Why do i draw? Artistic crisis

[Klaustasya]

Shortly saying, i just want to share with you what's recently happening.
I've hit the bottom of art, i lost the reason for why i draw.
When i started when i was 14 i was just drawing my own fantiasies and stories based on my friends, later on quit because i found myself having problems with people in real life, i lost my friend and so i stopped drawing characters based on them. So i changed.
When my psychologist suggested me start drawing again to let my feelings out, i re-found how funny it was and i was so proud even of very low quality things, because it was just fun.
Things changed again when i started posting my art online, and even didn't start notice that at some point i was drawing more to de aknowledged by my internet friends, it grew bigger and wanted to be noticed on social, it grew even more toxic and start doing it for likes and fame, i got totally amazed by the popularity of bigger artists and started thinking "wow, i want my art to look even better so that i can be famous too".
And this is was so wrong to begin with, because it was basically valueing popularity more than my art.
So i came to a point where i don't know anymore why i am drawing, keep getting into small art blocks or hardly being satisfied with what i draw, and it feels like a hit a giant rock.
I feel very....bad, nor having a genuine reason for what i draw, still i just can't heart-lightining throw 3 years of drawing and 8 of art schools for this.
I know changes do happen in life, but giving up art it's not a light matter because i'm kind of going throgh a moral crisis with it too. I take this very seriously and depressing.
Not even because i wanted to, as i was scrolling down facebook i found this

And felt so bad about it....
Like i'm not drawing for almost all of the good reasons that are written.
I'm confused and lonely too in this problem, the people i tried talking to didn' quite understand this problem so it feels awful trying to handle it all alone....i probably don't want to give up yet, but all the continue episodes of art block maybe are a sign? If that's so then why do i feel so bad? Do i care or art in its genuine meaning?
All of this is so scary, i don't know if someone here went through such a similiar crisis before, but if not i really don't wish this to anyone because it's something very deep and dark, at least from my point of view.
Usually if you're not interested in drawing anymore or don't feel like it, you'd just put yout heart at ease by naturally not doing it, but for me it's weird: i feel deeply troubled and not at all relaxed.

I need opinions...i think this is the only place where i can talk about this subject.

[VibrantFox]

ive been through this low in a loop lately and it really is awful because i know i kept going through an almost desperation to be like others or draw for attention but what kind of pulled me out was really trying to find what made just me happy about my own art

its tough to explain it but the one thing thats kind of saved me a bit lately is going back to old inspirations and things i used to genuinely enjoy drawing, which as many may call it cringey was sonic and a lot olf my own ocs. like the post from sugaring lifes fb page i was in the drawing for much needed escapism but also because i made art a happy place. at the same time i dont think its one of those things where you can force it. breaks are necessary even though not drawing can feel super weird, or for me it can and its like this odd withdrawal or something.

lately ive been doing just random art, just drawing whatever comes to mind or what im feeling. its been a nice kind of catharsis realizing that amid some of the bad vibes is a happy spot its just finding all the little pieces and pulling them together.

im really sorry if what i said is hard to follow but i really hope you're able to work your way through this. going through the crisis of "why am i drawing" is really tough but im wishing you the best

[Klaustasya]

Thank you very much for your answer!
I remember drawing Pokemon a lot when i was a child and started liking anime and therefore manga drawing because of them.
I don't know what is this to be honest, because if i straightfowardly didn't like to draw i wouldn't even think this situation so in deep, i would just not draw and do something else.
The thing is that, ever since i was younger, wheter it was drawing or video editing.....i always LOVED being in the creative field as a natural impulse, always dreamed about either being a fashion designer or a painter or a comic artist....because art has always been a part of me.
Now i'm so lost to be honest and terrified of discovering that i might not being into drawing anymore. Like literally terrified. I can't accept it.

[Ceru]

I've come across these issues and feelings before but mine never really went as ... deep as yours?

