Sharing Out Stories of Discrimination and How to Cope With It

[Ordinaryaverageguy]

That shuffling around of miscreants happens too often. They should get career counseling and be trained for new work that doesn't involve people. Breaking big rocks into small ones would be well-earned, but maybe something like data collector at a one-person Arctic weather station. Do less damage there.

[KUUPID]

I feel a bit hesitant to share my story as I've never really told anyone else besides my extended family... But here it goes.

Growing up, I lived in an area where there were LITERALLY no Asian kids; majority of the people in the neighborhood were either HIspanic or Black and I was the only Asian kid in school and around my block. It didn't help that I didn't know any English as my parents were both immigrant Korean parents and had strictly taught me Korean because they feared I'd be ostracized even more if I had an accent.

Kids are just awful... They made fun of my facial features, ridiculed the packed school lunches my mom lovingly made for me that consisted of Korean food, and basically ostracized me from the entire class. It got to the point, where I cried on almost a daily basis to my mom that I hated school since I could not, for the life of me, communicate with my peers and make friends. "Thankfully" I had a Korean kindergarten teacher who helped me out a lot... Not really.

She would literally never take my side when I had some trouble communicating with my peers. She could have helped explain to the other kid that I didn't mean to offend them, but nope. She would blame me for being mean to my "friends" intentionally and would reprimand me in front of the entire class... And I would just stand there, not understanding a word this woman was saying.

There was this one time where I had "apparently" pushed this girl over on purpose because I wanted to play on the swings? Mind you, she was the class bully who would push me over and hit me if things didn't go her way. And this teacher just went ballistic on me, saying that I was setting a bad example as the only Asian student... Like what?! Hello, we're literally only 5!

Anyways, long story, short... I learned at the age of five what racism and discrimination was... And to be honest, while it still pisses me off to this day that this teacher didn't help me out when I needed it, I'm glad she didn't. Because I don't think I would have learned how to fend for myself if she had helped me out (it certainly would have helped me out at the time though!). Also, sorry for the rant... I got pissed off just thinking about it

[caelinalexis]

Oh my god, brb lemme go slap these kids and the teacher.

This makes me so mad, I just don't understand what's wrong with LOOKING DIFFERENT. I am so sorry that you had to go through something like that. In Hawaii, there isn't a lot of racism and discrimination, which is why I never really experienced racism as I grew up. Unfortunately, others are not as lucky. I am glad that you shared your story. Those kids, and especially that teacher, are in the wrong for making fun of your facial features and not taking your side!

Thanks for this opportunity to learn and for sharing your experience. We Asians and Pacific Islanders have to stick together

[Crusoe]

Hey! Just want to say: thank you all for sharing your stories! I'm white and I can be rather ignorant when it comes to what other people experience, so threads like these help enormously

[sorible]

I had a girl in my school who would tell me I smelled while holding her nose. I got so offended + surprised the first time she said it that I told her she smells too (she was black). She was like, "Okay. I smell like a black person. But you smell weird." I wasn't even friends with this girl and she would just say the weirdest shit to me.

Another time was in a high school ap bio class. A lot of people in that class were asian/korean, and we had a sub that day who was a huge koreaboo even though he was like 70. He was reading out the attendance and to the people with korean names, he would say it with an accent and bow. Then after, he laughed and said, "It feels like I'm teaching in Korea again with this class." and some other stuff, basically implying that only asians take smart classes. Everyone was like ??
Another reason for moving back to Korea after covid! I honestly think America doesn't have that much to offer lol

[caelinalexis]

Yeah, you can tell that America wasn't really worth the hype. The Statue of Liberty says that all is welcome, but Washington implied that you're only welcome if you become a U.S. citizen, and in order to do that, you have to pass all these tests, and even learn English. People who weren't of the Aryan (white) race were ostracized, and things like Chinatowns were made so that people of different races and culture felt like they belonged.

And I absolutely hate when people stereotype Asians to be smart and have accents. If that was the case, then I would talk to a white person like, "Yeehaw!" or some shit like that. But you don't, because it's rude. And you DEFINITELY don't laugh after you imitate another race. That's messed up. I am sorry that you have to deal with people like that, and yes, Korea is probably a much better place than America right now, especially with AAPI hate going on.

[TheOddFungi]

I'm not sure if religious discrimination counts, but I have a couple doozy's here if it's okay for me to post. I have no experience being targeted for racism since I'm white and I hope I'm not overstepping because racism is a huge problem and I don't want to take away from that.

But I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and that caused a lot of discrimination towards me during school, especially the earlier years, so figured I would share my story as it is one that others like me can relate to.

I've put them in here because it got a bit long.

