I feel like you think I was attacking you. I wasn't. Your title for the topic was "story". You then had a pretty good summary of a setting. But the story itself was missing. It's like when people describe their story of a fantasy genre but only end up telling a detailed description of their magic system, political system, and the main characters. That is a setting. The story is what they do in that setting, and that is very different. What is the end point of the story? Is there a lesson to be learned or a goal to be reached? How will the characters go on to reach that goal? What is in the way to reaching that goal, whether a person or the world in general being against them. Unless you are doing just a slice of life comics (which I don't recommend to anyone.), you needed just work on the elements that the characters are going to do and the themes you want to explore.