Wednesday Ash Webcomic Reviews [status: OPEN / New CLOVERLINES!]

[iasucomic]

"The Vapors, for what it is and what intends to do, is unassailable" - WednesdayAsh
If my comic were a video game, I'd put this on the box. Heh heh.

You make a good point about dialogue being overly natural. I'll keep this in mind.

You're right that the meaning of the scores he gives is vague. I actually kept it vague intentionally because I think the specifics of his judgements are less important than the fact that hes running this judgement algorithm at all. However, I can see why a bunch of seemingly meaningless numbers with no further explanation could be unsatisfying.

Though there's only one chapter out right now, The Vapors is intended to be a series of vignettes about these characters, not an ongoing story, so it's no surprise that it doesn't serve well as a hook for a larger narrative. Other characters might involve themselves in future stories but mostly the focus will be, like you said, just these two living comfortable damaged lives. What can I say, I find it a compelling premise.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I know it must've taken you a while and I really appreciate it. I hope you'll check our Chapter 2 when it drops next month.

[Jewe11s]

Oh! Quick question. The whole reason behind the crazy scene changes in chapter one was originally planned out with printing in mind. I wanted the act of physically turning the page to assist the reader in the transition between worlds. For future reference, would that still be too much?

[WednesdayAsh]

Have you read Jeff Lemire's All-New Hawkeye? He manages to maintain that dual parallel narrative (with wildly different artstyles!) through out 100ish pages, it's a good reference if you are attempting to do a similar thing. I can see a format where you are consistently placing the "real world" on the left and the "Fantasy on the right'", maybe even have a break the 4th wall moment where the character falls from left to right, a kind of unique comic book move

I can see that happening, try printing a rough line are ver of that see if it works. Hell, print your current comic in draft mode to see if it works, have you tried that?

[WednesdayAsh]

Just remember Ben. The premise has to be interesting to the readers as well

I check it out when it comes, i like the world.

[WednesdayAsh]

w! You're right, there is a big plot coming, but I've planned the whole story out for years and hopefully it won't be as jarring a

I will! Can't wait for what you have in store!

[WednesdayAsh]

Critique of
S.A.'s
"Wingless: The Dovecote Princess, chapter 3: Ruffled Feathers"

Charming as hell.

First of all, the storybook meets modern western animation art here is stunning. It has that traditional on the paper look on mobile devices, that is completely appropriate for the feel of the story. The paneling is solid, doesn't try to do to much, just enough to support the story. The art is consistent in directing the eyes of the reader with the movements of the eyes of the protagonist's itself and other objects by direction or intention, a good example to follow for the web-comics artists on this site.

All of the unnatural manga moves such as change in background to festive pattern and dramatic shading, feel completely appropriate to what is going on. Kudos to the writer as well for the brilliant no filler conversation between the protagonist and the book as well as the meaningful pairing of shot to caption (for ex. mercenary talk paired with a shot of the protagonist's feet) is something i would like to see done consistently in other works, again a positive for Wingless.

However when the fight scene happens, it kinda gets...gratuitous. It jars the reader into shock, and of course there is a time and place for that, but here's an argument of why it can be a bad thing: It took me out of the story.

Yes, the scene was awesomely choreographed, desperate, and dramatic, all you can ask for from a fight scene. But it made me forget about the important conversation that outlined her (and the books) motivations and characterization in the beginning of the chapter. That great fight scene swallowed the good important story information!

I can imagine this kind of intensity being appropriate for an actual test with actual stakes, instead of just trying to get an ingredient. It does a disservice to the eventual climactic battle, to have all battles be depicted intensely. Humans don't detect stimuli, they detect change in stimuli. So if all fight scenes are awesome, nothing is. It's just par for the course.

Sidebar on the PG-13 rating: This isn't PG-13, its a soft R.

To pass for PG-13 you have to omit all actual depiction of realistic injurious acts. You can show the wound, not show the stabbing or the process of injury. An exception if its a "magical" attack (from bolts up to a lightsaber). If you truly are going for a "PG-13" standard for your tapastic releases, you need to drop all of the above awesome fight scenes!

Not worth it, just don't claim it to begin with.

I am genuinely looking forward to Wingless as it develops, very large potential here for a huge and expansive fantastic world!

Just don't undermine it with gore.

[WednesdayAsh]

Critique of
mg78's
"GRUNK"

GRUNK is dumbb, GRUNK is STRONG! GRUNK is funnn.

The comic put a smile on my face more often than not and works for what it is, the non-dialogue story telling is great in GRUNK, I can totally see this as a storyboard for an animated show, or something like that. The sense of continuity between panels is well preserved, which is important considering how the sum of it parts makes no logical sense at all, which is fine.

As a series of absurd wordless situations around a Hulk-like monster its great, but when it puts words in, especially at the absolute beginning of the adventure, it detracts from what's good immediately. The lettering choices I don't agree with. In the colored chapter the artist makes the reader go coast to coast, left to right, to read on the wide panel, which makes my eyes hurt trying to read it. Keep lettering like that center panel if possible, or in a bubble associated with a character. Floating letters like that are hard to read!

I'm looking forward to more GRUNK for sure, perhaps get in touch with a writer who can flesh out the world somemore or set some time yourself to do it. Cause lovable character and no story, kinda makes GRUNK a throwaway.

It has the potential for more.