My experiences

We had a substitute teacher who targeted me, because I was the only JW kid in all of elementary school. At least, that's the only reason anyone could think of because I was a good student, did what I was told and quiet, and none of the other kids had the same experiences with her. Yet this sub consistently singled me out.

Imagine little me, about 6 or 7 years old, sitting at their desk in school. Everyone is working. I get the urge to go to the bathroom. I raise my hand, like one is supposed to. And I wait. And wait. I lock eyes with her a few times, waving my hand, but she ignores me. Finally, I wet my pants. She comes walking up and down the aisles and comes beside me, sniffs the air and asks the class, "Does anyone smell urine?". Nobody seemed to know what she was talking about and I never got picked on for it, but the fact that she deliberately let me wet myself, as a child, really stuck with me through the years.

She was the only teacher to ever reprimand me, and for something I didn't do. Again, I was a good kid. I didn't like conflict, so I did everything 'right'. One day the Scholastic book bus came and we were allowed to pick out some books. I couldn't decide, and was one of the last ones off the bus. I had picked a Clifford book, since I knew I liked it and honestly panicked because I was taking too long.
She saw it and scoffed then said in front of the whole class, "That book is for babies."
I was upset and muttered, "But I like Clifford."
"What did you say?"
I repeated myself louder.
"That's not what you said! You called me a name and you're getting a note to your parents!"
The whole class was kind of bewildered and silent. They knew what I was like, so to see me get in trouble like that was odd. Someone standing next to me tried to defend me, but she ignored them.

Another instance was when the pledge of allegiance was playing and I was standing there silent. JWs don't honor the flag because of the scripture "you cannot serve two masters", so it is considered disrespectful to God. So I never said the pledge in school. The counselor came in and saw me standing there. She grabbed me from behind and held my hand over my heart all the while growling in my ear to say the pledge of allegiance. It was terrifying. The sub wouldn't stop her or say anything, or explain to her why I wasn't saying it. I was crying in this person's arms until the pledge ended. Regardless of if what I was doing was 'right' or 'wrong', this person should have never put her hands on a child, much less tried to force them to do something when all they were doing was being respectfully silent.

I was never picked on by other kids for being JW. It was always adults. And I still can't get over the fact that adults can see a child and decide to bully them over something they can't control whether it be race, religion, disability...etc. Seeing some of these other stories burns me and I wish there was a way to find these people to let justice be settled.

And just to clarify, I am no longer in that faith. Like I mentioned before, I was raised in it and wasn't given a choice on the matter. Now that I am an adult, I've seen how it in itself traumatized me apart from the bullying and am still working through it.

As far as coping with it, I've found writing about it helps. Even if I don't write about it word for word, there are instances that are derived from it in my stories. I've tried talking about it to other people, but it seems to get glossed over in conversation or I'm not taken seriously. I think there's only one person I've told that has actually sat and listened, but even having that one person helps a great deal.

To be honest, I would love to meet that substitute and ask her why she bullied a child who did nothing wrong. I know I probably wouldn't get an answer I would like, or have my feelings resolved. I just want her to hear my voice ask that question and to see the look on her face. Because I can't recall the majority of my childhood due to depression making my memories foggy. But I can recall what she did.

[caelinalexis]

Discrimination is a broad definition - it applies to people, their race, what they identify as, and yes, religion happens to fall under this, too.

I am disgusted that adults would find a way to pick on a child, especially when it's not their fault that they were raised under a certain faith. People like that never cease to amaze me. How does one feel so much hate towards people that didn't bother them? Sure, maybe she had a bad experience with the JW faith, or her ex-husband was of that faith, but to take it out on a child? Nah, I'd fly across the damn Pacific Ocean just to slap some sense into this mf.

I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I can't empathize, but I can sympathize. Hopefully, people can learn from these experiences and not make the same bad decisions as your and others' offenders made.

[starless]

I've been called '50 dollar massage' by two men in NY and my Thai gay friend had stunningly similar experiences as well. We were just college students back then. It was disgusting. People should stop sexualizing Asians. Atalanta spa shooting is the worst result of that hyper-sexualization culture.

I traveled a lot before Covid19 and same things happened in Canada, England, France, Spain... and so on. The weird thing is that my ginger Irish friend was also catcalled way too many times while we were in France. An Asian and a red-hair; the synergy was doubled. We talked to each other, "Is this because we're 'rare' things in this country?".

[caelinalexis]

Ugh, I hate it when people sexualize a race. Not only is it rude, it makes us feel uncomfortable. There's that, and people making fun of our eyes.

Yet, there's the cat eye eyeliner trend and people pulling their eyes back as an aesthetic for their social media photos. It pisses me off that people will go and be racist and then use something from that same race. Like, hello? Most of your stuff is made in China, Japan, Cambodia, Malaysia, etc.

