The person I want to support me the most doesn't. What should I do?

[PotooGryphon]

Maybe comics just aren't her thing?

That's the case for my mom. She hasn't read my comic either. However, not for lack of interest. I've given her printed copies and showed her how/where to read it online, but she's a bit techno inept and not into comics.

And all that's fine, ya know. Comics aren't for everyone or perhaps the kind of comics we make aren't the kind of stories/art that grab their interest.

I personally don't get down about it. There are hobbies my mom has that I'm not interested in either.

I recommend to keep doing what makes you happy and engage with other comic lovers. Trying to please everyone, especially parents, will just drive ya mad.

[MinNCompany]

@siezadouglas I can relate to the whole 'family isn't supportive' but rather than not caring, they don't want me to draw the kind of style/story to the point I draw everything in secret (I've managed to keep my entire work essentially secret for almost three years, which isn't much to blink at compared to 10+ but yeah haha) but in the end, validation shouldn't come from family or from fans - it certainly helps but it won't help last in the long run

Good luck on your drawing!

[Sieza]

Thank you so much. It brings me to tears knowing that I'm not alone. I've never really had anyone tell me do what makes me happy. It makes me feel selfish. Her not supporting me makes me appreciate everyone else who supports me a ton. I really needed this today. Thank you.

[Sieza]

It's weird that you say that, she is a book worm at times. But I guess my style has never hit off with her. She was the main reason I started writing, and for her to treat me the way she does just breaks my heart. I'll try to focus more on pleasing myself and keeping up my work! Thank you!

[joannekwan]

validation shouldn't come from family or from fans - it certainly helps but it won't help last in the long run

I think this is the best piece of advice.

Some people, even those closest to you, just won't get it. Like, I don't think my mom is that big a fan of the content I produce. So we don't really talk about it at all. But she's just happy that I'm happy with what I do.

[Sieza]

@joannekwan Agreed. I don't think that it's the fact my mom doesn't like it. I think it's that I just want her to be proud and happy that I'm doing what I love. That's where the problem comes in. It almost makes me feel like I'm wrong for doing what I like. This is also even outside of drawing.

[joannekwan]

With time you'll come to realize there's nothing wrong with doing what you like (as long as it's not harming others, ya know). As I grew older I had fewer and fewer f–'s to give. You can't really rely on people to be proud of you, they are their own persons. I think the person proudest of my work is me, because I know the struggle; from where I started and where I am now.

[isabelleArne]

With time you'll come to realize there's nothing wrong with doing what you like (as long as it's not harming others, ya know). As I grew older I had fewer and fewer f–'s to give. You can't really rely on people to be proud of you, they are their own persons. I think the person proudest of my work is me, because I know the struggle; from where I started and where I am now.

yes I think this kind of philosophy come with age, but I totally understand that you want the approval from your mom, she's such an important person, but it must not let you ruin your ambitions. I've been doing comics all my life (you don't want to see what I was doing at 10 ) and I think of all the comics I made, maybe my parents only read 1 ... because I had it published and couldn't hide it really. But for me showing something like a comic to the person close to me is impossible.

I feel like it's too personal, I put parts of me in each comic, and if they judge it I feel like they judge me and I would feel my confidence shattering like yours ... That said, I think over the last few years I've gotten more confident and don't care as much, and this is also why I have started a new comic. But I stay quite secretive of my artistic project to the people close to me. And on the other hand post on social media to get the approval of total strangers.

I think I wanted to have a point ... well anyway do the comic makes you happy ? If you're doing your pages smiling and getting excited to do the next one than that's it, keep on doing it for yourself. About parents it's a complicated relationship and parents are people too, you can't force their opinion and I know in my parent's case that they will never support me if they don't like it, I mean they won't lie to me, they'll tell the truth of what they think, it can be hard sometimes but I rather have them honest than keep me in a bubble.
And also : Parents aren't always right !

Sorry I think I rambled ...

[J.Z.Castillo]

Oh, lort, okay. The thing with art is, not everyone likes what you like, not everyone in your friends or family is going to jam to the same jam you jam to. It's like music, you can't like everything. Maybe your mom just really does not find your style appealing, and that's okay because she is her own person with her own sense of aesthetics. The good thing is, someone else out there will like your style.

My other point is, do not EVER make art to please others, NEVER EVER EVER do that! That's is a sure way to hate your art and hate yourself. Make art for YOU, because YOU like it, because YOU wanna make it, not because you think it's going to be well-received by others or make you money... that comes later LMAO (lord knows I've sold out by drawing sexy boys). Thing is, people can see your passion, people are really good at calling the bullshit out in art, if they see your passion they will vibe to it. It sounds like a bunch of crap, but it's true! You can always tell who is making art just to make money when you go to conventions, there is always that sense of desperation or something lacking from their work.

Bottom line is, do not go out there trying to please people because you will only hurt yourself when someone isn't pleased with your work. I promise the moment you start doing things for you because you like them THAT will attract you more visibility than doing things to make others happy.

[Stickly]

I don't want to be mean but if she thinks the arms and eyes are weird then why don't you just ask her how it could look better? If the art style really turns her off then you should fix it somehow.

[Sieza]

@blayandhowlie That's the problem. I do. I ask her what I could do to make it better. One time she took the pencil and even drew her own interpretation of it over what I had already drawn. I asked other people what they thought and honestly most liked it the way I was evolving it and not what she did. She was trying to add a realistic features to a more chibi cartoon style. It just didn't look right. People are right though, I'm not going to change it in her style just so SHE will like it. If I'm going to grow as an artist I want to do it in my own way. I don't mind constructive criticism, but she wouldn't even tell me what she liked about it and how to improve. It was straight insults.

