I have to say that, to me, this seems like a strange way of writing a novel/shortstory. It reads more like a voice actor's script since there's only one point of view & only one speaker. The other half of the conversation is missing, as is commonly done in VA scripts. But at the same time, there's writer commentary built in like a traditional story-telling (e.g., "said a worried Aiko"). Was this supposed to be a VA script originally?
EDIT: Read some more of it over at webtoons, so I get why just one voice, now. But I think it needs a lot more storytelling from the writer to turn the monologue into a story that makes sense and helps to paint the scene for the reader.