I am sorry some men don't know how to control their damn hormones and you got the bad end of the stick. It would seem that most men think they rule the world because they have a d*ck -_- I did not mean for that to rhyme, but you get the gist.

[starless]

Yes, it's not only racist but also sexist and homophobic. Those offenders don't commit just one. Thank you for your kind words!

[caelinalexis]

of course! feel free to talk to me if someone's giving you a hard time

[surenlicious]

Looks like a thread where I can finally speak freely and not have white people talk over me. Let me begin with saying I'm of mixed blasian descent (mixed Asian/black for y'all) so unfortunately the trouble came from all sides, including within.

If its not the black side of my fam getting the heat, I will see it in my Asian side of the fam. The most infuriating thing I experienced was with a teacher. A biology teacher in insisted on singling me out after class, and smugly asked questions about my heritage (every white person will always ask me "where are you from?" like get a grip already) until he stopped at my mother. That bastard loved hearing she could not speak Dutch very well, and nodded "Ah that's right, she wouldn't would she" and now as a adult I would have shoved my heel up his ass.

That conversation haunted me for years, my fury over not having a proper reply ready for this idiot (I want to use a stronger word but yeah, minors) versus how many more would follow after him. The other time was with a intern at my job of all places, same nonsense, always wanting to know where I am from (you might as well have asked me if I belong there, christ) expecting me to be a model citizen while I'm BORN here. This country is mine too damnit.

I have more stories, and every single one of them makes me furious. I wish it would tone down, but so many things are happening in the world (okay and online) so I'm constantly confronted again and again.

[indagold]

Idk if this post is for people who experienced asian discrimination but I guess i'll put my two cents down. When I went to art high school, I was randomly accosted in the lunch room by a black girl hurling jewish insults at me, telling me I was taking their jobs. Later I found out she was the one who saved a picture of hitler on my computer. School couldn't do anything cause she never came to class anyway because of course. From that experience I kept experiencing racist comments not from neo nazis or white supremacists but from other racial minorities. Just goes to show racism isn't set in stone in who can do it and its very concerning of all people, it's your allies turning on you...

As for coping? I can deal with it but when I talk about it to other people, many times they don't care. I'm the one at fault not the people being racist. They usually go on a rant about how jews have biases and privileges we need to acknowledge because we don't "look" like regular minorities (I look stereotypically jewish) and "have high paying jobs" (yeah, sure jan).

[caelinalexis]

Fun fact: The origin of humans came from Africa Guess what that means, Karen!

Anyways, I am so sorry that you had to experience something like this. It is absolutely no one's business to know where you "really come from." Because America is a free-country, and as long as you abide by the laws, you're a citizen of said country.

Adults singling out KIDS because of their ethnic background~is absolutely disgusting. You can't really call them adults if they don't make good decisions, huh. If I were you, I'd plant my foot in his ass, but that's just my fight-or-fight response (lol I may or may not have trained in wrestling and judo for years). I am PROUD of you for getting through these experiences! Now excuse me, I need to use the bathroom

[caelinalexis]

No, this post is about all kinds of discrimination, so you're valid.

It is sad that America has not learned anything from the Holocaust. Being persecuted for absolutely no reason other than your race is disgusting. America preaches about being the land of the free and the home of the brave, yet racists cower behind their insults just because they don't like how we look and how we talk.

No, the racists are definitely at fault. They learned it from their momma, who learned it from theirs, and so on. And just because a minority has a high-paying job, does not make them any less of a minority, so it angers me that people think that we should just shut up and be grateful. It is so disrespectful that people think that we don't deserve the same kind of things the majority does.

I am sorry that you had to go through that. And thank you, for sharing your story with us. Hopefully, people read these and understand that racism and discrimination is NOT okay.

[surenlicious]

Ooooh a fellow judoka hi! XD

Good lord ain't that the truth. By now its a broken record and nothing you say or do makes them see like you're one of them, its always like we cannot be seen as citizens from the same country (and being allowed to celebrate our culture of course!). In my case it all happened in the Netherlands (where I'm from :D) but uh...this country has a LONG way to go.

Right?? Thinking back an adult using this nonense on a child is just... I really should've shoved my entire foot up there. XD

[indagold]

I talked to some people and they say a lot of angry sentiment comes from people who see jews in the media with high paying jobs and are not educated on them or their culture and forget they helped together with many activists to fight for civil rights.

[sorible]

Holyyy that pisses me off. I actually used to want to be blasian when I was younger because I thought they were so pretty, and I still do. That's upsetting to hear and I'm sorry you had to go through it. It really sucks to be a minority.

[surenlicious]

I blame nosy-ass white people who cannot mind their own business and regard us as anything but equal.