The first pages of your comic - top or flop?

catluckey 2018-10-31 21:53:11 UTC #67

@ryoko! Wow, I didn't know that you are subbed at Webtoons (they don't list the subbers). But hey, thank you so much!!! Looking forward to seeing you here!!!

catluckey 2018-10-31 22:21:35 UTC #68

Hehehehe! Well, the first pages and main cover are charming. And I'm very glad to sub! I'll rate in a bit, but I love romance, an adventure, and an evil guy to keep our good guys on their toes!

ryoko 2018-10-31 23:32:56 UTC #69

Thank you! ^_^ I love your story and how detailed everything is that you draw ^_^ Since I already subbed, I guess I would rate it 10 according to the person who started this thread, eh?

catluckey 2018-11-01 00:35:05 UTC #70

Hohoho, that's a good "eh" to me! Thank you so much for that rating! hugs

catluckey 2018-11-01 00:41:54 UTC #71

Honey, that is soooo interesting! Because subbers seemed engaged in the first few pages, but then tapered off after that. So it's very interesting to get another point of view. When I first began the comic ('bout 5 years ago), I wished I could do the scenes that were in my head, but when Daniel Tyka drew those gorgeous full color pages for me, I went for it. Right now, I'm really concentrating on how to do scroll down and more engaging panels. I really hope you hang in there with me. Oh, and thank you soooo much for the 9/10 ranking for the following pages. hugs and smiles

chocolatteboss 2018-11-06 06:45:38 UTC #72

I re did this first episode a lot when I story boarded it. every time I tried to reduce the amount of words in it as much as I could.

and as less events as possible too while keeping the main thing going on.

like for example I didn't show how the man escaped from the palace with the baby. I just teleport him outside. Idk if that was a good choice. What do you think?

unknown_user 2018-11-06 09:26:21 UTC #73

castle 8/10
the rest of prologue 6/10

Art style is pretty cute and it's good that we already see the beginning of the plot here. Too bad that the stories about kings and princesses, rised by peasants, are not actually my type. But I think that people who love this kind of stories could be interested by this prologue and like your comics as well.

chocolatteboss 2018-11-06 15:08:22 UTC #74

thank you! this was really helpful!

btw just realized the second to last image was missing so i just re-uploaded it.

Daknight 2018-11-06 21:10:38 UTC #75

8/10
Really like how things slowly escalate and the expression on the king are on point! You can feel him screaming. The escape might not be that important unless you wanted to create a somewhat tense sneaking moment, but in the context it isn't really need. I like that it raises question of 'Why?' and makes one want to read more to learn about this.

Here is mine

chocolatteboss 2018-11-07 15:26:38 UTC #76

7/10
I love the humor on this. and the idea is really good for this story. The colors and style make it look really unique, as if it is a history book.

However, this is a really traditional way to start a comic (to just explain the history and origin by a narrator and don't really meet any character.

Personally, I prefer being thrown into the action and meet the characters and watch them do their thing right away.

danitasibert 2018-11-07 21:14:42 UTC #77

Always looking for ways to improve my comics and my writing skills, here's mines:
first pages

Lucca_Vendramel 2018-11-09 03:55:09 UTC #78

For Vampire Search I think that you're on the right path. I don't see anything you should change there.

Maximum Chaos is a bit different, though. You have quite a bit of dialogue in every baloon, which you could divide into multiple baloons to make it lighter on the reader. Besides that, it's pretty good. It's something I'm trying to solve on my own comic too.

PaulDevers 2018-11-09 14:54:14 UTC #79

Just read all of Everdream so far! I see what you got going on. I feel like I really enjoy the soft lore elements, but maybe some actual introduction to the world itself would be helpful? I don't have much of a feel for where the characters are right now. That, and I feel like you need to maybe put a little more thought into the word balloons. The dialogue is great, but sometimes the font gets scrunched inside the word balloons and hard to read. But I am going to be tuning into this in the future for sure.

imiogri 2018-11-09 15:16:42 UTC #80

Okay, I came in at just the right time of this thread because I love ducks. I don't know if there's going to be a further duck theme, but I approve of the ducks. Besides that, I find the start of your comic entertaining! It's not my type of genre at all, but the comedy doesn't seem as stale and forced as many others I've seen. The physical comedy is nicely paced, and the squash and stretch is well utilized. The only thing I can say is that the main character, despite being called a wimp, doesn't seem so wimpy to me from the get-go. Since it's not my genre I don't really want to rate it since it would be unfair, but keep up the good work, I'm sure those who like comedy would continue!

