I check out the video and there is only so many way you can do a slide show style video after all but I'll give you my pointers, but first, what programs was use to make it? Since some of the stuff I am about to mention might be hard to accomplish based on the program, here is my take:
The intro has a cool animated style with the logo and then is transition to a really retro (80's style) background so is kind of weird. I rather the logo would had vanish or 'flipped' to the 'what is it?' and then the other text would fade into this while the triangle shower is still going AND then is transition into the slide with Alistor.
Never use the 'spiral out' kind of effect for long sentences as it looks a bit weird, try more subtle effect such as wipe out or fade. The text of 'The story follows a hopeless student' didn't actually need that animation. Just have the entire slide do a transition (moving to the side to reveal something behind it are quite popular).
The time window to read text is sometimes a bit to fast (I can read it, but as rule of thumb I add 2 seconds more from my reading time and I tend to read it outloud as if someone is saying it to measure a bit of speed of easy reading). I like the slide effect as to give an overview of the comic and pages.
There are other miscelanous thing that can be fix (text placement, font, speed of some of the slide) but I think the details on top are what I can say will make the video better. First impression in a kickstarter are important and reason I am giving a stronger feedback as oppose to if this was a promotion video for the series in tapas (the fixes could still apply there too).
If you need any help on making video let me know, unlike comic at least making videos I know a thing or two xP