Let me ask you this (and this is something you should ask yourself): why do you feel it's wrong to want to be famous/popular for your art, or get noticed on social media or to get the attention for your skills?

I mean, really, why should artists have to feel like they're... not real if they want recognition? Or want to be famous or popular for it? It's only natural to want recognition for our skills. I mean, actors/actresses want to win the Grammy or become even more famous so they can get better parts and better pay, but you don't see them have a moral dilemma over it.

The best way I can put it is this: people art for different reasons. Just because your reasons are not as say, honorable or less selfish or whatever you want to insert there, as someone else's doesn't make you less than them. It only becomes that when you waste your time and money and the obsession takes over your life and you cannot function as a decent, normal human being.

If you want fame and money for your art and it is what drives you, I don't think you or anyone should ever feel ashamed for it, just anyone as should never feel ashamed that they art to escape into their fantasy because it's better than real life.

[unknown_user]

If you feel bad about too much dependance from likes/subs amounts, I'd suggest to imagine what and how would you draw, if you knew that you'll never show it to anyone. I.e. to imagine how would your art look like without spectators, and move toward this direction.
If the answer will be "I wouldn't draw without showing", maybe it is the sign that this is time to rest from art for a bit and try again later. Or to realise that art in general is just a tool for your social goals, not the purpose itself. And it is a valid answer as well.

About the pic... it is actually ok to be demotivated by "motivation picture". At least, I do it from time to time, too. In such a cases I'm just trying to remember that these pics are not necessarily an example to follow and not an objective truth, they just reflect vision of their authors on how things should be.
It is not shame to draw for likes, attention or fame, cause social acceptance is the base need of human being. It is not shame to draw just because of job needs. But of course, drawing for telling stories from your head and doing art for art itself is not shame, too. The most important is to choose what is suitable to you personally.

[Klaustasya]

Thank you for your words!
To be honest i think that wanting to get better at drawing because you want to EARN popularity is...good? I mean, at least you're doing your best with art. But I DID also enjoyed drawing just for the sake of it, just drawing what i watched in streaming doing paintings etc etc....and, it felt more natural of course, satisfying. I liked it! Now it seems like something within me has changed and it's scary. I was thinking about taking a break from socials because indeed i got pretty much intoxicated and really only looked at the most wrong thing while opening my favorite artists' instagram: the damn numbers of followers. Like i could've watched their art and said "wow i wanna draw like them!!" and not "wow i wanna have the same numbers" ?!.
I think i was caught by the less important thing, and now i won't say that i only care about fame (i've been without socials for a long while because i wanted to genuinely improve) but i don't remember the feeling of drawing something that i want to AND actually like the final result.

[Klaustasya]

I know for sure that art is not just a tool to me, or at least in the past it wasn't a tool at all, i was really drawing (more paintig) because i wanted to!
I don't know what the hell happened but it seems like social medias really took my brain and tossed it in the trash. I was thinking about trying to draw but without posting...but i'm also scared of doing it. I feel like i could seriously freak out if i find out something like "if i don't show it to someone i won't do it" and realise that drawing is.....not something that i soley do because i like it.
Basically i'm afraid of getting to the ugly truth (to me is ugly at least for myself) that i really don't have a reason to draw.

[Ceru]

I wish I have the perfect answer for you, but I don't and I can only go on my own experiences.

Like, I'm a fiercely competitive person, lol. So for me, when I see people's likes or followers and how amazing their skills are, I won't lie, I do get depressed about it, maybe for a few minutes, sometimes a day. Nowadays I don't seem to care as much? But, I always come back to them, wanting to be just as good as them, or better. The important thing for me is that I am continually inspired and motivated by my competitors, my peers, the people I look up to, etc.

What it sounds like to me is that you need to figure out who you are first. Change is scary. Most people are afraid of change. But if you're afraid of change, you're not going to get better. As artists, change is our friend. If we don't change, neither will our art (unless of course, you're totally okay with your art being the same). It sounds like you want to hold on to that feeling that somehow made you feel more genuine as an artist. And that's fine. But to me, it sounds like it's what stopping you.

