Alicia is continuing to evolve. at the beginning of the story, she would just quietly tolerate all the things that made her miserable, and never daring to believe Kattar actually loved her. As of Friday, we have her reaching this moment, where she TELLS him (albeit on the verge of tears) that she's the love of his life:
The whole time my eyes track his expression searching for some sign of…interest?
Of anything.
The look in those windows to his soul is almost vacant. Like his emotions are making a long-distance move, and only a scant few parcels of anything like ‘care’ remain. The sign on the lawn says ‘apathy’ and his face is acutely ghost-like acedia - an almost gray shade of indifference.
For some reason, I suddenly want to cry.
Something painfully familiar that I can’t- don’t want to place churns in my stomach and hangs from my heartstrings like a gallows as he stares at the palm of his hand absentmindedly - I just can’t-
“Kattar, look at me.”
He raises his head but he barely seems to see me at all, slowly smiling a little uncomfortably at 0.5 speed.
“What exactly am I looking at?” He laughs a little awkwardly.
“The love of your life,” I say out loud before the words even register in my brain. The sentence sounds watery, overlaid with tears, as my voice begs, “Is she pretty?”