• Wednesday Ash

[TheSignPainter]

Type: Arc (Only a few pages in, so far.)
Webcomic Name: Let's Go on an Adventure!
Creative Team: Katelyn Billings
Link: http://tapastic.com/series/letsgoonanadventure
Pages: Anything past page 2 please
Other: This is a comic I made for the purpose of experimenting with the comic format. The style is inconsistent at the moment but I'm working to narrow it down as fast as possible.

(I can't tell if you're closed or open please forgive me if you're closed...)

[WednesdayAsh]

Critique of
Zannen00's
"IMAGICA=verse"

If they're two things that get me weak in the knees its earnest amateur attempts and magical girls and IMAGICA=verse has enough of those to make me forgive its immediate shortcomings in art and characterization. But yea essentially the two biggest cons in this series is art and characterization. We're still in the salad days of the protagonist's magical girl career at this point so we might find special properties to her, i'd prefer sooner rather than latter however.

The world building in this world is admirable, it is reliant on the readers familiarity with magical girl tropes which might limit the appeal to this series, but if the series continues on the deconstructing path it should be good. However you might want to learn to reconstruct when you are done stripping the magical girl genre for parts and avoid falling into the abyss of utter cynicism.

A reading recommendation for the artist would be Mark Millar's The Ultimates run, of which the current Avengers movies are based upon. In it, Mr. Millar dismantles the idea of what it means to be a western superhero, but mends it whole by the end of his first arc both showing the absudities of the genre and finishing with the strengths. I could represent a good pathway for Imagica=verse!

And oh yeah...

Get better at drawing, obvs.

• Wednesday Ash

[mg78]

uhm, interesting the note about the lettering, i didnt notice what could do a "coast to coast" , in the begining...
about the story, it's already done and it ll be showed step by step in the comic, sometime in the future (ive got no intention to waste it, in few pages)
thx 4 the opinions!

[Jewe11s]

Ooh neat! I'll have to look up All-New Hawkeye! Sounds fascinating!

I'll definitely take your comments into consideration if (and when!!!!) I get this comic printed. I'll test both versions of Chapter 1 amongst friends and fellow artists to see which is more effective in a physical format before finalizing it.

Again, thanks for the tips!

[winglesscomic]

Hi!! Thanks for taking the time to read and give your honest opinion!! I really appreciate it. I'll pass this stuff along to my writer to digest! Thank you!

[WednesdayAsh]

Critique of
Katelyn Billings'
"Let's Go On an Adventure!"
First 9 pages

Yeah! Let's!

Even though the author requested I review from page 2, I'll go from the cover instead as early installation weirdness doesn't phase me and is very normal when dealing with amateur webcomics. It's very forgivable. By the by cover should have a focusing point in the center, i suggest a shadow in the light, or just straight up redrawing the cover so the main protagonist is facing the camera.

I value the tension between the two characters as it gives a background to what is happening and serves as a vehicle for characterization and world building. Sometimes webcomics start with a establishing prologue or even just go in medias res, this is a valid alternative if you can make two fully formed characters from the off. And of course sometimes webcomics waste these beginning pages on atmosphere, no lie, i'm guilty of it XD

I wish the bubble tail-ends would be closer to the speakers mouth. A particular problem at page 3 on the 2nd panel, the purple character has two bubbles, but the first one just hovers there (why not link them up?). Art wise, I am very impressed throughout, considering this is an early attempt at webcomics. Refine this and you shall go far, and stop apologizing for it, just do it! You have nothing to be ashamed about!

The non-textual story telling could use more shine, but again still beginning pages and you need a lot of direct text information to spill so again forgivable.

Looking forward to the progress of this webcomic, at the current state nothing to egregious to comment upon...

Cause there's no inciting incident yet.

Sooner than later please, like next page sooner if possible.

• Wednesday Ash

[WednesdayAsh]

Current status: OPEN for three requests!

[WednesdayAsh]

Im looking forward for what comes next for sure

[joannekwan]

Hey, it'd be great to hear your thoughts on one of my series
Type: arc
Webcomic name: Erie Waters
Creative team: me, myself, and I
Link to series: http://tapastic.com/series/Erie-Waters
Which pages / which gag: You can focus on the first chapter "Ian" but are more than welcome to continue up through what I have.
Other: Happy Holidays!

[phen]

Hello there! Congratulations with Entytas! If you're still accepting arcs, I deeply appreciate your thoughts on my series. It's my first time working with a focused story and small cast in a comic format. I've been working on it since earlier this year so the art style fluctuates a bit.

Type: Arc
Webcomic name: There's No Such Thing as Jason -- I.T.
Creative team: Single creator (writer and artist, me)
Link to series: There's No Such Thing as Jason -- I.T. >>
Which pages / which gag: The first chapter (pages 1 - 26, skip the mini pages 'midnight' and 'holiday')
Other: I'm most concerned with coherency. Does the arc seem to build anything or is it all too vague?

All my gratitude for your time!

[TheQotfo]

Hie!

Type: Arc
Webcomic name: Alliance
Creative team: Alokparna Sen - Writer, Kaushani Majumder - Artist
Link to series: http://tapastic.com/series/alliance
Which pages / which gag: The whole thing if you can (we have 17 pages)
Other: Would like some thoughts on the story and overall appeal

Thanks

[WednesdayAsh]

CLOSED pending 3 critiques

[Marvin]

Damn, I keep missing it ! But it's a good idea to close and open requests. Makes you more approachable than a huge list were I'm like "eeeeeeh. no. Too bad." Good job with your reviews by the way ! (small thing though : when you write the title at the beginning, could you link it to the actual comic ? People are more likely to click on it if it's right there and they don't have to take extra actions to find it)