For example, that may mean you'll have to learn how to let go of the idea you originally did draw for the fun of it. It easier said than done, I know. But, the way I see it, if doing something for 'fun' is holding you back from your truest potential, then you might as well cut it off. From my experience, when I stopped 'doing it for fun' because I wanted to do something with my skills and I needed a fanbase so I can one day leave my 9-5 job, trust me, a lot of things come into perspective really fast, and I improved a lot faster than my 15+ years of 'doing it for fun.' This is where some people may say: you gotta treat your skills/creations/what you want to do as a business. If you don't, you'll find out very quickly it doesn't work.

In a nutshell, I guess for me, it's always been what was more practical in the long run.

You sound young and are probably still confused so what I'm saying may go over your head right now, but if you can, come back to it in a year, two years, three years, and see if you start to get what I'm saying.

And to answer your question, yes, I don't see why it's not good to get better at drawing to earn your popularity.

[Klaustasya]

Well indeed i'm kind of young.
My problem is that i always have an hard time looking for inspiration and motivation to draw, and this is what basically lead me to every art block of course. When i was drawing for the sake of social i was drawing machine but didn't have a critical eye at all. Now that i have one and started wanting to improve my art it was doing okay, then suddenly something happened and when i take a pencil i don't know what the hell am i supposed to do with it. From time to time i also forget what i've learned after doing some art studies, like super reset and it seems like something is wrong with me...

[Ceru]

That's what art is.

For some people, art and improvement is a slow, slow uphill battle. Give yourself some time, take breaks if you have to so your mind can absorb what you learned, and when you have enough studies for comparison, even though it's not much, it'll be something

[amortelito]

I Honestly think that this is just part of the natural process of exhaustion. I'm certainty not dismissing the problem as "this is just a phase". I have seen other post you made and to me seems like you really need a break from overthinking your art and relax. Not even question the core of your motivation but just relax. I feel stupid saying this because I do get the anguish, It is terrifying to feel like you can lose all that hard work. It hurts. And it is terrifying. I would never try to trivialize your feelings.

You won't be losing what you have worked for, your comic is online, your skill is already there and you won't forget how to draw if you take a break. The skill will be there waiting for you. Maybe you would like to explore other areas in art. Like you were saying: maybe try some fashion design for hobby, maybe make handmade accessories with your pre-existing drawings. I found that graphic design was not for me after finishing the 6 years of the damn career!! Then I started sculpting and making stuff is my real passion. I still use the skills and knowledge of design and I still draw but it is a secondary tool. Nowadays I'm also passionate about making my comic after not drawing for many years. Art is is such a large field that you can combine skills.

[SilentHamster102]

I'm having a crisis too right now, I'll watch the thread maybe some replies will be useful to deal with my crisis maybe not

[ratscout]

Hey, I totally get how you feel. A lot of the time I wonder if there's just something I'm doing wrong or if I really don't have much, if any, talent in the grand scheme of things, but I'm teaching myself to kick those negative feelings in the butt. What I personally like to do when I'm doubting myself is take out a piece of paper and literally write down all the things I love about writing my stories without mentioning views or subs or anything. It really helps ground me in reality and remind myself of why I write in the first place. I think you can do the same thing with art. Another thing I suggest doing is to make a short comic just for yourself about any idea you personally find inspiring and I suggest you don't share the project with anyone but yourself until it's done. That helps, too.

[Klaustasya]

Thank you, maybe i will try!

[joannekwan]

People usually say one has to make art for the 'right' reasons because it's just so hard to get popular without some luck. Sure you can make art for the sake of likes and shares, but it's just more disheartening when you can't get them. That's why loving what you do is a layer of protection, for when dreams don't come true (at least not yet).

