The Genesis Girl WIP | Feedback?

[TomDellaringa]

Thanks everyone for the feedback.

[punkarsenic]

ooooooooh, this is good

generally as a comic its very clear you know what youre doing - clear, appealing style and well coloured, reads super well, all that stuff

i feel like the dream sequence is very different from the rest of the comic - i worry you might make the wrong first impression? or does it move back into that style later on? the dream sequence was definitely my favourite part, those splotchy swirls are gorgeous.did you use a custom brush? if you share it publicly ill sub lol

the characters are set up nicely, theyre both super likeable and have a great dynamic, but all burning questions are answered and no new ones asked, and theres no hook at the end - maybe this wasnt too much of a concern when you were planning to publish this all at once, but serialised work needs to leave the audience desperate to know whatll happen next, otherwise... why come back?

as to whether this would go down well on tapas... i think so! its cute and lighthearted (so far) with really nice art, all you gotta worry about is them hooks.

[TheThoughtfulBoxful]

I'm with @punkarsenic, this is really good!! I think it'd do great on tapas, and I personally would subscribeto something like this

[TomDellaringa]

First, thank you for looking - and for the nice comments!

It's a good point about the beginning. The idea was the dream sequence was in B&W - it feels distant and dark to her. But I get you about setting an expectation here where the format is different. That's something to think about. I could write an intro in color where Mel and Bert interact, and then she could go to sleep and have the dream.

I get you on the hooks. Yeah the book was not written that way, it's meant to be published as a graphic novel. There are hooks and cliffhangers on certain pages - and certainly emotional notes. I'm not sure I can change much of that with a finished script and half the book penciled. (Or if I want to).

As for the brush for the dark energy - it's nothing more than a plain variable round brush in Photoshop. Stock brush. I just manually drew each oval as I went along

[TomDellaringa]

Great, thank you for looking!

[punkarsenic]

I'm not sure I can change much of that with a finished script and half the book penciled. (Or if I want to).

totally fair. is there a way to instead look for different ways to chop up the chapters to create some hooks? if not, like, the pieces fall how they fall and if its good people will still come.

however, since its been written to be a graphic novel... have you considered self publishing? i know its got a bit of stigma around it, but it could be that selling this as a pdf on itch.io or using a POD service could do well for you. you could do both - sell the whole thing on demand while sharing it serialised for free. i dunno, options.

It's a good point about the beginning. The idea was the dream sequence was in B&W - it feels distant and dark to her. But I get you about setting an expectation here where the format is different. That's something to think about. I could write an intro in color where Mel and Bert interact, and then she could go to sleep and have the dream.

i totally get your intention, and again its... So Nice. im probably just being nitpicky. i think it would be a good starter bc it does set up a lot of questions to get people to read on - maybe try adding some colour? that could make it seem slightly more in sync w the rest of the comic while remaining fairly psychedelic. especially if you did, like, maybe two colours but theyre slightly out of line with the black like an old screen print, that could look really cool

i think if youve got other scenes in that style it wont stick out too much (and id stick around to see them)

As for the brush for the dark energy - it's nothing more than a plain variable round brush in Photoshop. Stock brush. I just manually drew each oval as I went along

the dedication...........................

[TomDellaringa]

I've self-published two graphic novels already (Both Kickstarted - links below), as well as many other smaller books. I have a small following, I could do it. But I really need to broaden my audience base. It has fallen off after Marooned ended.

I could add color to the start. Thinking about that, as well as other options. Nitpicking is fine, I wanted feedback. This is good to think about. Appreciated.

Marooned - the Graphic Novel

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/tdellaringa/rock-and-tin-graphic-novel/description

[amortelito]

Gorgeous. I adore the beginning, how it slowly gives us information and constructs the whole premise. The character interaction is so endearing and enjoyable to read. I really like the color palette and how it helps to emphasise emotion like anger and surprise! Good job!

[TomDellaringa]

Thank you so much, and thank you for looking!