Fun incorrect quotes from the self-aware club, draw if you want, but either way, I hope it makes you smile.
Jevil: On the count of three, whatās your favorite cake?
Jevil & Monica: One, two, three-
Jevil & Monica: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks!
Chara: Our turn, Nara! One, two, three-
Chara: Chocolate Lava!
Nara: Iāve never had cake before. What is cake?
Kris: That is the saddest thing I have ever heard in my life.
Stanley: sad noises
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Spamton: Why does Chara always do the laundry so loudly?
Monica: So everyone knows that no one helps them out in the house.
Chara, in the distance: slams the washing machine shut
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Stanley: I hope no one lowkey hates me.
Stanley: Highkey hate me. Hate me with every fiber of your being.
Stanley: Go big or go home.
Nara: That's what I DO for a LIVING -
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Monica: Who's in charge here?
Stanley, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.
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Chara, laying in bed: Get out of my room.
Jevil, standing just outside of the door frame: Iām not in your room.
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Kris: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....
Nara: ....
Mariella: .....
Jevil: ......
Sans: ..Who?
Kris: That's the thing we don't-
Everyone stares at Sans
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Jevil: holding a salt packet Itās just a little sodium chloride.
Nara: Actually Jevil, itās salt.
Jevil: Thatās what I said, sodium chloride.
Nara: Uh Jevil, that would be salt.
Nara: takes salt packet from Jevil This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little pest.
Jevil: Kris, can you get Noelle -
Kris: Sorry, buddy, you're on your own.
Jevil: THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS - !
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Sans: Are you a cuddler?
Chara: I'm a machine of death and destruction.
Sans:
Chara: ...Yeah, I'm a cuddler.
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Spamton: Kris's first detention, I'm so proud.
Frisk: Whoa, back up. Why did they get detention?
Nara: Because they're an idiot.
Mariella, terrified: They can do that??
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Spamton: Ah [$$$$], I forgot.
Niko: Forgot what?
Spamton: How do you expect me to answer that?
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Nara: Hey, Niko. What kind of flowers do you prefer?
Niko: I like sunflowers.
Nara, pulling out a bouquet of Venus Flytraps: Well, drat-
Niko: HUH?!
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Spamton: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!
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Nara: Weāve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Kris will and will not eat.
Chara: Grass? Yes!
Nara: Moss? Yes!!
Chara: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Nara: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Chara: Worms? Sometimes!
Nara: Rocks? Usually nah.
Chara: Twigs? Usually!
Nara: Frisk's cooking? Inconclusive!
Stanley: How did you... test this?
Nara: You just hand them stuff and say āeat thisā and if they eat it, they eat it.
Stanley: ... I donāt know how to feel about this.
Frisk: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
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Monica: Sans is not allowed to violate the dress code, even on 'casual' Fridays.
Monica: No matter how many times you say please, Sans. We won't put any of the hats you've been asking about into the dress code.
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the squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered
Stanley: Youāre acting pretty carefree for someone whoās lifeās at stake. Whoās to say you arenāt the killer?
Chara: Itās a murder, not a tax audit. Iāll be fine.
Spamton: What about Niko? Nobody ever suspects Niko!
Niko: Well what about Mariella? They have a gun!
Mariella: Stanley has a knife.
Stanley: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! stabs Spamton in the arm
Spamton: screams
Sans: could you stop? we got bigger fish to fry here!
Undyne: HOW DID I GET HERE?!
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Spamton: Talking to Monica Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Welcome to my abode. I'm glad you could join me.
Sans: But this is my abode.
Spamton: ...
Spamton: Welcome to my abode, I'm so happy to have you, guest.
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Monica: Why is there blood everywhere?
Kris: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.
Monica: You stabbed someone?!
Kris: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.
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Jevil: Stanley, how could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day?
Stanley: It... It didn't take me the whole day...
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Mariella: is throwing stones at Spamton's window
Spamton: You have a phone for a reason, Mariella!
THUD
Spamton: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY WINDOW?!
Mariella: YOU NEVER ANSWER IT!
Spamton: Oh... shudders in PTSD
Jevil: YOU COULD TEXT HIM!
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Spamton: What, in the name of sanity, have you got on your head?
Kris: It's a fez, I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.
Stanley: snatches the fez, throws it in the air
Spamton: shoots it
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Spamton, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!
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Nara: You read my diary?
Spamton: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.
