Why are we so drawn to cynicism?

[akitsukino]

I think Shen said it best!

One of the great things about the Tapas community is how supportive it is. I've only ever really had one noticeably rude comment before. It came at the end of a bunch of other very helpful comments, and I guess other people thought it was a bit out of line too as the comment was flagged and taken down within a day. It wasn't even that bad, but it still sent me reeling a bit. "Oh my gosh! Do I do that thing this person accused me of? That sounds like something I would do!"

If a lot of people told me "You're good and you're on the right path!" I'd probably think, "I guess, but I did mess up X,Y and Z last week." But if one person said "You're messing up." I'd think "Yeah, they've got a point." I know why I do this; deep seated insecurities and real, actual anxiety problems. But what makes other people do this?

Its almost like we perceive some kind of hidden truth in cynicism. " These people are way too nice to point out the problem, but these guys aren't afraid to tell it like it is!"

Not everyone who is saying something cynical or somewhat "mean" is necessarily wrong. Sometimes it can lead to great discussions. But it definitely does seem like the one with the nastiest things to say is sometimes the one that draws the biggest crowd.

Why do you think this is? Is it just the nature of the internet? Is there something in us that makes us a bit more drawn to anger? How do you you perceive this stuff

[Stardust-clearwater]

I think part of it is just because its socially unacceptable to be unsatisfied with something. Or rather, be unsatisfied or cause unsatisfaction. Cynical things in stories and comics give an outlet for the more negative emotions.

[Jenny-Toons]

Based on what I see these days, a lot of people mistake being "cynical" with being "realistic", and those two are not necessarily the same.

Of course, I can see why this happens. When you hear someone say "things aren't all bad", it sounds like they're ignoring the bad things that happen in the world. Hence, when someone points out "actually, that's not true" and begins to list off bad things, people see that are being more realistic.

That's why I see why people are drawn to it -- because they believe themselves to be realistic if they are.

But there has to be a balance between the two of them. It's ignorant to believe that everything is alright, but it's just as equally ignorant to believe everything is going to Hell. It's just not that Black & White.

Being realistic is not being cynical or being positive. Being realistic is knowing both bad and good happen in life and acknowledging that.

I just prefer to take everything with a grain of salt, and that includes both "optimistic" and "cynical" feedback. If someone can't explain to me how I can improve outside of saying "you messed up" or "you did good" -- I don't take that advice, period.

Edit: I also forgot to mention that even with this, there is still the grey area of how people proceed positive and negative things (and that can definitely be connected to how differently everyone's brains work -- depression, emotional experiences, mental health, etc.) But I just went over it with a general sense.

[TimCaloweh]

If things were meant to be perfect, we'd be in the fourth dimension. Nothing is perfect so pointing out mistakes is a large part of life. Our art can evolve when we feel it needs something more or less. Our writing can change in tone as we progress in the story we tell or the story we live.

But it's up to us to accept...

[teacup_creations]

I think it's also got to do with how our brains are wired too.

We're wired to remember bad experiences more than good ones so over time you become more and more scared to believe that everything is a good as it seems because your brain remembers all the time that it didn't.... So in the end it becomes more of an active choice to be optimistic rather than the default, if that makes sense?

[mariusthered]

your answer is easy to find, just look at the society around us. we have negative influences pouring into our brains constantly. entertainment shows full of violence are called "entertainment" but then you switch the channel to the news and hear about a shooting or bombing and that's "crime" leave the house and a guy on the corner giving out flowers for peace "he's a nut" (but in truth so far he is the only possessive thing in that scene).

my point is as we grow in this society most of us are so surrounded by negative stuff we become attuned to it, we zone into it..

then we have the internet, with a mix of people who will tell you things.
people who are talented and want to help you improve.
people who are talented , but don't want to see anybody better than them, so give bad advice.
people who are not talented, but nobody has been honest enough to tell them that, so they try to help but tell people the wrong stuff.
people who just hate everything they do so not matter what will puke that negative crap at any one to make themselves feel better (lots and lots of these)

not easy sifting threw all this, it a talent in it self to learn.

personally as an artist i would say only listen to people if you can see they can back up their advice. if someone tells you your stuff is bad in some way, but they have worse or less experience than you, why listen to them?

[Draconic]

No one care or remember about your past mistakes, they only care about how you are right now!

Even when they're using your past to attack you, they still don't really care about that.
They only hate you because they thought you are happy and they aren't

If you can put this is your brain then you will feel the world is a better place. (´ ∀ ` *)

[TimCaloweh]

Turn around, face the world, and tell me everything's alright. Looking at the bad is us looking for something better. It ain't wired to our brains unless we've actually felt the bad. There are steps to seeing good, and the first is realizing the bad.

