Okay, before I start, I want to ask you something. Do you have something to drink? Or have to go to the bathroom?
Okay? Good! So buckle up, you're in for a ride.
Ever since the Corona pandemic started, we saw many crazy things. BUT, out of the most outrageous things that could happen to us of all this time, nobody expected that toilet paper shortage would be something we had to suffer.
So while I was spending time at my day job doing nothing, I was thinking. Why would any reasonable person buy so much toilet paper in the first place? And while I was questioning the complex human mind for quite some time, I finally found the solution.
So put on your tinfoil hats! Because this will go crazy.
So, usually, you buy one pack at all (sometimes two, you know, for a friend). AND THAT'S IT. BUT
, but what if you don't use it for your buns hun. Now you're asking me, “Well, gee, if we don't use it for our rear pillows, for what else?" And I will gladly answer this for you, my friend. Here it is:
In Season 3, Episode 14 of Community, the character Pierce built a suit out of pillows for combat purposes.
I know, I know, this doesn´t make any sense. Pillows don´t have anything in common with toilet paper. But now, I want you to throw your thin foil hats out of the window and replace them with the sombrero sized ones.
What if we cover ourselves, not with pillows, but with TOILET PAPER
And why would we be doing that? There's just one answer: WE'RE GOING TO COMBAT THE VIRUS!!
And how are we supposed to do that while covered in toilet paper?
The answer is quite simple, actually: The suit protects us.
Imagine this. Somebody sneezes on you unexpectedly, you don´t know if he/ she is infected, but nothing happens to you. And why is it that? Because of the multi-layered softness of the paper that´s on your body. You can even touch the person next to you because there´s no skin to touch, thanks to the paper.
But wait, THERE'S MORE!!
If somebody dies (I hope not. This just sucks.) and you can't bury them, fear not.
Because of the suit, you can just mummify the unfortunate victim. So, after this is over, and we're all allowed to go outside again without any issues, we can bury them easier. Also, after all, this is over, we can shred the suits in confetti and throw them around the town.
So, what do you guys think? Pretty brilliant, am I right?
- It all makes sense now!
- Yeah... No.
- You okay there, buddy?
Votes are public.
I just want to say thank you for listening to this (crazy?) conspiracy theory of mine. Have a lovely April fool's day, everyone.