:

On the writing side of things, one of the first things that struck me was the characters and their development. When Brooke decides to hang out with Pat, it kind of comes out of nowhere. It's not really established why she'd want to befriend/have sex with him. It feels like it happened because that's what you planned to happen rather than through natural character development. Same with why Pat will only let himself eat a burger if he becomes CEO, it's hinted at in the very first strips but I don't understand why he thinks this way. I think you should add more character development to show your readers why your characters act the way they act.

That said, the character's personalities themselves are pretty charming. Pat's peppy can-do attitude reminds me of a shounen manga protagonist and makes him a pleasant and fun character to follow. Brookes chill demeanor makes her a great foil to Pat, and the two have had a fun dynamic so far in the comic.

As for the art, I feel like you tried to experiemnt and practice more it would really improve the comic. The angular style and messy lineart doesn't really look attractive or complement the story, and the random textures (like on the table here) look very jarring. I think if you tried to do looser, cleaner lineart that could add a lot to your comic! You don't need to take drawing classes to improve your art, just keep practicing! : D
Hope that helped!

My comic is Household Slime Mold

[agentfink]

I was actually really excited to read and review your comic! (So I started early on it!)

@nessiefynn for Household Slime Mold

Art
The artwork (even in B&W) impressed me enough to read through and I was really surprised when the story switched to color-. Initial thoughts in the black and white that the backgrounds were lacking and some of the patterns didn't quite work. For the color segment, your color choices seem to spruce up the minimal detail panels. The magical world you're setting up benefits greatly with the color and the characters (esp the rat!) looks great in color (I almost hope you go back and rework your first pages).

The characters are unique looking with easy to read, distinguishable costumes, I like them! I am excited to see more of the population.

Word balloons were a bit rough at first (in regards to placement), but I think you found your rhythm as you got further in your story. Your lettering is easy to read and fits in the space very well. The lettering and art go well together, very importante!

Story
Dialogue works, but at times dragged on a bit (in the beginning), but the gag with the cockatrice makes it forgivable! I wonder if there was a way to create that same amount of atmosphere and get Mil out of the door in less than 11 pages?

The conversations with the three main characters doesn't feel forced and they play off each other really well. Chancel is probably your best developed so far, I am amazed how much we know and don't know about him based on the interactions with the other characters. His knowledge in magic is intriguing and I want to know more!

Your panel flow shows you have a great sense of timing (which is great in having comedic moments in long form comics). I think one of my favorite panels was towards the end with the rat and the magic chain (good use of color, timing, and atmosphere).

Crit
Vary up your shots a bit more. I think one of the stronger pages were Ch1 p18-19 because of the varying use of the camera. You use a lot of tight shots that doesn't exactly establish the environment. You've demonstrated a knack for it, don't shy away with pulling the camera out a bit!

Overall, a easy story to follow so far-- charming and a sense of larger things to come!

My comic is The Pale

[Quinineer]

Can I reserve reviewing The Pale? may take a while, but I'll be back!

[youngaustin]

[Please discard this post and review the person above me.]

[I feel like some people are taking advantage of this page to promote their own webcomics. So sadly I have to put a rule up for the length of each post. Each review must be at LEAST two paragraphs worth, which means at LEAST twelve sentences.]

Thank You

[Quinineer]

@agentfink My first impression is the amount of detail in the illustration- it's lovely and balanced, without detracting from the overall clean "feel" of the panels. The blue-grey shading is calming and merges nicely into the idyllic scenes from the first few episodes. Straightaway, the characters establish casual interactions which feel natural and everyday. As the comic moves forth, I get the feeling that this is a small, quiet town; back of road where nothing serious happens or keeps the police busy. I liked how Randy and Ezra had a petty argument and were handcuffed together to playground equipment while everyday citizens walk around. It's small touches like these which hint to the kind of setting this is. So it's a real shock when the sheriff sees the coyote with the hand. The atmosphere completely changed, and I liked that.