Pandastrophic 2018-11-10 00:49:27 UTC #81

@Mangocado
I think your art is so pretty and attractive! I love the character designs and your colour choices are lovely. I think the story is interesting too, it did keep me reading quite a bit more than 5 episodes but also that could be because some episodes are pretty short and i wanted to have a better gasp of the story. Your first episode is really really short and i understand its like an introduction to the story but i kinda wish it was combined with ep 2 to give first time readers a better understanding of your story. I like the semi-story book kinda format, its very cute and unique, i couldn't listen to the music bc i read on my phone but maybe i'll go back and read it better on my laptop later!

Heres my comic:

patrol_comic 2018-11-10 04:27:18 UTC #82

This is excellent! From the first three episodes I can tell the comic will be earnest, and likely drawn from personal experience. Since many "slice-of-life" comics can feel contrived, it's comforting knowing you're drawing from genuine emotion and growth.
I also love how each of the first three episodes introduces a new character, adding a dimension to the story so far. We learn their relationship to the protagonist, and what they want, the two pillars of any new character.
I also think starting off with a flashback is a great "in-media-res" way of getting a hold of the readers attention, while also showing us the weight he carries with him. Great work!
Ok, here's mine. It's more of a traditional strip format, so an "episode" is really just a strip. I'm still trying to give each one a story beat though!

unknown_user 2018-11-10 08:47:24 UTC #83

Beginnings: 8/10. This page looks good. The dialog between the girl and her mother seems natural and fun.
Looking For More: 6/10, Fetch Quest: 4/10 - at those pages I loose my focus because they are just discussing typical MMO game stuff and nothing more.

I've seen a bunch of comics about gaming here, so it is not easy to make something new and standing out on this topic. Please, don't be upset about my words, your comics surely have potential and can become more interesting when story will developed further. I'm just trying to estimate how reader perceives your first pages. From my point of view, its second and third pages don't look catchy enough, that's all.

Here is mine (I know that many people have already seen that link, just attaching here it for convenience):

libs 2018-11-10 18:53:52 UTC #84

I read the first chapter of your comic. And here's my review:
I don't like seeing 3 recycled backgrounds for 3 different panels. You should have changed the angle or show the scene in a different perspective.

Also describing sound effects as "electromagnetic pulse sound" and etc really took me out of immersion to the world of the comic.

And most importantly, there is WAY too much lack of information on everything. What is that orb? Who is the man? Why are they fighting? Why is there a train? You should have answered some of these question first so the reader feels more invested in the action that occurs.

You don't have to explain everything with words. But rather do it visually or contextually.

Here's mine:

TenguHarley 2018-11-10 20:11:08 UTC #85

Review for The Almighty Roof Girl:

Rating: 6/10

I'm pretty bad with numbers so take this as a grain of salt. The art style is pretty fitting for the kind of story you're going for. Not much to say with writing since the story is straight forward. As for critique, I would say add some colors like as you did with the greys with the city and such. Not asking for a whole lot but for some scenes or close ups it would definitely help express the emotion of the situations between the characters or even a shadow. Like when Helmet Man ran off, he came to a halt from Roof Girl who stood in his way, it would be nice for a grey fill on him to state that she is there.

It can still be kept in black and white but with some greys to work with like light, mid and dark tone. or even a solid black for shadows.

As for inks with characters.. maybe keep them solid and complete or thicken the lines around them in some way for them to pop a bit. That's more of an opinion than a critique so up to you if that works.

I've only read the first chapter, this story isn't something of my "go to list" but I can tell your readers enjoy it at most for the content and story, I wish you luck with the growth of your story! :0

Here is my story (Note: Prologue and First Chapter was done last year, was new to using clip studio paint along with aiming to go for a manga style, as for the rest, got the hang of it but still trying to get there lol)

danitasibert 2018-11-10 20:43:07 UTC #86

thank you very much for the critique, ill be working on that!