Why am I attached to characters that look or act like my ex?

Sakura.Slytherin 2021-01-12 21:17:24 UTC #1

Why am i attached to characters that look or act like my ex? So whenever I watch movies, read books, read mangas and one of the characters remind me of my ex emotionally or physical wise, i get attached to them.I didn't really notice this in the beginning but now as I look at all my fictional comfort characters, I realize they are all mostly similar to my ex in one way or another. The same thing happens when I am listening to music and one or more of the lines are similar to what happened between us/what me and my ex had. My heart physically hurts very badly it's as if someone is squeezing my heart and tears come out involuntarily. Idk if this is only happening to me or what (and i mean only the physical heart pain part) that's it...

BreakingChalk 2021-01-12 21:22:13 UTC #2

It's pretty normal. I liked characters/stories/ etc that reminded me of people I had a troublesome story with, same with music.
Now that you've noticed that yourself, watching other content every once in a while would be good, the happiest the better.

NickRowler 2021-01-12 21:42:05 UTC #3

Some people in general tend to prefer certain types of people. And maybe the reason why you were attracted to your ex in the first place is that she had said characteristics.

You might also being experiencing a post-breakup blues. Where everything will just remind you of your ex. I am not a therapist, but I would recommend looking into ways to coup with this. If it is putting a lot of toll on you emotionally, maybe also look into talking to a real therapist or guidance counselor.

Van 2021-01-13 14:29:08 UTC #4

You either miss your ex or that personality type is simply your type, which is why you get attracted to characters who act like that

Puck 2021-01-13 15:29:32 UTC #5

Probably the same reason why you liked your ex in the first place

disqette 2021-01-13 15:46:22 UTC #6

Maybe you just have a certain type? It could be that you were attracted to your ex because they're the type of person you like.

A lot of my anime husbandos are similar to the type of men I date. Embarassing but... We all have a type

surenlicious 2021-01-13 16:11:46 UTC #7

I am not a therapist, but the brain likes things it knows. It goes towards what is familiar, and it doesn't matter if those familiar traits are good or bad.

Sure it could be a aftermath of what you enjoyed (or perhaps might not have) about your ex, but it will take time for you to process what you've been through. Its important to process, as to not enter a cycle of habits that may lead into wrongful projections on new people or heck, see their echoes everywhere you look.

I wish you luck though!