But my advice is: Don't force it. Take a break from drawing. Take a break from social media. Try and indulge in some other hobby. Inspiration can strike where you least expect it.

[skicoak]

I think there's a real world correlation between being healthy enough physically to be around sick folks...and being mentally in the right place to deal with the toxic/grind of social media/Art/commerce world.

We can't really control how people react to our art... good or bad, but just in regards to Tapas,(a place I do enjoy and is leagues better than the alternatives of my youth) you have to wonder who was in the meetings that determined the best way to motivate creators to produce their best stuff was to center feedback around subscriber numbers and algorithms.

Long term, it's just not a healthy way to think about art.

But more to your situation, you likely need a way to recharge and fortify your mental armor before continuing to expose yourself to the things that are wearing you down. I don't know exactly what that'll be for you... but you should concentrate on finding it for awhile.

And sure, when you're ready to brave the grind again... all of us could learn to find ways to deal with it better, but to use a sports analogy, you don't tell a fighter already on the mat how to duck. While you're down, even the best coping strategies are useless... get recharged then give them a go.

Just my advice, hope it gets better for you.

[Klaustasya]

It's really hard guys, whenever i touch the pencil and start to draw the "why do i draw?" question keeps coming up and it REALLY feels like i alienated myself from drawing.
I don't think this is normal and i'm starting to seriously worrying.

[J.Lovelace]

Every reason to draw is good... even if you do it out of spite. Whether you do it to be popular or just for fun, in the end it's just a way to motivate yourself to keep going.

A lot of people try to give their actions a higher meaning and are in search for something deep... but in the end they just overcomplicate things.
It's like when gamers try to force that weird mindset of "you're not a true gamer if you [insert reason here]".
Gosh people, chill.

You just need a break.
If during that break you feel an itch to draw, don't ask yourself why and just draw. If you don't feel like drawing during your break, then just indulge in whatever makes you happy instead.

We learn our place in life all the time and our tastes and mindset changes along the way. I'm a completely different person than I was 10 years ago. You're most likely in that phase when you feel you need a change, but are too afraid to start something new, because whatever you did up until now feels like it was a waste of time. (Newsflash - it wasn't)

Just like with food, you have to try something yourself to see if it tastes good or not, same goes to hobbies and life choices. Don't be afraid to let go of something and try new things.
You can always go back to it later and start over again.

I feel very....bad, nor having a genuine reason for what i draw, still i just can't heart-lightining throw 3 years of drawing and 8 of art schools for this.

I don't know if this is any consolation to you, but I spent 8 years studying German language to be a translator and I threw it all away because in the end I realized it's not what I wanted to do. Yeah it was hard to just dump it all but I felt much better after I made up my deision.

Sometimes I feel like it was a mistake, but that's only because I failed my family's expectations and they treat me like garbage ever since. Well, that's their problem, not mine.
Still I don't feel like what I did during these 8 years was a waste of time, because during my studies I met a lot of great people and gained a lot of experience with living on my own.
My conclusion was that even if your main goal turns out to be a wrong decision, just think about all the things that you gained while pursuing it.

[ble]

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[SheiDraws]

I know how you feel about the being famous part. There was this time that I got discouraged posting my art online because I wasn't getting the same amount of engagement other artists are getting even though I think my art is better. It got so bad I stopped posting online for a while. I was still drawing though.

I eventually talked about this with one of my friends and she told me about her other artist friend who was IG famous and how they worked really hard to get the amount of followers they had by participating in trends constantly. They'd put up art every. single. day. Which got me thinking. I'm expecting the same results they got even though I hadn't put in the same hard work as they have. Man, am I arrogant.

As for the crisis, don't worry, you are not alone in this. A lot of art people go through this. And it's absolutely alright to not draw for a while. I also experienced that guilt of not drawing all the time (again, because of social media where ppl seem to post art all the time) but over time, I learned to let it go and just trust that the creative juices will start flowing again. As @joannekwan said, don't force it.