1 / 22
Aug 2024

And do you honestly think the pain and suffering will stop?

You think once you finally defeat the big bad, It's all gonna go away and peace will reign throughout the land... and it will be a long time before the next big bad villain shows up?!?

Like wtf is this?!? anime?!?

From chapter 385: Nebulas Everywhere:

"Imagining the stars. Twinkling or not twinkling? When a star twinkles, that might be a sign that it's about to go out. If too many go out, it can be the sign of a dying system of stars. A part of the universe that's expiring.

Solar gases. Nebulas. Floating up a nebula, wondering about it. What is it made of? I used to know. The shapes they make. Does it move, does it grow? If I am dead, can I go there to find out? Can I watch it form and grow? Will I become part of it, if I am space dust?

I don't want to leave Tetsu, though. Maybe someday we'll go there together to watch for a million years. This dazzling show, all those colors. Maybe we'll discover the mysteries of the universe together and leave all this behind. Not even a memory, just these new voyages together."

20 days later

I just find the opening really poetic


The frozen night gnaws at my face like it hasn’t eaten in days, alive with a bouquet of red currants and fanfare. The smell of perfume slips silently out of the after-party and down the spiral staircase, escaping through the closed door in lusty drafts like a flower garden on steroids. Our footsteps echo - too loud in the crowded, solitary parking garage. Everything feels amplified tonight, and yet far away - like I’m listening to - reaching out and existing through a glass wall. The click of my high-heels on the concrete… The heartbeat of the alcohol in my bloodstream…

She - I stand shivering in the burning red cocktail dress we rented just for the occasion as Kattar makes a ceremony out of opening my door.

21 days later

No matter what I say she’ll still divine what’s really going on. I can’t keep secrets from her. I can barely keep my own thoughts from her when they’ve given her permission to spend years, sometimes for full days at a time analyzing my behavior, my health, my mannerisms, triggers and sensitivities.

Mr. Alcott says she’s a child psychology genius.

Part nurse, part teacher, part guardian, part psychologist, part mother.

All the people who hold your life and your mind in their hands, wiring and rewiring it.


From the latest chapter

The awestruck gaze he held when he approached me with the question was all too familiar. I knew perfectly well how certain folks regard the Gatekeepers, what kind of images they fill their heads with when they think of the bearers of the esteemed suncross insignia…

Those supernaturally gifted individuals, endowed by the power of the Almighty One to protect His creation from the forces that sought to destroy it, they seemed almost divine.

I can hear Mandy cheering me on with shouts of “Go go go, Mora! We’ve got this!” and my pace should be slowing down. I should be pretending I started out too fast and burned out all my stamina by the fifth lap, but I keep running like I’m not even winded because I can.

Because if I’m going to die before I’m 18 anyway if I’m never going to get to see yet another friend ever again, I don’t WANT to let her down. I WANT to win this race.

And I don’t know if, maybe, all the numbers and statistics have become one of those paradoxical divinations; self-fulfilling prophesies where people grow reckless because they think they have no reasons left to care.

But I take the second plunge and leave the other girls in the dust.

"I know you'll do the right thing, but I also know you want eternal happiness. And you'll do whatever it takes..."

-Lord Grimmig to Rory- Ep.14/page 32

Rory is given a choice but what will they choose?

Let your voice sing like-a-bird in the ear-ly mornings
cause'-I wanna hear you like my heart beat
when I am dying from the siren of the c-r-u-el silence,
let your smile shine like it never saw the dark, for-ever
cause' I wanna see you like a daylight
when I am searching for my lost self in the b-le-ak nights.

It's half of a song the daughter sang to her mother

26 days later

“Don’t worry about the wrapping paper, just go ahead and open it. I never reuse it anyway.”

I think he hesitates but it’s so hard to tell when he counterfeits his composure so well.

Two milliseconds pass.

Then with a shake of his head, Kattar finds a relatively loose seam and tears the wrapping open, letting the glossy pink paper fall in shreds to the floor.

But when he sees the bottle in his hands, he’s totally dumbfounded, his eyes getting round in recognition.

“This is…,” he mutters, not even sure what to say.

“It’s the wine from the award ceremony,” I smile, shrugging awkwardly, “Since you didn’t get to try it the first time, I thought we…”

I trail off, stopping myself before I can say anything compromising. But the sadness hits me again in a wave I can hardly suppress. I’m just glad Mrs. Moon’s seems to attribute my expression to all the memories made on that night, not with the memories that we could have made tonight, that we’re never going to.

I can feel Kattar trying not to…

Look like he loves me. And it tears me pieces as he looks up at me with his dark eyes glowing with misery.

"...Amidst the hum of activity, at the camp's edge, Sebeth sat in solitude, a stark contrast to the surrounding tumult. He had crafted a simple seat from earth and stone, presumably without employing mana arts—a quiet testament to either restraint or fatigue. His chosen spot lay near where the goblin chief's charred remains had been only moments earlier. The soldiers had cleared the area at his unspoken request, leaving him in solitude.

Sebeth's eyes were locked on the horizon, watching the final remnants of the storm clouds fade away. His mind was a tumult of deep thoughts, his expression marked by distress and a silent determination. Clutched in his grasp was a minuscule wooden seal, its contours eroded yet clearly intentional in their crafting. He flipped it between his fingers, its significance weighing more in purpose than physical heft. This very seal was the one he had spotted amid a battle against the goblin chieftain.

His musings were interrupted by footsteps crunching over the battle-scarred earth. Alaric Stormrider, clad in battered but gleaming armour, approached with a casual confidence that belied the gravity of the situation.

"You’re quiet, Commander," Alaric remarked, his tone light but laced with concern. "Something on your mind?"

Sebeth did not immediately answer, his gaze still fixed on the horizon. Alaric followed his line of sight, taking in the picturesque view of the clearing sky and the faint wisps of storm clouds far in the distance.

"The view’s... not bad," Alaric admitted, his voice quieter now, as though speaking too loudly might shatter the fragile peace.

Without a word, Sebeth raised his left hand, the wooden seal balanced on his palm, and extended it toward Alaric. The gesture was deliberate, his fingers brushing against the cold steel of Alaric’s armour as he offered the object. Alaric’s brow furrowed as he shifted his gaze from the horizon to the seal.

"What’s this?" he asked, taking the seal cautiously. As his fingers closed around it, recognition dawned in his eyes. His expression darkened, and his grip on the object tightened. "By the gods..." he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. "This does not bode well."

Sebeth finally spoke, his voice low and steady, though his eyes remained fixed on the retreating storm. "I fear this is just the beginning," he said, his voice low, almost a whisper. "And I wonder… will we be able to end this madness before—"

A gust of wind picked up, carrying his words away. Alaric said nothing further, his grip tightening on the seal as he stared into the horizon...."

And I know that I shouldn’t- I really shouldn’t-

Read into it.

But it feels like a haunted image. So pretty when I look at it from the angle I’ve always seen it from, but when I start to look at it from Kattar’s point of view…

She becomes a fallen angel.