Artwise, I notice the lineart is halfway between sketchy and clean- however, it works surprisingly well with the palette. There isn't much to criticize here.

When the scenes change, it feels a little abrupt, but I managed to settle in and familiarize myself with the situation. Personally, I found it hard to remember everyone's names, but note their roles. For example, I know who was called by the sheriff to the body, but not her name.

When Franklin is introduced, I immediately felt a liking for his character. I had a feeling he wasn't very social and wondered why he would be where he was. As the story progresses, it falls into place and makes sense.

Overall, I like the character dynamics and flow of conversation. Everything in this comic wraps up nicely into an intriguing mystery. The only suggestion I would have is to maybe make the names more prominent, but then again that could be just me. Also, you got a new subscribe. Can't wait for more and I'm glad I found this little gem.

My comic is Faery Tales.

[ReroOnyx]

I'll review "Faery Tales"

The first thing I did was just kind of check the differences between the first page and the last page. Your comic is relatively new so there wasn't much difference. I felt it wold be wise to see any potential changes or improvements made throughout the comic. Since your comic is new, I do feel that my review is going to be very simple. I can only do so much with 9 episodes

I enjoy the semi-dark/mature take on the story. I get sort of "Brother's Grimm" feeling when reading it. I always enjoy stories that try to be a bit more serious. Again when you only have 9 episodes and essentially 9 pages I can only say so much. I find the backgrounds, while simple to be pleasantly designed as if they have their own uniqueness to them. The overall mood of the comic is enticing.

I feel like your character art and backgrounds contrast too hard. Do I think the character art needs work, yes but I also feel I'm not exactly the right person to tell you how to do it. I sometimes think your characters should have a similar approach to your background and just give your comic a very surreal look. If anything your "human" character contrast too hard with the Wolf slightly less so.

You obviously seem to have put a lot of work in the design and your wolf looks quite nice. I especially like the usage of lighting for the eyes that give it that glowing effect. I do feel you should variate your shading a bit, as on the wolf though. I've noticed its the same thing again and again. I'm not going to ask that you get descriptive with the shading, but it would be nice to see some uniqueness. Again giving that wolf the same texture as the background I feel would just make the comic a bit more unique and surreal.

For the speech bubbles, I think you should probably try to have pre-made bubbles at the ready. Some people can make a good speech bubble. I can't, I need to use a tool to make a good oval or something. Also, you don't have to have those thick lines tracing off pointing to which character is talking.

Since the text is color coated, its already easy to tell who is speaking. If you wish to point to a speaker, just make a tiny mark or arrow from the speech bubble in the direction of the character. It'll help make your comic look just a little bit cleaner.

For the action scenes, I think should try to add in a few different angels and positions. This was something I had a hard time with when I firs started drawing and its one that, occasionally comes up even now. Your action scenes I think are a bit stiff at times. Try to be flexible so it feels like your characters have life to them. It will also be nice to give your action scenes more emotions.

I'm a huge manga fan so I'll use this as an example. The ever popular "Dragon Ball"

Notice how the panel contains speed lines that give it the sense of movement and high speed action. Piccolo Junior's blow is added with a burst against Goku's cheek and the "Krak" enhances the feeling of how strong that blow might be. Helped also by the facial expressions of Piccolo Junior's "fury" and Goku's "Pain and shock"

now imagine if you took out the speed lines, the "Krak" or the blow against Goku's cheek. It wouldn't look nearly as good. Try it out, and don't feel unafraid to add more to your comic. Action scenes can be hard some times but practice and you'll get better.

There's not much else I can say. Your comic as I've said is new and other than "keep improving" I can't say much else. Don't feel let down and keep working hard. We all start somewhere new and as long as your willing to continue practicing and improving you will ultimately be able to create some good work. It might not e now but surely in the future.

My Series:

War of the Heavens