What do you think about my novel so far?

eternityoz 2025-01-24 00:29:01 UTC #1

This is the first novel I've worked on and I was hoping to get some feedback on it. If you're willing to spare the time, I'm open to any comments, criticisms, suggestions, or anything else that pops into your mind while reading!

https://tapas.io/series/Origin-Zero/info

Rigalance 2025-01-24 02:46:13 UTC #2

Hey Hey! what is up! I read the first three chapters of your book and well it's pretty good very solid! action is pretty solid as well and your writing is also pretty good and your characters seem likeable and pretty cool world as well!

So my rating for your book 8/10!

so if you want to review my work here you go!

eternityoz 2025-01-24 23:26:40 UTC #3

I've read the first three chapters of yours as well and I'm liking it so far! The characters seem very interesting and the overall atmosphere can wrap in the reader! I'd give you a solid 7/10!

oceanicwriteslove 2025-01-25 04:42:54 UTC #4

Hey!

So, I fell in love with some of writing, and I'm subscribing for sure. I love subscribing to underrated artists.

However, if you don't mind, I've got some suggestions. Maybe we could get to know the characters deeper in the first page? I like the historical information but I don't think they're gonna hook a reader who came to see what the book was about. There's not really much that will hook a reader, in my opinion, in the first page or so. I'd also recommend 3rd person perspective occasionally, and hooking the reader by letting them find out something the main character doesn't already know. Readers seem to enjoy having advantage over the main character.

I do genuinely enjoy this story, and will continue to read it. Thanks for introducing us to it, and keep up the good work!

All the best sweets!
Cece~

eternityoz 2025-01-25 05:39:42 UTC #5

Thank you for your opinions and suggestions!

I'll definitely be keeping this in mind as I work on fleshing out the characters in both future chapters and revisions! If you're willing, I'd love to hear your opinions as the story continues and I hope you're able to enjoy the story to come!

oceanicwriteslove 2025-01-25 14:15:59 UTC #6

Definitely would be willing. Will keep up with the story and message you with suggestions from time to time.

Cece~

eternityoz 2025-01-26 03:24:19 UTC #7

@oceanicwriteslove

Hey! I took your advice to heart and revised / restructured both parts of the first chapter! I'd love to hear what you think of them!

There's also two new paragraphs in "Calamity Event - II" that tie back to the beginning to help tie up the first arc if you've gotten that far!

oceanicwriteslove 2025-01-26 08:09:43 UTC #8

I'm headed to the mall Starbucks, will read through and text ya when I sit down and get wifi.

Cece~

oceanicwriteslove 2025-01-26 10:22:52 UTC #9

Hello luv!

Right so, I'm at Starbucks, and I got the Wifi (happy me don't have to waste data :DD)

I'm absolutely so delighted with the first chapter improvement. I adore the way it's explained now; really hooked me in to continue reading. I love the new paragraphs in Calamity Event - II as well, the chapter really feels complete now - compared to what it was lacking for. The way it's written too is just brilliant. My email is oceanicwritestruelove@gmail.com , write me if you want me to proofread before you post, or if you've updated a new chapter if you want. Will continue to keep updated!

Cece~