[teacup_creations]

I'm not saying that everything is alright, I'd have to have led a sheltered life for that to happen. But more often than not the bad thing that happens is an outlier in a sea of good, it's just our brain don't tend to remember it. I'm not stating it as an opinion but rather as a studied and recorded phenomenon.

I'm just saying that it's a lot easier to default to cynicism than optimism partially because of how we are as people.

[Jenny-Toons]

Looking at the bad is us looking for something better.

There's a limit to this, and that's where we have to meet in a balance. Because while it's true humans strive for better things and while it's true that there is bad, we also have to recognize that we don't have to constantly look at the bad. When we do that too often, we can affect our ability to see the good as well.

It ends up as "ok, this might be good, but later on, it's going to be bad"

It's good to not believe everything is alright. But it's also good to take a step back from the bad and focus on the good when we have that option.

[TimCaloweh]

I'm not looking to fix what ain't broken. But we got a lot of things broken at the moment. We got leaders telling us they got our interests at heart and the people who put them there ready to defend them tooth and nail. When they leave, what's stopping the next generation from making that same mistake. It took a stupid idea to put an idiot into power. It took a hateful idea to put a monster in power. It took a justifiable fear to put a tyrant in power. I'm just waiting for the next guy and what it means for the next generation.

If we don't see the problem, we'll be oblivious to what happens next. And it all starts with a choice of whether or not we're willing to look the other way.

Edit: You can't stop me from worrying about the future. But i'll try to smile more often.

[shazzbaa]

"Why do we focus on the negative?"
I think? it's a survival instinct. Like, if you go into the woods five times and don't get attacked by wolves, and then the 6th time you DO get attacked by wolves, it's much more beneficial to your survival to remember and focus on that time that it didn't work out and plan for that, instead of going "well 5 out of 6 ain't bad odds." We want to learn and to avoid making deadly mistakes, and I'm guessing that as social creatures, "not being welcome in our social circle" ends up being perceived as a deadly mistake. So someone says "you're just whiny and needy" and the brain sees that outlier as something worth looking into, for safety -- if you ARE doing something that might upset your social group, it's better for your survival to take it to heart!!

This is obviously non-ideal in some social situations but becomes a MUCH BIGGER problem on the internet because numbers get larger than we can really process. 5 out of 10 people telling you that you're being annoying is worth looking into and seeing if you have something to fix. 5 out of 12,000 people telling you that you're being annoying is freakin' nothing! Negligible! But our brains can't parse that number, so we're just like "oh, geez, 5??? that's a lot!"

[Jenny-Toons]

No one is saying to look the other way or to ignore the things that are happening.
That's not the point of this thread or the point of what me or Tea have said.

Yes -- we definitely understand that the world is going to shit at the moment. I think most of us comprehend that the world is not perfect. And yes -- we have to take steps to get better, to improve, to innovate, and to inspire.

But the point is to have balance to all of that. Because while we can definitely see the problem and try to find ways to solve said problem, there has to be time to allow our brains to rest from all of that. Because we can't focus 24/7 on the bad all of the time. It's unhealthy.

It's not realistic.

Anyhow, this is getting out of hand, so let's steer away from this boardening topic and go back to the point of the thread -- because this is turning less into "why we're drawn to it" and more into "why we should or should not be drawn to it"

[TimCaloweh]

Fine. We're more drawn to cynicism cause we got problems and we take it out those who can't respond. We have that in mind but are to ignorant to realize it cause if we cared enough we would have asked.

And it ain't unrealistic. It was a lot harder back then and we lived with it. Acceptance was the key but we've been doing it too often now. That's unrealistic but we accepted that too.

[Hexigate]

But we already live in four dimensions...

[bakasama25]

We live in an age of disenchantment. Things right now don't seem as great as in the 90's That or people grew up to cynical.

[ISNEKO]

I'm pretty negative. I think that's why. Although, when I say "this shit sucks" I try my best to explain why.

But I also I only talk like that to people I already know.

[375]

I think its because we tend to believe that cynicism is seeing the truth while being overly positive (like myself) is being blind to the problems of the world or not wanting to fully accept them.

[Hexigate]

While fatigue of negativity overload is well-recognized, I can say for myself that I get fatigued from positivity overload as well. That's why I endorse Jenny-Toon's "Perfectly Balanced" initiative.

Jenny-Toons is Thanos confirmed

[bakasama25]

She's the Greek god of death? I sense no malice from her.