[NickRowler]

I did have a former friend (we don't talk anymore) who was sort of flat when it came to my work. This became sort of problematic when she was suppose to be my co-creator. She would tell me she didn't like it but never really told me why or what to do to change it. So I ended up just dropping the project.

I also don't show my comics to my parents. My parents are either A) way too eager and will act like I am Miyazaki or B) see something that is problematic and just be sort of disappointed. My comics do have gay characters and my parents are not 100% pro-LGBT...so I just don't show it to them because of that because I know I will get the B reaction. I think you should put your effort into focusing on the people who love your comic instead of trying to cater solely to someone who doesn't like it.

(Tho your eyes do seem a little weird...like I understand why she might say that)

[miesmud]

I understand the pain of people you love not supporting your hobbies. My mom always says I'm wasting my time. She calls my comic useless and stupid and says I should work on more important things, though for me my comic is one of the most important things in the world right now. I don't think she ever read my comic. But also my friends don't take my comic serious at all, they laugh at it and judge me for liking highschool stories and soft- BL/ GL.
I know a lot of people DO like my comic, but it'd be nice if at least someone I know in person says they like it. Sometimes it would be nice to be aknowledged by someone I actually know. Because for some reason the opinions of people close to me feel a lot more important than the ones from people online.
Luckily I have tough skin and still enjoy working on my comic, but still wish to have friends with the same interests as me, or at least someone that would say "Cool, can I see it?" instead of "wait what, you draw gay porn?" Because, well idk, my comic isn't even gay porn💁‍♂️

[nixxusnibelheim]

I had similar situations (with family and ex-gf) but if there is one thing that I've learned is "Don't expect anything from anyone !".
It's sad to hear but your relatives doesn't have to support what you do. Don't be down because of it ! Keep improving and keep creating if that's what you love, doesn't matter if people like it or not, keep doing what you do.
Focus on you and only you.

You create your own journey. The people who doesn't support you, will tell you eventually, when they are ready to be interested in your work ^.^ !

[Ara_Personica]

I know this feel. It's so frustrating, and it hurts, and you see all these people around you with support that you wish you had, and it feels like you're drowning in a sea.

My therapist told me to think of it a different way. Imagine the person you want to be; successful, skilled, self-confident, however you want to be. Make it a character, if that helps. And then imagine that person meeting the current you. Imagine what the future you, successful, confident, would say to the current you whenever someone important to you tears your work down. Future you would be supportive; they would believe in you, even when no one else does.

I struggle a lot with self esteem, and imagining this helps me a lot. I also practice positive self-talk. For instance, when I'm working on something and I start to think I suck, I immediately change that thought into a good one. Something like "I'm still learning," or "I've got this!" or "I just have to practice more."

I'm still working on it... but maybe it will help!

[tayo_rafferty]

It weird because most of the people in my life have been very dismissive or highly cynical about my art except my mother in fact this is perhaps the only good thing about our relationship.

My advice is to try and directly communicate what the support means to you and how it makes you feel when she ignores/dismisses it. If she loves you (which I'm sure she does) she will make an effort to understand and maybe even take a serious interest in what you care about.

[KuroTorii]

I know this so strongly, and I'm sure many of us have had this happen to them in some point in their life. Both my parents didn't understand art when I was younger, and thought it was a huge waste of my time. I had support from friends but at home things were different, and it always made me feel a bit depressed. It was hard to deal with when I finished an art piece (or comic page) I wanted to show parents excitedly but they just didn't care about it.

As I got older, I learned to live with it but more so I realized that as much as the support of my parents would be a nice feeling, its also not necessary because what I create I create for myself and my dreams and I can accomplish that on my own if I have to. I eventually confronted my parents, telling them how their lack of support hurt me and it took time (many many years), but now they are so insanely supportive its crazy. They still don't read my comic, but they are constantly sharing posts about it on facebook, and asking for illustrations I made so they can show them off to friends or family.
I don't actively feel like I need support anymore though because what I create is for me and for the people that enjoy what I do. And its a good feeling just knowing that.

Don't know if this is really the best advice though haha, but hang in there. <3

TLDR: Try talking to your mother about support and how much it would mean to you. In time, you may find sudden support from those who didn't in the past, but its ok even if they don't. Just try to remember the comic and art you create is for you and those who support you !

[kyupol]

Yeah I had the same problem. Parents just unsupportive. Not just in terms of comic.

I know it hurts but it is possible to pick up the pieces and not care what or who likes your comic.

Mom? Dad? Lol those are just labels. Family isn't always blood.

Have a nice day, friend...

[lunaartemisasama]

My family is kind of supportive, with me drawing or painting "normal" stuff like flowers or landscapes. But there's no way in hell I will even show them my comic. I don't want to end up homeless lol.

[ratique]

As someone who can come off as rather harsh to the people I'm closest to:

It sounds a lot like you are surrounded by a lot of yes-sayers. People who tell you what you want to hear. People who tell you, everything is fine the way it is. People who tell you, they love your work.

And then there is your mother, who does not sugar coat things. She criticizes your work. She does not give praise lightly.

Good. I am proud of her. She does not wrap you in sugar like everyone else in your description does. She wants you to do better - she expects you to do better. She is not your friend, she is your mother. And that's what good mothers try to do.

I understand her criticism. Your art needs a lot of work if you are hoping to get anywhere with it later in life. The wonderful thing about drawing is that practice will make you better, especially if you try hard to improve. And if you do that, something tells me that one day your mother will praise you - and it might be one of the greatest accomplishments in your life.