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Sans: Iāve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the "power nap" button. I donāt set up alarms, I set up timers, Jevil.
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Stanley: Someoneās trying to break in. Call the cops!
Jevil: loads shotgun I got this.
Stanley: Last week you fell up the stairs, what do you mean-
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Monica: Spamton, what are you doing?
Spamton: shaking a cat shaped piggy bank Iām just trying to figure out how much change I have inside.
Monica: You could always take it out and count it.
Spamton: Whereās the fun in that?
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Kris: dangling from a rope over a pit of fire Remember when I said Iād tell you when weāre in too deep?
Jevil: Yes?
Kris: Weāre in too deep.
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Kris: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-
Nara: Eyy, homie!
Chara: But then there's cootie...
Sans: Die.
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Niko: What is wrong with you?
Nara: Loaded question. Elaborate.
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Sans: Iām so happy two of my favorite people are getting along now.
Monica: Uh, Jevil and Stanley are not getting along.
Sans: Theyāre not trying to kill each other.
Monica: You may have a point.
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Spamton: Picks up hammer and breaks ringing cell phone, screaming.
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Spamton: Nothing in life is free.
Mariella: Love is free.
Monica: Knowledge is free.
Stanley: Friendship is free.
Chara: Self-respect is free.
Sans: Everything's free if you don't pay for it.
The Squad: ...
Monica: Sans, that's illegal-
Spamton: No, let them finish!
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Chara: Do you even know what an amulet is?
Frisk: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions!
Chara: Frisk, those are omelettes.
Frisk: Oh. Then Iāve got nothing.
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Stanley: Monica, I sense hostility.
Monica: Good, because I hate you.
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Niko: The ritual. To preform it requires a sacrifice.
Sans: Sacrifice? I nominate Monica.
Monica: Wait, what?
Sans: Because you're little, you'll fit on a barbecue.
Monica: I'm 5'9, it's like average height in most of the world!
Niko: Its not that kind of of sacrifice guys!
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Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut?
Jevil: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be awesome.
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Sans: So whatās the plan?
Stanley: I donāt know. Youāre smart, points at Chara theyāre mean, come up with something.
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Jevil, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.
Monica: Do you think other people canāt hear you?
Jevil: Well, yeah, I've lived alone for the past... good grief.
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Monica: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Frisk: Maybe a bit tipsy?
Niko: Drunk.
Jevil: Wasted.
Spamton: Dead.
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Nara, texting: Answer your phone
Frisk, texting back: Wait a minute, I canāt find my phone
Nara: Understood
Nara, 5 minutes later: Youāre a terrible person. You know youāre killing me. Youāre killing me, Frisk.
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Sans: Am I going to far?
Kris: No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now youāre going to prison.
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Jevil to Stanley: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just...
Frisk: Cockroach ankles!
Jevil: Ye- uh, what?
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Spamton: We have to plan, we have to figure something out.
Jevil: Spamton, when have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all chaos breaks loose.
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Nara, trying their first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY!
Spamton, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.
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Chara, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, Monica.
Monica, not looking up from their coffee: Good morning, problem child.
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Jevil: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?
Frisk: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Jevil: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.
Frisk: But I heard a siren.
Mariella: That was Niko.
Niko: Sorry, I got nervous.
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Spamton: Question, how difficult would it be to bowl in a bee suit?
Sans: Not that hard, I don't think, as long as you can move.
Nara: I'd assume as hard as it is to bowl in a maid outfit.
Nara: Wouldn't be any harder, but you'd get some WEIRD looks.
Monica: Are. Are you speaking from experience.
Nara: No!
Nara:
Nara: ....Maybe.
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Frisk: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Mariella: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Jevil: FLOOR IT!!
Frisk: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Mariella: YOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Frisk: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FREAKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Chara: DO IT!
Mariella: NO-
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Nara: You look mentally ill.
Monica: I am. Letās go.
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Curie: Unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.
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Kris: So what, now Iām just supposed to do everything that Frisk does? What if they jump off a cliff?
Sans: If Frisk were to jump off a cliff, they would have done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if you see Frisk jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Kris: You jump off a cliff.
Sans: Gladly, provided Frisk did first.
Frisk: I actually can't math, I just reset a bunch.
Kris: STOP -
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Sans: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.
Kris: What's wrong with you??
Sans: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention.
Stanley: No, they mean other than that.
Sans: Ohhhhhh.
Sans: I haven't slept in 4 days.